I have been with my partner (not married) for 8 years I have recently realised that I deserve better & not to be treated like sh*t. Anyway, I've never been on my own, I don't actually *own* anything (everything is in his name) & all I have are a few clothes. Everything including the obvious, (house, car, etc) is in his name or he paid for it. Everything from my computer, mobile phone, the dog, everything. The money I've ever earnt has always gone into disposable things like grocery shopping, petrol for the car, that kinda thing so I have nothing to show for it.
Anyway, my question is, have you ever left everything & started from nothing? I'm in my mid twenties & worry that it's too late for me as I haven't ever been on my own. (Got engaged when I was 16)
Any advise please?
2006-12-14 00:33:36 · 28 answers · asked by Cori 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Oh, and I don't really have any family or friends I can turn to either.
2006-12-14 00:37:35 · update #1
I am also in my middle twentys well okay late twentys :o) but I have started over from scratch about 4 months ago. I started hiding money calling it none of anybodys business money. From there I was able to rent a house buy things I knew I needed right away. It was the best decision I have made. I am happy and don't have to anybody.
2006-12-14 00:37:46 · answer #1 · answered by chrystalbryeans 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had everything a 19 year old girl could want, a nice new apartment with my boyfriend, my parents living up the road, a good job and friends, then last September I came over to the UK from Spain and knew that I didn't want the things I though. My boyfriend and I were not going to go anywhere, my job was a dead-end job and let's be honest, who wants their parents 5 mins up the road?? I moved back here last year, I had a place to stay, but apart from that nothing, no money, no friends and what is more scary no job!! A year on I do not regret a thing, I had a great job a great place to live and fab friends. I would recomend moving on and moving out or you will regret it for the rest of your life and live in deppression, which I did. You'll do great, if you have the right attitude, put yourself out there and let the would see who you really are.
2006-12-14 00:47:48 · answer #2 · answered by sophie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can do it. I personally had to do this very same thing about a year ago, And im much older then you are. I had nothing. I lost everything i owned, and had less then $100 dollars to my name. I got help to move to another state. Then got assistance from the state and county. I am now back on my own feet, in my own apartment and have furnished the whole apartment with the help of new friends, going to garage sales and thrift stores. I am very proud I was able to start from scratch and make a life of my own again at the age of 53. And this was all with being unable to work right now due to a disabilty. I am waiting for surgery to fix the problem so I can go back to work. If i can do what I did. I have faith you can do it also. Just decide where your going, pack what you can, get what money you can and go. There are many people out there everywhere to help people like you and myself.
I found out first hand.
I was in a very abusive 14 year relationship, so it was important to me both physically and mentally to get out. I hope you do the same.
Good luck
PS I also had no family or friends to help me at first. I made friends by reaching out for help. I now have several friends here in a state ive never lived in before.
2006-12-14 00:43:06 · answer #3 · answered by vicscavies 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was 19 I finnally moved out of my parents house. I was a single mother of a 1 year old baby. I did have a car but other than that just clothes and a tv. I got a job saved for a few months to put down first and last on an appartment. It was only one bedroom, so i gave my son the bedroom and made myself a studio out of the main room. I have worked hard for everything that I have now. It is very hard at first but as long as you are willing to work hard then it will be all worth it in the end. I am now 27 and own my own home. It is still a strugle from day to day but at least it is mine and I worked for it.
2006-12-14 00:44:53 · answer #4 · answered by Pebbles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have not left him yet......Wait and get all of your ducks in a row first. Find some where to live first. Don't move, just have the money saved up or if you can afford it, rent the place and slowly furnish it. That is what I did. You can get things at Good Will and thrift stores really cheap. Then when you are able you can replace them with the nicer things. After you move in worry about the little things. Try your best to get a car in your name. Tell him that you want to work on your credit rating or something to that affect. If not you can always get one at a "Buy here, Pay here" lot. Email me if you want. I went through the same thing about two years ago. I made it with three children, you can too.
2006-12-14 00:44:12 · answer #5 · answered by benndeb8 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I left my boyfriend of 6 years a few years ago. We had been having lots of stupid petty arguments about nothing and I finally had enough.
We argued about somthing on a Friday evening and then whilst he was at work on the Saturday morning I moved out! everything I could take that was mine I took, I organised a removal van to collect the rest on the Tuesday. as it happened on the Tuesday, the boyfriend wanted to see me to talk and asked me to marry him!! Bit late for that mate!
Anyway, I felt totally liberated driving away from his house, I took nothing of his and just walked away - it felt great! I owed him nothing and I was back on my own and happy without any of the petty crap going on.
You are young enough to have a fresh start and do what you need to do. And being alone is great fun, meet friend, do a sport, eat and shop when you like. Watch TV when you like, be your own person! You'll love it, independance is really good fun!
Best of luck, I'm sure you'll make the right decision, don't stay with him unless you are 100% happy though, you'll both be better off in the long run!
GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-12-14 00:41:36 · answer #6 · answered by Hunka Munka 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have lost everything I own three times and had to completely start over. Twice it was because of relationships and once because of health problems which led to money problems. The last time was just over a year ago. I have a nice little apartment and cheap but new things. I have three kids and sometimes they are bummed about the things we had to leave behind but we are all happy and doing well. I am also in my late twenty's. One of the happiest times in my life was after my ex husband and I decided to divorce. I got to do whatever I wanted (within reason, I had two kids with me). You can do it if I can with the kids. It's not bad you get to start a new life and make new friends and have new things. And maybe you will meet a man better suited to you. :) Good luck.
2006-12-14 00:42:14 · answer #7 · answered by CHARITY S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get you name down on some housing lists Explaining that you have suffered a relationship breakdown and get rehoused that way. I dont want to make it sound easy because it isn't!
But You will get there.
There is so much help out there that people wont tell you about But if you visit your local CAB office they will give you all the advice you need! as I said dont get me wrong Its not as easy as it reads. But I will be around the same age as yourself And untill Feb this year I was in exactly the same situation as you only I have 2 Children But with the right advice you can do it. Dont let him make you feel trapped.
You have got to do this for you else you will never truley be happy!!
2006-12-16 09:50:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are entitled to what ever you put into the house hold that includes time !!! you should definitely get something .. I haven't left a relationship and started from scratch but when I was 22 I left my home job everything with just 2000 Au $and 1 18kgs back pack and my dog and moved to London I got a job straight away it was crappy but it was a job .. then I got another job and again and again until now I am happy and getting paid well .. have a mortgage a husband and two lovely bassets... one of which I brought with my from Australia... you can do it .. it will be hard and you will miss things and cry and get upset and struggle .. but it will be worth it !!!! good luck ..
2006-12-14 00:40:24 · answer #9 · answered by mum 2 Cameron and Ewan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, yes I left home at nineteen, with clothes on my bank and one months pay, not a lt, got some help from council...got a decent job, bought my own house...it worked out well
you really need to decide if when you want to leave and actually do it...first you need to make living arrangements, phone your council and tell them you have no where to live, they will help you find some where, and you need to go. get your self a job, few months into your job, yu may be able to afford a small place of your own even....
It is scary honest it is, but it is worth, you will make friends wherever you go and meet new people and have new doors open up for you.
DO NOT TAKE HIS SH*T anymore
you can do it..
if you need any more adv email me
i will be happy to help
2006-12-17 10:21:45 · answer #10 · answered by vino 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋