Why is it that some people go in thinking after the wedding everything will be happily ever after?Is this the reason for the high divorce rate?
2006-12-13 23:42:54 · 12 answers · asked by Kelly V 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have been married almost 12 years and i am a wedding planner so i see a lot of people particularly young people go in thinking its going to be a fairytale or like a sit com?
2006-12-13 23:48:17 · update #1
I cant beilieve nor can i understand why in this day in age people still think this way?
2006-12-13 23:56:11 · update #2
Some people have the misunderstanding that marriage should be 50-50. What they fail to realize is that they're giving half. If they want that marriage to work, they're going to have to give it
100-100, their all.
2006-12-13 23:46:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think part of it comes from our education. Nobody teaches you the rules of a relationship. You learn it by yourself.
If you are lucky to have parents who live together, you might have never see them fight or make compromise, and they might not have thought to tell you that it takes work.
If your parents got divorced you might be more realistic.
Fairy tales don't help either. They always end up with the characaters getting married and living happily ever after, not exactly a reality life lesson, same for movies, they rarely show the real struggles and compromises you have to make.
A lot of people think that love is enough and when they think marriage, they think wedding day (which is only the beginning really). If they lived together before, they might know better, but not always.
It's a cultural thing, the way people talk about it, getting married is like the peak of a realtionship. So a lot of couples forget that the real work is after...
As for divorce... If they never thought about what they'll have to go through as a married couple, think about children, work, dealing with financial struggles, yeah it probably has to do with it, they took things for granted and though they wouldn't have to make any efforts anymore.
2006-12-14 11:19:58 · answer #2 · answered by Pyrene 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things certainly do change after the wedding vows for some reason. Look at the couples that live together for years, and as soon as they get married, they're divorced within a year to a few months! Now THAT"S weird...
2006-12-14 07:49:48 · answer #3 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You make a good point. Marriage (or even a de facto relationship) isn't all rainbows and lollypops. Still, I think that if you're with the right person, it should take some work, but not *hard* work. My man and I are at peace with each other and co-exist without it being a struggle. The work is keeping outside elements (like work and family, etc.) where they belong, i.e. outside your relationship, so you can focus on each other. That's where we have to make the effort.
2006-12-14 08:05:10 · answer #4 · answered by The Mad Shillelagh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Several men have told me that they personally believe that if you have to work at it or even think too hard about it then it isn't love and it's time to go. Also that if you fall out of love for even a second it never was really love. I have no idea how many people feel this way but it doesn't leave a person much to work with.
2006-12-14 08:04:29 · answer #5 · answered by DJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own questions. Marriage is something you have to work hard at. It is also true that you do not "know" someone until you live with them. I guess the reason we have such a high divorce rate is because people are somewhat delusion as to what the real world is.
2006-12-14 07:53:26 · answer #6 · answered by rosey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is because they read too many fairy tales as a kid and no one took them aside and said, hey, you know what, marriage is a lot of work, love does not conquer all and you need to be more realistic and less idealistic. The other problem I think is that people do not put enough time into the relationship beforehand, thinking that just because they love the person they should get married, totally ignoring religion, compatability, goals, personality types etc....
2006-12-14 07:47:48 · answer #7 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason for the high divorce rate is people get married for the wrong reasons. Society and the Goverment want people to get married, look at the tax code, the problem is, people chnage their minds, their feelings change, things change.
2006-12-14 07:47:36 · answer #8 · answered by mrfoxhorn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have been married for 18 years. You have to make adjustments, but I would not call it hard work. I think ones love for another makes the adjustments much easier, more like a labor of love.
2006-12-14 07:55:09 · answer #9 · answered by Alexandra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my God! I've been married for less than 2 years...my husband and I have been fighting since the day we met! It's a constant struggle and A LOT OF HARD WORK!!!!!
2006-12-14 07:45:16 · answer #10 · answered by INC0GNIT0 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋