.....my mother-in-law is driving me craaazy!! lol... seriously. Everytime my husband and I are around she treats him not like the 27 year old man that he is but the 7 year old that he isn't. Everytime we're around her she interrupts our conversation, finds a reason or two to tell him what to do. Laughs at him when he tells her about what we plan to do for our future. When my hubby tried to explain, "When Etoile and I get our house...." she interrupts "What house!?" and scoffs at the idea all together.
When my brother-in-law got an A on his exams she just laughed that one off too. I really don't think she TRULY believes in her sons. The thing is she treats me REALLY nicely.
Her ex husband (my father-in-law) is a nice guy but frankly, I don't feel comfortable around him. My mother-in-law remarried and her husband is the COOLEST man on earth! My mother-in-law hates her ex, I can tell how she criticizes him and often compares him to her youngest son (who is 24).
2006-12-14 03:12:54 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband and I are handling it well. Although, any input or advice would be greatly appreciated!!
2006-12-14 03:13:35 · update #1
My question is why are the two of you even in her company. My mother in law was like that as well -- they always think their little boys are still boys. One day he said to her, "Mom, I think you need to understand that I am 35 years old, and a married man. I love my wife. She is the reason I exist. We will no longer be able to come here to visit you unless you stop the insults, and stop treating me as if I were still a child. The next time you make a comment such as this without thinking, we will get up and leave, and we will not be back. Do I need to repeat myself? Do you understand?"
The lady dropped her jaw. She did indeed begin in on him the next time we were at the house. He grabbed me by the arm, and said, "Mom, guess you forgot your manners. We cannot stay today. Call in a week or so when you feel better. " We left. The next time, she was an angel, and never forgot...(well, no, we were at a restaurant, and we took a taxi home.... but after that, she remained civil.... ) You mother-in-law in not teachable, she is only trainable, hon. But it takes a son with lotsa balls to do it.....
2006-12-14 03:37:13 · answer #1 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sound to me , like your mother-in-law needs to let go of those ill feelings and memories gone bad in her past relationship. Just because her son's remind her of her x, doesn't mean they are her x! We're all just like snowflakes. She does not sound like a happy women and is a taker instead of a giver! Get on with what life has to offer and support your families dreams. Since she treats you so nicely, Maybe you should approach her on the subject? No one likes being around a negative person for too long! Take a hiatus from visiting and if it does continue..........communicate your feelings!
Sincerely, Gary
2006-12-14 11:32:02 · answer #2 · answered by Gary L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother in law is similar to this. Really it did not change until my husband required it of her. For years I simply just had to let them have their relationship as it was and accept it did not change my idea of him as a man that she was so demeaning. Women who have had to take the upper hand when they have so many men around can develop an attitude that men are weak and are incapable no matter what. As long as she is nice to you just remind yourself that this is her way of caring, but be strong and get your house and manage your house yourselves. In time she'll start to see she can not control anything about him or you.
2006-12-14 11:35:19 · answer #3 · answered by Love to Love 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have heard of mother-in-laws like that who treat their sons like babies. I am curious though, was she like that even before you got married? She needs to let go and let you guys live your life without interruption or sarcastic remarks. How about you rent the movie monster-in-law and watch with her and see how she will react to it!
2006-12-14 11:30:06 · answer #4 · answered by Riderya 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's just the way they are. Try not to let it bother you. It sux, but it can be done. Mothers don't want to admit that their sons are growing up. SOOO, imagining the whole idea of him getting a house and growing up, is obsolete. Just take it as it is, and let her be a delusional mom.
2006-12-14 11:33:24 · answer #5 · answered by bbygirl529 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since you're getting along fine, I suppose it would be said to leave it alone, ignore it. However, since it is beginning to get to you, perhaps you can send her a heartfelt letter.....(before 'grandchildren become a reality)
Asking why she treats her sons as she does. That you feel it's so very hurtful to all concerned. You may also embellish how you respect her, blah, blah, blah. It would be interesting to see how........IF she responds to you. Best wishes to you and yours.
2006-12-14 11:29:30 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pursue the point. If she asks, "What house?" say, "The house we wish to buy." Ask her questions: "What's funny about that?" "Do you really think it's unrealistic? Why?" "What is the basis of your opinion?" Keep asking her question after question, in a businesslike tone, until she realizes that she really hasn't thought things through. Pursue the line of questioning to its logical conclusion.
2006-12-14 11:18:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Pray that God will let her hear herself when she talks to her children....I would guess that she loves them more than anything but never learned how to handle the fact that they are independent and grown.
God bless you and your whole family this Christmas season!
2006-12-14 11:16:45 · answer #8 · answered by Buff 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
kinda reminds me f everybody loves Raymond (sorry, no offense) but seriously, maybe, she is seeing you two fulfill dreams and everyone has dreams about things and maybe she is looking at you in jealousy seeing all your dreams become a reality while she doesnt have that opportunity anymore. it's just a thought ....
2006-12-14 11:38:58 · answer #9 · answered by shutgstr1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry,my mother inlaw is a drunk and i kicked her out after 3 months of mooching off us. I just try to ignore her.
2006-12-14 11:17:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋