Would you put your 5-month old in day care?

Question

I am a college student and I'm trying to figure out should I put my daughter in day care. I really don't want to do it because I don't want anyone to abuse her. She is my only child and I love her with my whole heart. And I feel that I want her to be around someone that I know will treat her right. This last semester my aunt, my parents, her father, or my grandmother kept her. Now I want to go back to work, but her father says no because he do not want anyone to mistreat her. So he wants me stay home with her.

What should I do????

Here's another thing: My parents don't want me to work either because they think that it would interfere with my school work. But, the only reason why I want to work is because I like to have my own money.

Answer 1

OK, so you were in school and your family kept her, but now you are going to work instead of school...or on top of school? If I'm getting this right from your additional comments, you're going to be doing work AND school and they think it'll mess with your grades?

Well, here's an options...try to find a campus job that will be part-time, allow you to actually work on your school while there (sometimes) and give you a little extra money. There hours are usually so small that you wouldn't be away from your daughter very long and your family could watch your daughter still.

Another option is distance education. This is not for everyone though. You have to be an organized, dedicated person to pull this off b/c you actually have to set aside your own time, etc. You also have to be able to teach yourself, pretty much. This way, you could work a bit while your daughter stayed with your family.

The reason these two options are for keeping your daughter at home is because how you state your question, you seem like you don't want her in daycare.

I will say you do hear a lot about people abusing children in daycares, etc. It is heartbreaking and scary to think about, but it happens. But what a lot of people don't say is there are daycares that have very loving people working for them. I live in a small town and commute to a job in the city. I decided to leave my daughter in the daycare where I live because it's less expensive and I just got a good vibe when I toured it. Now, I LOVE this daycare. I think there are things it can improve on, like the meals they provide (I give my daughter her own meals b/c I think theirs aren't appropriate for younger babies) and there educational goals...they don't really teach anything...but the upside? I can tell that these people LOVE my daughter and she loves them back. I have actually found these people on the internet and it's great b/c I get updates throughout the day on what cute things she's done, and PICTURES galore!!! Also, she goes to them...she will wiggle from me in the mornings to give them hugs and that makes me know that they are treating her good. See, it's a personal preference whether or not you'd like her to be in daycare, but make sure it's for her best interest...even the pricier, bigger daycares aren't better sometimes b/c they aren't as caring. It just depends on what you're looking for...

Now a few things to consider. At daycare, your daughter will probably get sick more than now b/c of the close contact she will have with many other kids. This will mean you will have to miss some work anyway and pay for doctors bills. Think about that b/c it adds up. A benefit is that she will become used to being around other kids and how to interact. On drawback could be if there is a kid there that is teaching her bad things, but interaction (typically) is good. She will learn independence. You really should weight your options and consider what is best for the both of you.

One other option you may want to consider....working at a daycare! Most of the time, you don't get to keep your daughter in your "class" unless they only have one for each age range, but you will at least be there all day and get to keep an eye on her. That may be a good thing for you!

So here's my final answer. What I'd recommend since you did ask what you should do. I'll tell you what I'd do. I'd stay at home with my daughter except to do school and not worry about having my own money right now. Cherish the moments with your daughter as much as you can. Granted, being away from her will make you cherish them even more, but you won't get as many. And it can be heartbreaking hearing that she crawled/walked/talked for the first time at daycare with "strangers". I have to work...I have no other option. I'm a single mom and my parents won't support me (not that I've asked, but it would be nice), but I do live at home still for the extra help. I have to pay all my own bills, but I wish I could stay with my daughter. I, too, am a college student and I KNOW I could get so much more done if I didn't have to work. That'd free up some time for me to take another class. That would mean I'd be able to graduate sooner...get a better job...and have plenty of money for myself! Even with a job, I find it hard to have extra money and I wish I could buy my daughter toys and nice things now. But I realize that when everything falls into place when she's a bit older (job, education, etc), I'll be able to afford nice things for her when she can appreciate it.

I wish you the best of luck in your decision!

Answer 2

If you are still in school I think your school work, classtime, and taking care of your child are more than enough on your plate.

If you do not need the money and seriously look at how much you would make vs how much childcare would cost. Don't forget to take into account transportation to and from daycare and to and from work; and the fact that you are going to eat out more often because you will not have time to cook, drycleaning if you will work somewhere that requires that kind of attire, etc. You will probably find it is not worth working. Also if you are getting any assistance on your tuition that would probably be taken away if you work.

Only you can answer what is best for you and your child, but those are some things to take in account.

Answer 3

I personally would choose to place my child in daycare. Abuse wouldn't be much of a concern altho I hear it happens. My concern would be that the first 5 years of a childs life is spent bonding and learning from parents and family. I've heard too many stories where children were calling other people mom, dad, grandma, etc. it doesn't take a village to raise a child ;(

Maybe opposite schedules and dad could watch at least a few nights a week if you cannot wait until she goes to school.

Answer 4

Figure out your priorities. You have child now--things should change for her.

They are only this young for a short amount of time and people completely underestimate how important it for a child to have their mother with them. They learn so much in the first years. Who do you want them to learn it from?

Daycares only take care of a child's biological needs. They are not going to take care of them like you would. They don't care. They're there to collect a paycheck.

I hate how the world has set a new norm for kids to be shipped off to daycare to be "raised." Most parents only see their kids in the evenings for a couple of hours and on the weekends if they have off. I think this is sad and parent's are completely abandoning their children.


Anyway, if you can stay home with her--DO IT!! You will never regret it. Her father is not being sexist. That is just stupid. He wants you, the mom, to be there for your child.

Answer 5

i felt the same way when i had my daughter. i didn't even want her to go to school when she was old enough. i think we as mothers always have that fear that someone will mistreat them because everyone isn't their mother and don't love them the way we do. needless to say i didn't put her in daycare. i just had my family take of her while i worked until school started. i paid them the money i would have been giving the daycare and at a cheaper price. good luck

Answer 6

I personally will not put my kids in daycare. Especially a baby. No one reacts to your baby the way you will. I don't think babies are held enough in day care. Is there a way you can work during hours that daddy is home with the baby(evenings or weekends)?

My advice is that you stay home with her while she is so young. These days are going to be over soon enough, you should enjoy this while it's here. When she is a bit older, it will be easier to go to work.

Good luck.

Answer 7

I agree with Hootie562.

Their are a lot of things to consider when finding a daycare provider including:child to adult ratios, the consequences of your child getting sick more often, the extra money it will cost for transportation and the cost of someone other than family watching your daughter.

An option that might work for you is to work on campus (talk to financial aid about work study programs) and if your campus has an on-site daycare, take advantage of it. You will be close to your daughter because she will be on campus with you and with a work study program, they will work with you to find a balance of work/school that works for you.

Good Luck to you. I wish you the best for you and your family.

Answer 8

It's okay to put your child in daycare, just make sure that you are comfortable with the one that you choose. Make sure that you can go in there anytime unannounced and trust your gut instinct. My daughter has been in daycare since she was 4 months old and she's always been fine, we had a problem with our first daycare in that they didn't follow out feeding instructions and gave her stuff like pizza for a snack and so we very simply pulled her out and put her into a daycare that does follow our parental guidelines. It's not easy to take them to daycare, no mom wants anybody else watching after their children period, but as long as you do your research and make your presence known at the daycare, your baby girl will be fine.

Answer 9

If you can afford to stay home, stay home. If you have to work, work part time. Then you can be with her more often.

Therse a lot of work you can do from home. You could watch a kid or two part time, stuff envelopes, do phone or computer work, sell things on ebay.

I personally wouldnt be able to put my child in day care at any age, but some times you just cant avoid it.

Answer 10

check all availabel daycare centers very thouroughly. spend a day observing the center and how the adults/children interact. talk to other parents. try to see if maybe someone in your family can watch her half the time so you minimize the time spent there. and if her father is telling you you have to be a stay-at-home mom then dump his @ss because he's a sexist jerk. props to you for wanting to make something of your life besides being a housewife.