I cannot afford the cost of mediation, but my husband will not agree to a fair settlement. He is the one who cheated in the marriage and I am the one paying for it. How do I get through this without spending all this money I do not have. My lawyer has tried, but he will not bend. I really need reasurance that the mediation will be fair and I can get on with my life. I just need some feed back from someone who has gone through this.
2006-12-14 01:49:14 · 9 answers · asked by grannymiller 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Mediation is a waste of your time and money if your husband will not bend since you both have to agree to the outcome.
Your lawyer should have told you this.
2006-12-14 01:51:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 7⤋
My Son and his ex-wife just had to go through a mediation. The alternative was better than going to court again. They did work a lot of things out. It sounds like you have no choice, unfortunately divorce costs a lot of money. Lawyers seem to be the only ones that truly make out under these circumstances. Even though your husband cheated, you have to let that go and focus on the children now. It always seems like they get caught in the middle. My ex-daughter in law loves to use the children as pawns when she doesn't get her way or she doesn't have full control over everyones lives. This is why my son took her to mediation! Next will be court if she doesn't follow the mediation rules. It sounds like you are the one trying to be reasonable in this situation. Mediation looks at that and they come down hard on the person who is being unreasonable. If your husband keeps this up it will end up in court and you will be entitled to what the law allows whether he likes it or not. Please put the kids first if there are any kids! Don't ever let them hear you fighting with the ex! They Love you both and have every right to do so. Dont ever bad mouth your ex in front of them because it will come back to bite you. Good Luck and pray that you get through these hard times ahead. It will get better with time.
2006-12-14 02:30:14 · answer #2 · answered by blmarkham 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Settle.
A bad settlement is better than a good fight. If you really want to go on w/ your life. The sooner you settle the sooner your new life begins. However, the lawyers benefit the most with a long litigation.
Invest your precious time and whatever assets you have in your future life.
You say he is being stubborn, but in divorces usually both litigants follow the mule. Stubborness and divorces are synonymous. Both want to beat the other thinking that wining will ultimately make them happier. This is an oxymoron.
Only the lawyers win.
2006-12-14 02:08:18 · answer #3 · answered by rbt33176 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have not been through mediation but have a dear friend who is a mediator.
You can be assured that the process is fair and that a good mediator will accept no bull from your husband. He will surely try to sabotage the proceedings but a good mediator will be ready and able to deal with that.
This is you best chance. Your best chance to get a fair deal and have it over and done with. Do what you can to speed up the process. I know it's expensive but so is a dragged out divorce.
I think you will find there is no trick or hint to get you through it. Keep your head on straight, deal as fairly as you can and let the mediator do his/her job. If they are good they will know how to deal with the likes of your ex.
2006-12-14 01:59:23 · answer #4 · answered by outdone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck to you, this is a situation that will cost you dearly, My fiance is going through a nasty divorce with his soon to be ex wife and she will not budge either.
Mediation is usually fair, kind of like court without going to trial. Make sure your lawyer is well prepared and has all the facts that can aid in your case, a mediation decision is not binding and you might be able to appeal what ever the outcome may be in case you are not satisfied with the result, but it seems to me that you really want out of this marriage, take what you can, and move on,
good luck
Irene
2006-12-14 01:56:59 · answer #5 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very seldomly does mediation work. my lawyer informed me of that before I went but where I had children I was made to attend by the judge. It was a horrible experience and we got absolutely no where. If you do not have children then I do not believe it is required and you should not waste your money...he has not been agreeable up to this point why would he be now? I would ask my attorney if it was required and if it is not I would pass on it and just go to court and let the judge decide...it will probably come out in your favor where he cheated on you....dont waste your money if you dont have to .....been there and done that...all for nothing.
2006-12-14 01:55:31 · answer #6 · answered by Stacy H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is NO cheap way to get out of a marriage. The lawyers are the only ones that come out ahead. Unless you are on welfare, then they pay for most of it. If not, oh well, cuz laywers are snakes and don't give a **** about you.
2006-12-14 01:54:26 · answer #7 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your worred about mediation.u should pay more atention to your house,car,kids,food
2006-12-14 01:58:27 · answer #8 · answered by bigpopi@verizon.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try calling those free clinics for help. forget him!!!!!!
2006-12-14 01:53:55 · answer #9 · answered by thundercheeks 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋