my daughter is 14 and wants 2 date a 17yr i said no and she doesn't understand why?

Question

any parents have the same problem that can help me. what did you do to resolve it? is say school is more imp. and that she is too young wait till 16 or older but i get faces made at me.

I know the boy and he drinks alcohol. and hangs around 21yro drug heads and thieves. i told her this but she just rolls her eyes. any advice?

Answer 1

She is 14 and you've made the best decision for her that you can. No need to explain yourself or worry about the faces she makes. It is your job to make the decisions that she may not like. Stick to your guns and remember that you are not her friend, you are her mom.

Answer 2

Too bad about the faces. You're being a limit-setting parent and at the age of 14, you're up against a lot! I am not a parent but I do know that 14 year olds are convinced they know everything and that they are entitled to every priveledge that true grown ups enjoy- they can be highly rebellious and belligerent. Stay your course and HOLD YOUR GROUND!! She'll respect and thank you later in her life. PS- There's no good redeeming thing a 17 yr old boy wants with your daughter other than her "virtue". My mother was very strict with me and when I demanded answers, she merely replied, "Because I said so." End of story. Good luck!!

Answer 3

No offense, but that may have been a bad move. This may force her to date him behind your back. She came to you saying she wanted to date him - which was an opportunity to strenghthen your relationship. You can ask her all the questions you want to know about this boy before you make a decision if she should date him. If you say no then, you would have known the qualities you don't like about him and explain that to her based on your own experiences. Furthermore, you could have monitored their dating by inviting him over to meet him and getting to know him and showing your daughter that you are concerned about her love life and that you want to be sure he will do her right. She would respect that. Also it would give you a chance to see just how respectable he is.

This is not to say that she shouldn't wait to date. But now is a good time to be a great relationship with your daughter in respect to boys.

Reconsider it.

Answer 4

I have two daughter myself and they are 7&5 years old. My wife ask me this question. And I told her that after they are in college then they can date. Because they are grown up enough to understand that after all the problem that come a long with dating and marriage, Sometime's it make's you wish that you where a child again. But if I where you I would take my child to a Hospital where there are young mother's, Who are her age and let them talk to her about how much of life see is going to miss out on. And this guy, You should talk to his parents, Because in some state's he can go to jail for dating a child.

Answer 5

Point blank... Black and white... You said "NO!". Stick with that. You feed, cloth, and shelter that girl! What you say goes. That's all she needs to understand. Explain to her that you do not approve, and you understand it's "typical" these day... but your not the "typical" mother, and your not going to give in just because everyone else is doing it. You know as well as any other parent on this planet what is right, and what is wrong. Don't stoop to her level, and let her do it just because that's what she wants. Do what you wont regret, and you feel is right for her. Protect her now, because there comes a point when you can't truly protect her from everything... or everyone. Do what you can now! Good Luck... your gonna need it!

Answer 6

Yes. My daughter is 14 and was seeing a 16 year old. She actually took off for the day because I told her now. What did I do? Chased her all over town (with the police) finally found her at midnight - on a school night no less! - and grounded her until her grades were Bs or better. I took her cell phone too. So far it hasn't worked too well. If they want to do it, they're going to. I have said everything I could think of, talked it to death and she still is bad. I caught her sneaking out of the house a couple of weeks ago. Finally, and I have never hit my kids, I threatened to kick her a**. I got right in her face and screamed it at her. If she wants to act grown, I will beat her a** like she's grown.
So far that is working but who knows for how long........... Good question and good luck!

Answer 7

she's not going to understand why. She's a kid, I wouldn't have understood then either.
The problem is if you forbid her to do it, she'll find a way. Teenagers rebel, but at the same time there needs to be limits and boundries set. It's not safe for her - or him. Why not meet him? At least make the pretense of caring and getting to know him, let them date inside the house, in the living room... maybe she'll realize for herself why it's a bad idea.
The best way to learn a lesson is to learn it by experience - it stays with you longer! I can say that as a 21yr. old

Answer 8

Have you met this guy??
I started seeing someone 9 years older than me when i was 16 (who is now my husband) but i lied about his age to my family so that i could continue seeing him.
Wouldnt it be fair to give him a chance first because it would be awful if she felt she had to lie to you and become rebelious just to move her life forward. Perhaps a comprimse may be fairer that a straight no.
My sister is 14 and seeing a 16 year old and its actually really good for her, he supports her with everything and she is much happier with school and life in general since shes been with him. I know it may seem to you like hes just in it for sex but perhaps thats not his intentions.

Answer 9

Well, you could try to explain (logically) to her that a 17yo boy is probably not interested in her for her intelligence. My dad's advice was great, if not crude, but absolutely to the point. "All guys only want to get in your pants. End of story." It saved me from teen pregnancy and lots of jerks. But if she's in full hormone rage, it may have the opposite effect. Just let her know that you love her and are way more life-experienced than her, and that it is just not good for her. If all else fails....invite him over and put the fear of Jesus into him! LOL!!! Seriously, use some humor. Let him know that, while you don't approve, you'll let him come over and have supervised visits, let him know you own a shotgun and know how to use it, your family believes in mating for life, get creative!!!

Answer 10

i aint a parent but this is what i think:
maybe u can tell her softly that u are afraid that she might get hurt emotionally.. maybe u might not want to mention school yet, cuz it might jus make her furious.. why not ask her a personal favour to not have a boyfriend until you're ready.. maybe u can tell her that if she ever gets hurt by the guy, u'll also be hurt..and u're not ready for that yet.. ask her to do it for you.. if she's not willing to do it for herself..
im sorry if it sounds childish or anythin, cuz im far from bein a parent, but these are the things people wish to do when they become parents, but forget when they really become one..
and for me, when i can't force someone to do somethin, i usually ask a personal favour of him/her.. to do it for me.. and then i'll know that i owe that person a favour too..

i hope this helps a little..