Becoming a better person?

Question

How can I become a better person?

Answer 1

In my experience there is no specific formula or prescription for becoming a better person, but I do think there are guidelines.

It's a bit like tending a garden. It is one thing to improve the garden which you can do quickly with a good plan. But it is something altogether different to maintain the improvement. It means nothing to make yourself a better person if you cannot maintain it.

To maintain something requires staying power. You cannot have staying power if you are not motivated and the motivation cannot be superficial.

In my experience you have to discover what you love in this world. This means you have to also find what you love to do. This is the most important fuel for the heart. Duty by itself is too cold. Duty by itself can accumulate resentment which will undermine the improvement.

There can be conflict between what others want you to do and what you want to do. If that conflict is not resolved you may find yourself doing something that you don't really want to do. And you may find yourself with a person or people you don't really want to be with. This breeds resentment and impedes motivation and staying power.

So, to be a better person means you have to discover for yourself what makes you strong, happy, motivated and free. Almost nothing is worse than wearing chains that others have wrapped around you. Anger and guilt smoulder beneath the chains. The anger is the fact that others have imposed these chains on you and the guilt is the fact that in your heart you want to break those chains.

I met a woman once who was a nurse in a hospital. She went on and on about how priviliged she was helping people get over diabetes. But the more I got to know her and the more others got to know her, we soon realized that she resented her job and really wanted to do something else. But she didn't know what to do because she had not yet explored herself for herself. She was simply doing what others had advised her to do. So her soul and creative self were in fact starving.

To be a better person is a wide open garden of opportunity. You must keep an open mind and not narrow down the field too quickly with false obligation and standard formulas.

No great improvement is won without a price. Every gain is accompanied by some loss. To be a better person you have to be strong. You have to be able to stand on your own feet and hear your own instincts. You have to be able to see with your own eyes and think with your own mind. The self-respect that follows will automatically make you a better person no matter where you are. But 'better' does not necessarily mean 'easier'.

If you want to improve your 'garden' start by pruning and then add better nutrients to the soil. You cannot turn an oak into a maple, but you can make each stronger and healthier.

You cannot change your essential nature but you can improve the way that essential nature operates in this big, wide world.

Your question is one of those ultimate questions that must be renewed. The personality is the most challenging garden to tend. The vow to improve it must be renewed daily and this means fresh paths and fresh perspectives must be rediscovered daily. So, there's plenty of hope for improvement. It is easier to tend to others if you are tending to yourself properly. But it shouldn't be forced too much.

B. Lyons.

Answer 2

Well, since I do not know you personally, this is a bit hard to answer. The fact that you want to become a better person though shows me that you must have a good heart.

If you see somebody who needs help (and you are able to help them), help them.
Smile and say hello to strangers.
If you do drugs, get yourself help
Dont use people
Call up your family memebers and friends, just to say hi and chat for a bit.
Wake up every day with a positive attitude, tell yourself how fantastic the day ahead of you will be.

Answer 3

Be conscious of the garbage you create, practicing the three "r"s: reduce, reuse, recycle. Be especially conscious of any plastic you might buy; even recyclable plastic can only be recycled twice. Metal and glass are better.

Go vegan, which reduces the harm you do the environment and to animals (and to plants, funnily enough - it takes more plants to make meat than it does to make vegetables!).

Be an informed voter. Read about the candidates' positions (not just their religion, marital status, and what college they went to), and let others know of your findings.

Practice good manners and consideration of others. When you make plans, keep them, don't use sarcasm/belittling as a form of humor, and don't make excessive noise when others are trying to concentrate.

The fact that you asked this question tells me that you are already a great person at heart, with the capacity to be a great person in action. I'm really happy to know that the amount of good done in the world is about to increase.

Answer 4

Sounds like you're well on your way by even wanting to be better. Think of others first. Be responsible for your own actions. Try to think how your actions and words would make you feel if someone did them or spoke them to you. Then act or speak accordingly.

Answer 5

To become a better person is not possible by taking pills. You will have to change your thinking. You will have to learn positive approach. You will have to learn meditation. After that a lesson will start.

Change your thought and you will be changed. You are what you think.

Answer 6

Do not be greedy, look for a simple humble life, learn the values of life, and most of all do not bring harm to anyone, if not any favours, and last but the least love all and hate none.

Answer 7

Tolerance. Giving a person the benifit of the doubt.
You don't have to be a door mat for anybody. Sometimes if something or some one is bothering you, you have to be assertive and tell it like it is. Balance.

Answer 8

Go help people out...volunteer...do something nice for someone. That would make you a better person.

Answer 9

Judge less

Answer 10

Just be YOU. Respect urself and others. Control ur temper and ego. Remember not to be just a heavy load to ur motherland.... :-)