I asked my husband who this Wendy was(He said he stopped his womanising ways but something in my gut told me that once again its a smokescreen) and got told that he was sick of me.Told me move out,even though I am 7 months pregnant and because he pays the mortgage,called me a sl** for having an emotional affair that ended over 2 years ago that he continues to bring up and he's had over 7 affairs and I've always forgiven,and accused of having other men even though I don't because I felt digusted with myself the first time
My female friends are criticised and he gets nasty if I am even working with male staff.He says from today we are no longer married.I am devastated
2006-12-13 23:53:51 · 24 answers · asked by JUSEve 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry to say, but you both are at fault.. Straying once or 10 times, for me its one and the same thing. If you do it once, there's no surety, you won't do it again. Even if you don't, one can not trust and that leaves a relationship meaningless.
Now the main thing, if you both really love each other, then only there's any point in staying together. But if, as it sounds, your husband no longer loves you then its up to you if you are ready to take the humiliation and still hang on to him. He doesn't respect you, his love is dead and that's why he is doing like that. He doesn't give a damn if you stay or leave. Trust is something which once broken can't be mended.
So you have committed a sin which can't be undone. But if I would have been in your husband's place and deeply in love with you, still after your affair I won't have remained the same. Definitely I won't have left you but I could have never trusted you again.
2006-12-14 00:29:23 · answer #1 · answered by praveen_silicon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, in my opinion, you two really do not need to be together. If there have been multiple affairs, there is obviously some type of problem that isn't getting resolved. I know it is hard to leave a marriage, I have been there and done that. Neither one of you deserve to be unhappy and it seems that the best thing for you to do is to start accepting that your marriage is over. It will take time, and I understand that you are pregnant, but it really is for the best. Relationships without trust do not work. With all the affairs that have occurred, there can't possibly be any trust in this relationship. Find a counselor and get some help dealing with this, but definitely keep yourself out of the relationship.
2006-12-14 09:04:20 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What the heck, he has had 7 affairs and you had one. You may have forgiven him. But, he has not you and if by now he hasn't he is not going to. Some just like to keep that inside and blow whenever and do whatever because they think its OK, using the some old story. Tell him to learn how to deal with, that you are not going to be answering to it again. Its done Its over and to quit beating a dead horse. I bet I know what would make him feel better "another affair" tell him to go for it. But he will have to do it somewhere else but not in your house. If you leave now, it will be difficult to move back in. put up with his stupid stuff and give some back . make him move out. You both need to make a decision now. if you plan on tiring please seek outside professional help.
2006-12-14 11:49:42 · answer #3 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Shame, I do feel for you, but at the end of the day you need to think about yourself now and your unborn baby. If he can give you an ultimatium in your condition then he is an evil man. You tell him girl, that yes you agree, the marriage is over, but unfortunately YOU are the one that is leaving, as I have to make a home for our child! Don't let him make you find new accomodation etc .... you stay put, and he must go. Double standards he has ... and is obviously feeling guilty hence the retaliation!! Stand strong ... you have a wonderful new baby to think about and quite frankly your husband is a spiteful man, as he should be with you espcially now! You win girl!! You take this opportunity to your benefit! You will get over it, and there isnothing worse than being saddled with a womanising male! They just never grow up! Legal wise, you are entitled to alimony!! Get yourself a lawyer, phone social and they will give you one on legal aid!! Don't take this at his word. You fight for whats best for you and your baby!! Goodluck
2006-12-14 08:01:56 · answer #4 · answered by lynne 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He can't throw you out, even if he is paying the mortgage.
See a lawyer as soon as you can.
You need to divorce this pr*ck and get as much of his money as you can.
Given that you're pregnant the court would very likely give you the house (though that only helps if you can afford the mortgage - but remember he'll have to give financial support to you and the baby).
What an a*sehole. Hope everything goes well for you. You deserve better than this.
2006-12-14 08:00:22 · answer #5 · answered by mcfifi 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well here in the U.S. he can't make you move out of the family home if you are pregnant/have kids no matter WHO pays the mortgage. Here in the U.S. there are things such as marital assets and community property, the family home is a marital asset and just because he pays the mortgage doesn't mean he alone "owns" it. You are, as his spouse part owner whether you put any money into the home or not. So first thing you need to do is get yourself a lawyer.
2006-12-14 08:46:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
That's very strange that an ultimatum would come from that - unless of course you are constantly on about it and he's just sick of being accused????
Do you really want to be with someone who has had over 7 affairs, and sounds like he could be having another now??
I think you should take this time to reflect on how you really feel and whether you need this guy in your life.
2006-12-14 07:59:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is a low life cheat, and sounds like he is still cheating, if I was you, pregnant or not, I would kick his *** to the curb. 7 affairs? And you are still with him? And you let yourself get pregnant for someone who cheated on you that many times?You are the kind of woman who makes all women look bad, this nonsense just pisses me off, why would anyone with half a clue let some man treat her this way and stick around for more. I live by one rule, no second chances, not a one. Screw up and out the door, girl, you need to get some back bone and get rid of that loser. Who knows what he is bringing home to you, remember, who he sleeps with you sleep with, meaning, if he catches something like HIV, it is brought home to you. And what kind of life style is this to raise a child in? WOW, I can't imagine any woman putting up with this nonsense. Don't be devastated, say thank you and be thankful you are getting rid of the loser. Then you have a chance of meeting a real man, instead of the mouse you have now.
2006-12-14 08:19:55 · answer #8 · answered by newfie272 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Listen, you are in a vulnerable state right now. You have no reason to be devastated. You do not need to be married to someone that has strayed 7 times! Yuo & your child deserve better! One door closes & another opens. Look to the future; not the past. Move on & make a better life for yourself!
2006-12-14 07:58:10 · answer #9 · answered by pr1ncezz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is cheating on u, and just doesn't want to be confronted, so he turns it onto u. he is looking for ways to leave, by picking fights, and being unreasonable. make him move out instead. when my ex told me to leave, found out later that he was having an affair, how convienant for his girlfriend, had i left my hom, as she would have moved right in. he sounds like he is with someone else, and wants u to just go away. stop forgiving him, as he will never change, and everytime u catch him he will turn it all around and make u the problem, and accuse u of what he himself is doing.
2006-12-14 12:32:10 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋