what do i do, we have been together for 9 yrs and he knows that getting off looking at other woman really upsets me so why does he do this. not the first time this has happened and he swore to me it would never happen again. i moved out the first time and he tried everything in his power to prove to me that he wouldn't do it again and he was sorry for doing it. and that he loved me very much and he only wanted me. but however he has done it again. WHAT SHOULD I DO? i love him so much and could'nt imagine life without him. we were trying for a baby for about 5-6 years and were meant to be starting fertility treatment at the end of october which i have now cancelled, as i caught him masterbating on the 18th and we had only made love about 10 times in the past 4 months. i asked him to make love on the monday before hand and he said NO cause he was watching something on tv. and he then told me that he has ejaculated only the once, which was that monday, this was my most fertile day.
2006-12-13 23:25:32 · 18 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
this is very natural.
tell him to make a roaster to watch it and just two or three times a week not more then this.
try to bring him little bit down to it.
2006-12-19 15:26:46 · answer #1 · answered by dadjone 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I can understand where you are coming from as my partner is the same. Although I have never caught him, I found the evidence alright. The thing that kills it I was waiting to have our second son. It reach as far as him downloading stuff from the internet. I soon put a stop to that one by putting passwords on the computer. Trust me I was heart broken, I as felt that I was not pleasing him. But after thinking about, I am not pleaseing him because half of the stuff on them things, I would not entertain. Besides that he is not cheating so I'll just let him have is fun, as long as he knows that he cannot act out any of that s~~~ with me. All man do these things. I am only sadden that it have taken me so long to realise.
As for you partner, he appears to be in a world of his own. R you sure he wants a baby? Sometimes when trying for a baby like the way you say, it gets a bit too clinical and it put man off, as it takes the fun out of it becoming a ' come on we must do it before it too late' thing. Try a different approach- when you know your fertile on a certain day, try a romantic dinner with a very speacial afters- that might get him in the mood. Try not to get too stress and this will not help the situation!
2006-12-20 01:46:21 · answer #2 · answered by fire 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Look hun i know exactly how you feel. It doesn't matter how many people tell you it is normal etc etc it will never be in your eyes. I honestly am feeling the same as you. Apparently we are supposed to accept it. I do believe that it does come down to insecurities that we both have, the problem is trying to get over these. I have been with my partner for 4 1/2 years and have 1 child and 1 on the way. So its serious. I am so frightened of pushing my partner away but i just cant seem to accept the porn thing. I have no prob with masturbating but why cant he masturbate over me why somebody else. I think at the end of the day we have both got to try and get over it maybe get some help. I know how you feel though hun and its crap i know. I just wish i could accept it like all of the others here.
2006-12-21 11:26:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl i understand how you feel dont leave him because the porn try an talk to him again. my bf watches porn an when ever i find out it breaks my heart and i honestly i wont have sex for a while. if he doesnt listen well does he really love you if he keeps doing it. i spoke to my fiancee about it too he has really cut down were not trying for a baby yet but he will not do it or at least in front of me anyway....... Goodluck i hope you manage to sort this situation out?
2006-12-16 08:51:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem - bf getting off with porno. My solution was to regulate him strictly: Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays only. Then I'd make sure he knew as much about the unsavoury side of the porn industry as possible - ie I'd talk about how most of the women were drug addicts, were often bedded by directors (who were fat and old) in order to get jobs etc. Tell him about the correlelation between porn and rape, sexual abuse and so on.
He soon became impotent - so in a way I solve the problem....
2006-12-21 10:18:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds an awful lot like you are pressuring the crap out of this poor guy, making him account for every ejaculation ??? that's his business, what is he some kind of seed bull?
Frankly its no surprise he prefers a swift one rather than all the hassle you represent at present, you sound a right self obsessed moaner.
I`m sure you re not though, just chill out and leave him be, he has a right to do as he pleases.
PS tell him he owes me a pint.
2006-12-16 11:12:37 · answer #6 · answered by bletherskyte 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You seem to be putting him under a lot of pressure - one way for a guy to release that pressure is masturbation ( if you don't like it don't look) either that or get him a mountain bike.
Most heterosexual guys will look at woman, it is a male thing and an ego booster for them if they get checked over. He is with you -not them!! (looking not touching)
Are you saying that you have never looked at a hunk walking past, appreciating, but not wanting to touch.
Speak to a counsellor - you sound as if you lack a lot of confidence in yourself
Your guy loves you - don't ruin that with your insecurities
Good luck and be brave - he sounds like a normal male
2006-12-18 08:24:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
is he addicted???? a lot of blokes do it - I know my x did, wasnt really my thing, told him despite his requests that I wasnt watching any ot if! then he started to act out the things he'd seen on the screen - he never said , but I knew, I put a stop to that,but in a nice way, dont really like my guy doing that - but id rather he did that than got another woman. We're not together anymore, but I know he was searching for another version of me in his new girlfriend, I also know someone else cant do my technique, still she can do the deep throat and swallow - ill stick to flavoured condoms instead!
2006-12-18 12:02:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
you must be joking, every bloke alive has a pull to a porno, its the nature of the beast, instead of whinging about it join in, the best fertility programme in the world is passion, forget most fertile times just do it every day morning & night. If its meant to be itll happen naturally.
2006-12-21 09:56:20 · answer #9 · answered by Because I Said So 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
what is the harm ? if he gets off on watching something that he finds disgusting as well as exciting is it not better than doing this with somebody else.you are obviously perturbed by this but why is he doing it is your sex life down because he watches porn or is he respecting you and knows you dont like it just a suggestion if you love him as you say you do why not distract him from the porn by being a bit more seducive yourself if you cant beat em join em what harm are you doing between yourselves
2006-12-20 08:31:58 · answer #10 · answered by Ken M 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you are wasting you time as you are both walking down different streets at the moment.
It would help if you if you were obviously on the same street and able to really talk 'with' each other.
But, I strongly suspect that he is going along with the statuesque because 'you want children'.....
Are there two agendas there?
He may well have the same agenda as you, but then 'sex,' as opposed to love-making and baby-making, are not the same thing.
As for what you want / ask of him on your fertile days ~ as opposed to his reasoning for not complying....!
Sorry, but two different streets.
Best of luck.
Sash.
2006-12-16 10:47:27 · answer #11 · answered by sashtou 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋