My Fiance cheated on me when I was pregnant and begged for a second chance I told him I would have a hard time forgiving him and might be a bit hurtful towards him and that he probably won't be able to handle it I told him he would have no right to be upset at me if I wanted to talk about what I was feeling because a betrayl is hard to handle. He said he would do whatever it takes to make things better and that he would prove himself but he only lasted three weeks. I did say things to him that were very hurtful but I feel it was a direct result of his infidelity that makes me loose control. He feels that I need to apologize to him and ask him to come back. I feel he knew what he was getting himself into when he asked me back. Should I apologize and was it o.k for him to walk out after he begged for a second chance. Am I wrong? Or is He?
2006-12-14 01:14:38 · 7 answers · asked by sadgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Who was wrong? In my opinion, both of you. He shouldn’t have cheated, and you shouldn’t have taken him back if you didn’t feel you could work through it and treat him decently. If you feel the need to continually strike out at him about this (and again, it was a crappy thing for him to do to you) then apparently you don’t need to be together right now. And with you being pregnant, you certainly don't need this added stress. Take some time apart and focus on the pregnancy.
2006-12-14 01:39:22 · answer #1 · answered by kp 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been in the same postion as you. My husband cheated and yes it is hard to forgive. Adding fuel to the fire is never a good thing either, it only makes matters worse. I think the both of you should apologize to each other if the relationship is that important to you. My problem was I was always thinking if he done it once, would he do it again, and in the back of my mind I still do think that, but I have taken a chance because i feel my marriage is worth it for me and our child. Trust and loyality are extremely important to me, and yes it does take time to get the trust back but it can happen, it just depends on how badly you want it. I wish you the best of luck, and in the event that it dont work out for you, life goes on. You live your life to make you happy. You and your child are the most important.
2006-12-14 10:15:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh for God's sake. Grow some aggats. If you feel that you were right then stand your ground. If you feel you were wrong apologize. If you want to spend your life with a guy who screws around on you while you're 'with child" and then makes demands upon you go ahead. Nothing but a divorce waiting to happen
anyway.
There. Was that any help for you in making up your mind?
2006-12-14 09:40:14 · answer #3 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
have you both sat down and really discussed WHY he cheated in the first place because without that talk neither of you can move on,,,im not talking '"was she better than me,,,,does she have bigger breasts" i mean,,"i need to understand why you felt you needed to go elsewhere,,what was in your head",,this isnt about saying sorry for either of you as you both,between you have grown resentment and you need to get over it and get back to the real issue and this hatred for what he did cannot go away until you can say you understand HIS reasons for cheating,,,,you dont have to agree he is off the hook as hurt doesnt go away like that but you do have to forgive to move on with this man,,,he also needs to show,by being honest ,,that HE understands that if he has problems,,if he has thoughts of being left out or just unloved,,,he can and should come to you,,,,,sit and have an honest talk and i mean honest,,get your feelings out there and allow him to,,,,if he wont talk about it he doesnt really want to sort it,,,,,,and he needs to see that but if he does talk to you about the whats and why,s,do listen,,if you cant forgive,,you cant move on.
2006-12-14 09:49:04 · answer #4 · answered by lex 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is wrong. I thought everyone who had completed kindergarten knew, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." What I'm getting at is that you *said* hurtful things, but he DID something hurtful, which is entirely worse. He is trying to shift blame onto you, and he is thereby demonstrating an inability to take responsibility. Your poor baby has a child for a father.
2006-12-14 09:34:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You were not the one who cheated - twice. Why are you feeling guilty for getting mad at him? He violated YOUR trust, and deserved to get lambasted for it.
This should be a red warning flag to you. For if he's cheating now, he'll do it when you're married. Take a step back and ask yourself if you really want to be in this kind of relationship.
2006-12-14 10:45:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is definetely wrong. Besides, you forewarned him of you mean attitude when you took his cheating a** back, right? He is the wrong one.
2006-12-14 09:58:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋