Ok this is the thing, my best friend is married w/2 kids. She has a great husband that try's his hardest to do what he can for her and the kids. Trust me she appreciates it. She talks to people online and has always been honest with them, telling them she's married and has kids, etc. Well she met this one person, again she was honest. He was like cool. Somewhere along the lines he started to have like a crush on her and she started to feel the same for him. She has never ever cheated on her husband. Ever. And it's not like she plans on doing it either, my question is..what do you think she should do. And i know most of you are going to say " She needs to leave that other guy alone", "She's a whore" blah blah blah...Thats not what i want to hear. She loves her husband very very much. I know it's possible to love more than one person. The thing is, is that this guy knows she married and he's in no way wanting to pressure her at all. What do you do when you have feelings for more than 1 ?
2006-12-14 02:35:34 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hey NeedSome..I'm not the "friend" in question. I've had my problems and I've delt with them..but thanks anyway
2006-12-14 02:51:36 · update #1
I do not feel there is anything wrong with talking to someone or having feelings as long as you do not physically act on them. Having relationships with other human beings is very important and sometimes all that makes life worth living. As long as she always keeps her kids and husband at the top of her priority list and does not physically act on her feelings for this other guy I do not see any issues with her talking to him.
2006-12-14 02:46:17 · answer #1 · answered by Brian 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Ok well here is the best answer i have...she needs to stop with the internet chatting. That stuff can get you in a lot of trouble. She can hurt her husband, so what if she was honest, so what if she told him she was married and has kids her husband would be so hurt if he knew that she was talking to another person the way he and she talk. It is wrong, just tell your friend to stop internet chatting, forget the man and yes you can have feelings for more than one, however, first of all another question is has she ever seen or met this "internet guy"? if not then he won't be too hard to forget block email address and get out fast.
2006-12-14 02:45:21 · answer #2 · answered by alwayslate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been on the end of the husband. Whether she likes it or not she is pushing a trust issue around and betraying him in the deepest ways. Being intimate does not always mean sex!! This is soo crushing and hurtful in a marriage. I have to say that if she wants to be with her husband, she will need to stop her relationship with the other guy. Otherwise she is jeapordizing her marriage. Many, including myself, sees this as emotional cheating, which with some may be worse then physical. Tell her to stop immediately and tell the new guy that she can not and will not hurt her husband in any way shape or form.
It only takes a cracked door for the wind to blow it open!
2006-12-14 02:51:05 · answer #3 · answered by hey_there_heathe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to come to a conclusion on her own and stick with it. This other guy is really not respecting her husband or the idea of marriage and I have no respect for people like that. At the same time, she is not really respecting her husband as well. She really needs to figure out what's wrong or missing in her life for her to put herself in that situation. I'm sure there are qualities her husband wish she could have, but he accepts her for what she is. She really needs to think of the potential consequences of her actions. The issue is with her and she really needs to make a decision, b/c there is no going back and she can not waver. She just needs to come to a conclusion and stick with it b/c she has responsibilities that she can not just put aside.
2006-12-14 03:10:38 · answer #4 · answered by Need Answers 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well considering you already said you won't accept any answers like "she needs to leave that guy alone". You've pretty much already decided on what course to take.
How about this: She already cheating on her husband. Adultery is not just having sex with someone else. how do you think she would feel if her husband 'loved more than one person'.
If she feels guilty, she should. if she doesn't then obviously she doesn't care about her marriage as much as you think. This may sound harsh but that's life.
2006-12-14 02:51:15 · answer #5 · answered by Fire_God_69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People that love their husbands "so much" don't look for emotional fullfillment on the internet, for heaven's sake.
If you want us to tell you that is OK to cheat and to romance strangers on the internet, then you won't hear it from me or anyone with a little bit of common sense.
What does she need to do? Unplug the damn internet and concentrate in her marriage and kids. It's easy to be "Mr. wonderful" by typing on a computer, but it's hard labor to work like slave to bring home the bacon. He works so she can confortably sit on her a ss and cheat on him online? That man needs some respect.
Does she needs to fill her "void"? What about getting a JOB.
Good luck
2006-12-14 02:45:51 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like you already know...she needs to leave the online guy alone. If she really really loves her husband THIS is easy to do. Her life with hubby doesnt seem to be so grand to me if she is willing to risk losing it all with an ONLINE phantom. What she is doing and has done IS cheating. Cheating is not only having sex with someone. She has gotten emotionally involved with another man. She is a cheater and if she wants to be with her hubby..she needs to grow the hell up and get her priorities in check. TRUE love would prevent her from loving another!!.
2006-12-14 02:48:48 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she loves her husband and would never cheat on him, then maybe she should be talking to her husband instead of chatting online with strangers. Her life and relationship have something missing that she finds attractive in her online man. There are different levels of cheating and even though she hasn't physically been with online guy, she is depriving her spouse of the " loving and cherishing" of her marriage vows. I suggest she cut ties with online guy if she wants her relationship with her husband to work and seek some marital counseling to discover why she turns to the internet instead of her spouse.
2006-12-14 02:48:44 · answer #8 · answered by kelloggs322 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You decide what you want more. Your freedom or your family. Obviously everything is not perfect at home, or she wouldnt have developed feelings for someone online. She has to make a decision as to why she is feeling things for someone she hasnt even met. Something is missing here!
2006-12-14 02:41:37 · answer #9 · answered by lee911 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She just needs to leave this man alone, stay off the online of internet, because she has made herself too vulnerable of having an emotional need met, that her husband has neglected to do, by being a workaholic, and meeting the family needs!
She needs to find ways to her husband to get more intimancy with him, and not be a vulnerable target!
Guys go for married women with workaholic husbands, because, they know, that their husband loves them so much, and not able to meet all the wife needs sexual and emotional, so they used married women at this purpose of target to get sex out of them, and used as blackmail to the women and thier husbands!
She needs to stay away from all vulnerable moments at this time,but keep busy, and have girlfriend time, while her husband faithfully take care of his family fiancial, being a workaholic, and she needs to admit that this vulnerability that she is under, is needing more attention from her own husband!
This is how and why women cheats on their own husbands, because they don't know to communicate with their husbands, and tell them that their needs of affection, flirting, and etc all need to be met by one person and that is their own husbands!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ladies, please stop letting yourselves being easy targets and being so vulernable to letting your emoitional needs get met by you own husband. If you are indeed being neglected, the last thing you need to be on situations of meeting people, and being easy targets for men who only targets the married ones, of having fringe benfits, and no strings attached!!!!!!!!!!!!
They are players are after one thing, to get vulnerable women to cheat, and make them stay with their own husband and maintaining the affairs and make their own lives miserable.
2006-12-14 02:50:50 · answer #10 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋