I caught my 13 year old daughter in her bedroom with her friend at 12.00P.M. i had no idea he was there. well i knocked on her door it took her like 7 minutes to unlock her door she said hold on.i told her goodnight and i said i needed something out of her closet she said ''NO!'' and i told her to come out the kitchen for a second i said to her ''Why don't you want me to go in your closet?'' she responded ''Cus i just don't.god damn it mom your always in my business'' so i went to go in her closet and she said ''MOM WAIT! i have to tell you something!'' so i turned around and she said ''Mom andrew is in there.pleaseeeeeeeeee dont tell dad he'll kill me'' i FLIPPED!! i gave her 2 minutes to get him out of there and to leave.. and she admitted to me she has been having sex with guys since she was 12!!!
What should i do!?!???!
2006-12-14 03:08:35 · 24 answers · asked by That girl 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I don't believe in hitting.but i know her father would probably kill her.i did have a serious talk with her and she told me she might be pregnant and she started crying.what could i do about that!?!?! she's only going to be 14 in 2 weeks!!! help!!
2006-12-14 03:19:08 · update #1
well.... if u jus stop her from seeing him then she will jus find any way possible to see him but u SHOULD make her go on birth control or sumthing b/c u dont want her to get pregnant..... but like i said the tighter u hold on to her the more she is going to push away. GOOD LUCK**
2006-12-14 04:10:53 · answer #1 · answered by :) his girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is absolutely no reason you should keep this from her father, all that will do is reinforce that Mom and Dad are not together on serious issues. As a teen mom myself, I can tell that if she is pregnant, get her to a doctor. Do not talk her into an abortion, it would be way more damaging than any other option. If she keeps the baby, she can still finish school and lead a great life. If she gives it up for adoption, she can still choose to know her child even in a small way.
If she is not pregnant, make this the biggest wake-up call ever! Get in her touch with a teen mom, take her to an AIDS house. She needs to stop having sex. Tell her that she has so much more to give than her body. Make her feel that she is the most important thing in you life and her dad's life. Trust me, she probably feels like that is the only way she will fit in. Make sure she knows it's not.
2006-12-14 13:35:08 · answer #2 · answered by beccaboo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing, but probably the hardest, would be open communication with her. Your daughter having sex might be a real eye opener for you and it is important you talk about it with her. The most important thing to remember is though that if she wants to she will no matter what limitations you put on her so make sure if she is she is at least being safe about it. Don't encourage it, but at the same time protect her from the potential dangers of it. Explain to her you disprove but buy her some condoms to keep her safe.
I hope both of you get through this. This friendship is something you don't want to loose.
2006-12-14 11:14:17 · answer #3 · answered by Sir Smith 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have her tested. Then have a deep conversation with her to find out why thinks it's beneficial to have sex at her age. In certain countries girls are sometimes even married off and start having children from the young age of 12, but I don't think this is your daughters case so some dialoguing will have to commence. I know she asked you not to tell her father but this is something both of you will have to know.
The initial conversation may not include the father but he must know what's going on in his daughters life so that he can offer any assistance he can.
Being sexually active at a young age can make the person vulnerable to HIV, STD's, injuries or death in child bearing.
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2006-12-14 11:26:48 · answer #4 · answered by dymps 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I am 16 and my lil sis is about the same age as ur daughter. I f i found out that she was having sex, i would be extremely disappointed. I really dont have that relationship with my mom to be a ble to let her know if i have started having sex. Make sure, she can still come to, tell her how u disaprove of it and advice her on the consequences. Most of all help her remain safe.
2006-12-14 11:31:14 · answer #5 · answered by girlygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 15 and have been having sex since i was like 12 but...you need to help her...just put yourself in her shoes and see how scared she is and stuff....talk her through and make her reliaze how hard life would be with a kid..tell her that what she is doing isnt very responisble and that she lost your trust a little bit you cant go easy on her cuz she will do it again...you should ground her for like a week or two and show her wat she did was wrong if u just let her go she will do it again...tell her you are very happy she told you and tell her that u wont tell her dad about it since she confessed to having sex. Keep it just between you two.
2006-12-14 12:22:10 · answer #6 · answered by bekah_2009 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its young i admit it I mean i'm 14 and im still a virgin and proud to be. I know that my parents would kill me if I had sex with a boy before 16 but I am what boys say a hard to get girl and you should tell her not to do that as ppl will think that she's a slut. Keep the bedroom's window barred:P
2006-12-14 12:17:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, tell her father. He is her parent also.
I was in this exact situation. Only I was the girl.
My parents sat me down and really had a good talk about appropriate choices. For the next 3 or four years I was on a short leash. Early curfew and I had to call in all the time. it really taught be a lesson on honesty and picking right over wrong. Plus, the big talk made me realize I was hooking up with guys for attention, not for me. I gained personal boundaries and when I finally shared my body with someone else, it was for the right reasons.
Realize you are the parent, not her friend. She shouldn't be allowed to talk to you like that.
She doesn't have any privacy right now, if she wants to keep something secret from you guys its obviously something she shouldn't be doing in the first place.
Talk about sex education with her and about birth control.
2006-12-14 11:20:12 · answer #8 · answered by kaye t 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
i realize that this probley didnt thrill you but, shes not going to stop, thats the way adolescents work. a friend of mine did the same thing and her parents caught her and she was grounded for two months. however all she did was sneek out, so pretty much the reasonable thing to do would be to sit down with her and tell her that you dont approve of what she has been doing, and you would really prefer that she did not do it; but if she isnt going to stop, the least you could do is get her on birth control and get her condums to protect her. hope this helps you!
2006-12-14 12:08:46 · answer #9 · answered by emilayyyy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well theres really nothing you can do about her having sex, you can give her **** but than she will just go and do it behind you back. as far as he being pregnant you can try to convince her to abort because shes so young chances are u will be the one to end up raising the baby, however if u feel shes responcable enuff to have this baby and mature enuff(physicaly,mentally and emotionally)than let her have it... you need to talk to her mother and daughter u cant get mad though just sit down and straight up tell her ur taking her for a test and if she is her father is going to have to know obviously... if however shes not tell her ur putting her on birth control (aleese 21's are the best!)... buy her condoms and pay for her pills, etc... would u rather her be having sex safe or having sex and getting diseases and having kids, etc?... u need to keep ur cool with her... tell her your not accepting the fact that shes sneaking gys into the house at all hours of the night to have sex with them and so on... tell her if it happens again u will ground her...and she will not be allowed to be with that boy outside of school.. go on by telling her that just becasue shes having sex that doesnt mean shes an adult and your still the parent here and wheather or not she like it you n her father make the ruiles and shes going to abide by them and if she doesnt she knows where the door is!(thats wat my mom told me!).....
take her to a plan parenthood office and let her see what young moms go thru..etc...find out if theres any place that offers a "think it over baby class"(they bring a computerized doll home for a week and care for it! everything gets reported in the pc)....
best of luck to you, and if u need to talk im here or if u want me to talk to your daughter because i know what its ilke being that age and not being a virgin...trust me... im here for u or her
daydreamin_ashley@yahoo.ca
feel free to add me to ur contacts or give ur daughter my addy i would love to speak with her!
2006-12-14 15:36:08 · answer #10 · answered by ♥PrEcIoUs♥DaYdReAmEr♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋