I met Steve about twelve years ago. We instantly started dating. After about 6 weeks the girl he had been dating came into where I was working and confronted me about dating her boyfriend. She even had proof that they were still dating. Needless to say we broke up. I just couldn't stay with a man that thought nothing of dating two woman at the same time.
Recently I ran into Steve. He is now currently single. Or so he says. He has asked me out quite a few times. The problem is I am with someone else. I am married now. I have told him this. He
continues to pursue me though. He will call my house and threaten my husband. He drives by my house at night.
This is really getting out of hand. It is causing stress between my husband and me. I know I am not giving Steve any indication that I want him. I am happily married. I want nothing more than to be with my loving husband.
How do I get Steve to see that what we had ended years ago. I do not wish to rekindle what has died.
2006-12-14 02:47:58 · 14 answers · asked by bikini bandit 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You may have already done what you can to discourage Steve. Continue to ignore him. Don't let him destroy your happiness. Have you ever considered that this Steve may be mentally ill. Sometimes mental illiness causes people to do wierd things. I would consider his calling your driving by your house as stalking. You need to let the authorities know if this is happening. Doing so will relieve your stress. both of yours.
2006-12-14 03:07:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have already told Steve that you are happily married and do not want to be with him, my suggestion would be that the next time Steve contacts you, tell him that if he doesn't leave you and your family alone you will seek a restraining order.
That should get the point across.
2006-12-14 02:52:20 · answer #2 · answered by Mary L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this isn't going to be a popular answer, but i think you need to look into yourself. *Any* woman knows how to let a man know she's not at all interested, and chasing her will be a waste of time. You're obviously send him mixed messages, ala "Go away a little closer." Perhaps you're flattered that he finds you so desirable that he's ignoring your "protests"? The fact that you're keeping your present husband informed on how desirable you are simply seems to confirm this. It's a classic "Let's you and him fight" scenario.
I've had lots of men come on to me after I was married. A brisk and cheerful, "Sorry, not me!" works just fine.
Maybe you're feeling a little bored in your current marriage. If so, you need to work to make that more exciting. Maybe you need a little drama? There are so many healthier, more productive ways to inject it.
I don't mean to rag on you; I just honestly feel that you don't hate it *nearly* as much as you say. If you did, it would have been over after the first time he approached you.
2006-12-14 03:48:38 · answer #3 · answered by JustZoe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay first of all, Steve sounds psycho. You need to get a restraining order if he is 'threatening' your husband and driving by your house. That is really scary, actually.
Second of all, tell him it's done. OVER. He obviously can't respect you enough to pay attention to the fact that you are married which goes back to the first thing I said. He sounds like a stalker, honey.
2006-12-14 02:59:34 · answer #4 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh I have a great idea. Why doesn't everyone here on Yahoo Answers hop in our cars, drive to your place and then we'll all go track down Steve and beat him up?
Christ lady! Call the cops and end this nonsense and get this psycho lunatic into the court system.
Must I take you people and hold you by the hand to solve these simple problems?
2006-12-14 02:52:13 · answer #5 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Wow!
The PROBLEM is not that you are married. The PROBLEM is that he is clearly a psycho.
Sounds like you need to visit the police station. If it is safe to wait a bit, document his actions well. Take some pictures. Record a phone call or two. File a police report and get a restraining order. Hopefully this will stop him dead in his tracks.
2006-12-14 02:50:36 · answer #6 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
whoa!...souns like Steve needs help!...Steve is gonna hav 2 understand that he's no longer apart of ur life and that you've found better!
Get an alarm system or call the police because its clear that Steve has got a PROBLEM!
2006-12-14 02:58:37 · answer #7 · answered by Care_Bear 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to alert the authorities. Its as simple as that. There is no convincing this guy and how the hell did he even have your contact info now? Why did you even want to associate yourself with someone like that when you know you are married?
2006-12-14 03:00:09 · answer #8 · answered by Need Answers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a restraining order against him for stalking. That should give him a clue and give you some power to do something about it if he violates the order.
2006-12-14 02:53:34 · answer #9 · answered by PDH 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
call the cops and take out a restraining order.
2006-12-14 02:53:31 · answer #10 · answered by nanabooboo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋