has anyone ever felt like they wanted to die after a break-up? please tell me that i'm not the only one?

Question

how can i get through this? everyone tells me that i have to move on and get over him, but i can't. my heart is still with him. what can i do to make all the pain go away?

Answer 1

Heather, it's normal to feel the way you do and it's a lot easier said than done when others tell you to move on/get over him when it's not them going through what you're going through. Honey, you are NOT the only one. I've been in that boat before and I couldn't have felt more like crap. I had my good cry. I had a few good cries. But you know, take it from someone that's been there.........people break up for reasons. And besides, whether it was you that broke up with him or him breaking up with you........you deserve better. You are missing certain qualities about him that you will see in another - in time. It may be looks. It may be the way he smiled at you. It may be the way he made you feel when he was around. Maybe it was his voice. But whatever it was that attracted you to him - there are way too many guys out there....actual good guys......that look good, smart, nice, caring, giving, sensitive and just plain decent. This guy you just broke up with.....honey - he won't be the first. He won't be the last. Do you believe in God? If you do, have faith in Him girl. Trust Him and whatever He got planned for you. It's not up to you to automatically know what's gonna happen ahead of time. But just take things one day at a time. Stay busy, busy, busy. Got family? They're there for a reason honey. Got friends? Hang out as much as possible. Got a job? Keep on working girl. I can truly promise you - it'll be okay. You are NOT alone. At the same time, this heartbreak your feeling - will just make you stronger girl. And more wiser..........next time, you'll know better. I think back to a time when I was heartbroken over a guy and I remember how I felt.......and girl, I can't believe I wasted tears over someone that wasn't worth crying over. In time you'll see and feel the same thing. Just because you still have feelings for him --- only means you have a big heart and a conscience. Not everybody has that girl. But what goes around, comes back around. This dude that hurt you......someone will do that right back to him. Good luck in your healing process. But always keep your head up.

Answer 2

There is no easy fix for this dear. It takes time.

First, stop thinking that you'll get back together. Focus your energy on something more productive. Work more, make money and save for a trip somewhere. A new experience and a bit of travel will add time and distance to give you perspective from the break-up.

Don't try to replace him with someone new. You need time to heal your heartache and become whole again before you can invest time in another relationship.

It's not easy, but it is important to take the time to mourn the relationship, your hurt feelings and sense of loss of all the things you'd hoped for with this person. Your heart will be fine, and so will you.
The "feel like you want to die" is not a true suicidal wish, it's just that perhaps you have never felt as hurt or as upset about something before. If it is a true suicidal wish, you should seek professional help, now! A counselor can help give you some coping skills to get through this. But friends and family who care about you can accomplish the same thing. You're not the only one who's ever been through this. You'll be surprised how many people will empathize.
Just remember it takes time. It's normal to feel what you're feeling, but at some point though, you have to put your big girl panties on and get on with your life.
You'll be fine.
Good luck :-)

Answer 3

Heather, first and foremost, you will survive! Love can make people do the darndest things! I do not know your age, but love and a breakup can hurt at 10 or 100! Hurt is hurt at any age. Plus being around the holidays, you think you are the only single person on the planet! You are not girl!. If it had meant to work out it would have. Sometimes there are things ahead for us that we do not know about, things and people that are better than we could have ever imagined. When I was young, my first love screwed around on me....I thought I was doomed it was christmas time, he was with an older(ho)girl, got what he wanted from her...I wanted to die, I tried to open the car door while we were going down the road and jump out....guess what...the bastard let me do it! Thank God I only had a few asphault burns, bruises and a totally terminal case of embarassment....but guess what, I survived, he did not care for me, he just wanted what he could get...I saw it plain then, broke up with him that day and never looked back...i met my husband after that had my kids and thought boy i could have really screwed up my good life had I stayed with him, he is a druggy/got messed up in Vietnam and never help, just married one girl after another having kids here and there and everywhere....Loser....I heard from his sister about a year ago, she said he was single and wondered if I would go out with him!HAHAHAHHAHHA what a total joke, but I remember the pain I was in 40 years ago and it was so real at the time it made me want to die....hang in there honey, go find some volunteer work at the hospital or somewhere where people will appreciate your goodness, you will see, when you least expect it your white knight will ride up and sweep you off your feet! Mine did in the most unusual situation, we have been married for 26 years, 5 kids, 7 grandkids, and I love him more today than the day I met him....yours is just right around the corner....do not settle for anything less than you deserve....which is the best there is girl!!!!!

Answer 4

We can't just turn off our feelings like a light switch. It's going to hurt unless we are some emotional zombie who has no feelings at all.
One thing is true. Time heals. The pain does go away. Just keep hanging in there and that day will come when you feel nothing for him. Remember that hurting is a very human emotion that shows we are loving caring people. I would do something incredible for myself, such as visit the salon, have my nails done, buy a new outfit. Looking good can make you feel much better and lift your self esteem too.

Answer 5

Hey, I have totally been there i was with this guy for 11 months and one day he decided he needed a break. I cried for hours and it took time but eventually he called and we talked and we are really good friends. A lot of people feel as if there world is falling apart when the one person they love turns their back on you but everything will work out OK. Dyeing's not an option right now. You need to get out there and make sure they know its their loss not yours.

Answer 6

girl, let me tell you, i am 24 years old and still in love with my high school sweetheart. the pain does not just go away and a break up is crushing. the pain just gets less and less over time. it might even help you in a while to get a new man to take your mind off this. you're ex might even treat you bad in some way, like run his mouth about you, and that will make the feelings for him less too. NO GUY IS WORTH HURTING YOURSELF OVER!!!!!

Answer 7

You always feel like you've been kicked in the stomach when you have a painful breakup. It's normal. Unfortunately, there are no magic answers other than "time heals all wounds."

Try to develop a positive attitude about it. What did you learn from the experience? About yourself, men, relationships, etc.

And try to stay busy with friends, hobbies and activities. If you allow yourself to dwell on it, it will take longer for you to feel better.

Answer 8

Even though it is annoying to hear people say it - it gets better with time. Allow yourself to grieve the relationship, and try to find something to focus on - an upcoming event or new hobby.

I had a horrible breakup, and it took me a long time to get past it. I avoided listening to music (this usually upset me) and instead got books on CD to listen to in the car. I started jogging (couldn't even jog a mile before), and mapped out my progress until I could jog a 10K. I drove to Florida to visit friends. Just go to work or school as usual, and keep yourself busy and surrounded by people.

If you cry, try hemorrhoid cream for your dark circles! It works great!

Worst advice - jumping into another relationship. This just makes it worse.

Answer 9

ok ok heres what you do baby, gimme a call and i'll help u get over it..:-) but seriously. just accept within yourself that you have loved and lost. Anyone who wants to leave, let them leave. YOur destiny is never tied to persons who leave you. If it was meant by God for you to have him then he wouldn't have left. So hey, stop looking back, and look the next door. Just remember that there is no key to happiness, the door is always open. Dont move on so quickly u need some time for yourself, then when you belive your ready, then go girl!!!

Answer 10

yes, i think everyone has felt that way at one time or another. You have to distract yourself, go out with friends, see a movie. Try not to talk about him and avoid places where he might be or that the two of you went together. it's going to be hard but time does heal all wounds.