My ex (12 years marries) found a man on the internet and moved interstate to be with him taking our four kids. I went to court and got them back and now us five men all live together. She chose to stay there with the boyfriend and has seen them for less than 10 days in the last two years. Ages (5,7,9,10) - Can a mother do that and be normal?
2006-12-13 23:20:40 · 16 answers · asked by Pilgrim 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We were 23(me) and 21(her) when we married.
2006-12-13 23:40:20 · update #1
Maybe not now, maybe not for a few years, but one day when those children are all grown up she will regret it, not seeing her kids grow up, not being their at their birthday or at christmas, or when they fall off their bike and have a boo-boo!
Maybe your kids are better off without her if this is how she has acted. I am sure you are a good role model for the kids, and will always be there for them. As long as they have you they will be fine in the long run.
2006-12-13 23:29:27 · answer #1 · answered by Mama~peapod 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the person. Maybe she feels that they are better without her interfering with what you have going on with them. I am not sure if it is normal. I am a mother my son is 30 now there is no way as a child I could have been away from him. But think about it like this if she is staying away then maybe it is better that she is. Never talk bad about her to your kids they will form there own opinion as they get older just love them and keep them safe and if she does not want to be there it is her loss. My son only seen his father maybe 10 times in 15 years and after that he has never seen him. The other day he told me he wishes he could find him father and laugh at him and tell him look what your missing. I never told him anything bad about his dad but he figured it out. I kept him very busy when he was young with sports and my family so he was very loved and that is what they need. He is now 30 and has a wife and 3 kids of his own it did not hurt him at all in the long run. Stay strong and leave her to make her own bed. Good Luck I know how hard it is for you.....
2006-12-14 07:29:09 · answer #2 · answered by Virginia B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think a normal mother would never be away from her kids, I know I am a mom and there is no hell or high water that would keep me away from my daughter. I don't think it is normal, sounds like she is thinking more of her own needs then her kids. If her boyfriend is important to her why did they not move to where the kids are living, then she could keep the boyfriend and the kids. I mean, she could maintain relationships with the kids while being with the new man. Are you still in love with her? If you are sounds like you should move on also, sounds like you need to find someone for yourself, and be happy. You are a good dad, but you need to have a life also.
2006-12-14 08:26:19 · answer #3 · answered by newfie272 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so...she's obviously got some issues. I once went on a short trip to Tampa ( from Michigan) with my sister for four days to visit our mother who was going through chemotherapy and left the kids behind with my husband, and it was the most difficult four days I've ever had! I could not sleep at night, it just felt "wrong" to be so far away from them. I could never abandon them, and I just don't understand how any mother could do that without there being something chemically or mentally haywire.
2006-12-14 07:25:05 · answer #4 · answered by freyas_kin28 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she can't handle both sides of her life right now, I think you have to give some leeway, not knowing at what age you were married and started your family ... maybe the growing up she didn't do when you started out is taking place now. Some aren't really cut out for the job, would you rather the kids know a resentful mom and have to be around that.
2006-12-14 07:35:07 · answer #5 · answered by Chele 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure that is how the mothers of animals do it.
Its not usually a human trait.
Any mother who would let the children get away without a fight is not much a parent. That goes for fathers as well.
I applaud your effort to keep your children and keep them away from the lying cheating woman . Children do not need to live like that. Stay on the high road.
Sue for child support.
2006-12-14 07:31:10 · answer #6 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, let's flip it around. Suppose a male parent chose to just bail on his kids and see them less than 10 days in two years. I wouldn't call him a father, much less a dad...he'd be a sperm donor.
Applying similar logic to your ex, I would be forced to conclude that she is an egg donor.
You, however, are a dad. You won't regret it.
Sincerely,
A fellow dad
2006-12-14 07:31:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO IT'S NOT NORMAL AND IM SORRY YOUR KIDS HAVE TO GO TROUGH SOMETHING LIKE THAT.. TWO YEARS? NOPE NOT NORMAL AT ALL... MY ADVICE IS TO TRY TO KEEP YOUR KIDS AWAY FROM COMMENTS THAT PEOPLE MIGHT HAVE ABOUT THIS SITUATION SO THEY WONT FEEL ABANDONED THIS FEELING CAN CAUSE MAJOR MENTAL PROBLEMS SUCH AS DEPRESSION OR BAD BEHAVIOR.. TELL YOUR KIDS ANYTHING ELSE BUT THE TRUTH.. PROTECT THEM AND TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM AND WILL NEVER LEAVE THEM.DO FUN THINGS AND DONT ACT BITTER IN FRONT OF THEM SO THEY WONT BE EITHER. GOOD LUCK DAD. THE WORLD NEED MORE MEN LIKE YOU.
2006-12-14 07:50:47 · answer #8 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems that some women just don't have the mothering gene. I could never do that for any reason, but men and women do it all the time. But I applaud you for being a good Dad and fighting for your children.
2006-12-14 07:26:22 · answer #9 · answered by voidtillnow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well yeah actually she already did, but i don't think she is normal at all, i mean i'm sure even if she smiles her heart still wants to see you and ofcourse your children. let me tell you this people who leave their love ones, they always cry (hehe) they miss their loveones, anyway you should do something especially if your kids wants to see their mom, i know its hard but, its the best thing you could do maybe for your kids! Have a Happy Family......
2006-12-14 07:29:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋