My step mother, whom i love is, an alcoholic. My dad has gone to councilling with her, into a clinic, but nothing helps. She has been an 'alcoholic' for at least 3 years now. He sais that she doesnt want to quit drinking. He doesnt know what to do and neither do I. I feel like I am interferring if i get too involved..even though i want to help in whatever way i can. Its very sad. Anyone with a similar situation and any advice?
2006-12-14 01:08:55 · 22 answers · asked by ultimate quality 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can tell her that you love her, that it hurts you to see her hurting herself, and that you want her to get help. Beyond that, it's up to an addict to hit their own bottom and come up for air. It's hard to have someone in a family with an addiction...alcohol, drugs, even food...because you want so much to help but you can only watch. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Good luck to her and to you.
2006-12-14 01:12:12 · answer #1 · answered by shannonscorpio 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My mother is also an alcoholic, but she has not had a drink in about 2 years now. I was 16 when she started and our relationship was destroyed, I was kicked out and had to be a "grown up" at a young age. Thank G-d I had the support of a very close friend and now I am very successful in the fitness field. But back to the point of the story, my mom quit drinking once she realized that she had lost me and my two other sisters. She saw that she was throwing her life away and that made her stop. If your stepmom doesn't want to stop,you can't force her, nothing can make her stop but herself. Hopefully she has an eye-opener one day soon and realizes all she is throwing away.
Good Luck and I hope it does get better for you and your family.
I listed a couple of websites that may help.
2006-12-14 01:22:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no advice to give and for that I'm sorry. Half the battle with alcoholisim is admitting that you have a problem. Clearly this is a hump that she can't get over.
Sadly the only way this will change is if she begins to help herself. Enabling her will only give her more and more of an excuse to keep drinking.
You can certainaly go to Al-anon. I do believe that they have people who can help you as sober family members who have an alcoholic in the family. Perhaps they can offer you the advice you seek.
The best of luck to you and your father on this...as well as your step-mom.
2006-12-14 01:44:11 · answer #3 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You step mother has to make the choice to Stop drinking. Your father and you can only wait til she decides. Be careful you both don't become codependents. This will only help her continue to drink. Don't clean up after a bad night of drinking don't tip toe around her don't get the alcohol for her. Take her keys away. Let her learn the consequences of her drinking. Its a hard harsh thing to do. Ive been there
2006-12-14 01:14:34 · answer #4 · answered by sabbycat76 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there is nothing that anyone can do until she decides to quit. My father is an alcoholic and his health is badly affected. It upsets us all and we have tried everything to help him stop but he refuses. With any addiction, the addict must want to stop or they will just continue.
It is very difficult for the people in their lives. I am sure you and your dad are devastated by this, but you need to understand addiction and accept you can do nothing without her willingness to stop. Perhaps you and your dad should get counselling and advice on how to cope with this.
The only thing you can do is not enable her. Do not buy her drink and do not encourage her to drink. Alcohol depenence is the only addiction that you can't just stop. You need medical help and a structured programme or withdrawl can be fatal.
My best suggestion is for you (her family) to get help coping with this and advice on how addiction works. That way you can accept that you are unable to help her. It won't be easy, but it is a fact nonetheless.
2006-12-14 01:24:08 · answer #5 · answered by jaynic72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't, they have to want to help themselves. You can try and force help on them all you want, but at the end of the day if they want to drink there is nothing you can do to stop them. They see nothing wrong in what they're doing, they always know someone who drinks more than they do, they are only having a drink because of a bad day they've had. as long as they are making excuses like these then they don't want to stop and im sorry you cant make them. I know i'm gonna get slated for this but in my opinion alcholics are the most selfish b*****ds you'll ever meet, its all about what THEY want, how hard THEIR life is. and dont give a stuff how it rips apart familys and ruins other peoples lives. Leave her to it she has to hit rock bottom before she can float back up! phew and im usually so happy and lighthearted as well!
2006-12-14 01:20:11 · answer #6 · answered by keeky.c 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know lots of alcoholics. And truthfully there is nothing you can do to help unless the alcoholic wants to stop drinking. The best thing to do for an alocoholic, even though it seems harsh, is to stop enabling them. It may mean letting your step mom know you love her, but that she has to choose between alcohol and you, and letting her live that choice. After all, you don't want your life to be damaged because of her choices.
2006-12-14 01:48:21 · answer #7 · answered by badneighborvt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't want to help herself, there's nothing you can do or say to change that. Is she depressed? With her only been drinking for 3 years, tells me that maybe she is a depressed person and was trying to find relief in the wrong places. Maybe if you can find out if that is why she started drinking. If she can get some help for that maybe she won't look else where for happiness.
She also has to realize she has a problem and she will have to quit for herself...............Good luck and God bless...............
2006-12-14 01:19:51 · answer #8 · answered by horsecrazy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they will only stop if they have a reason to. (Rock Bottom) your dad needs to be extreme in his stance on getting her sober. He needs to take away her comforts like home and money. You could also try an intervention and let her know that her drinking is affecting you, your family and friends. Good Luck.
2006-12-14 01:19:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be strong together....The power to quit is on the hand of your step mom. Show her how her drinking is affecting you and your dad and that you need her (without blaming her or making her depress). But after 3 years i'm sure you use every thibg take some support from the link below (i was drug conselor)
2006-12-14 01:16:26 · answer #10 · answered by megalura 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋