I have been married for 10 years.This whole past year we have been seperated. sold house he paid child support. We agreed to do this as we both fell out of love with each other. after the first few months he tried to come back. i said no.Then the last few months i tried to come back. he has said no. Last week. i told him i dont want to do this.he kissed me but asked me not to tell anyone. cause he is still confused and wants to make up his mind without everyone elses opinions. We kissed over and over several times.he even cried and told me to feel his heart cause he was so nervous.The next day i tried to tell him i thought he still loved me cause of his reactions and i didnt know what he had to think about.He said there are lots of emotions there.he will let me know.I am driving myself insane thinking all sorts of things.does it sound like he wants to get back? or he is just too scared to tell me no? Please help. Im so confused.
2006-12-13 22:12:34 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The whole thing with asking me not to tell anyone. is that what was OUR group of friends. became his group of friends. i think he is not so sure of thier opinion as dumb as that sounds. As far as I know. he does not have a girl friend. but A little after we broke up, His ex. from 10 years ago found out and they met up. Apprently there was no sex just kissing and talking sort of stuff. she wanted more, he also told her it was too soon. he was confused. but then evenually he just stopped talking to her. I am not really mad about that, cause we were apart and no talks of getting together, but I am just confused. since its kinda the same he is doing me. I just think if I give him too much time, he will choose to keep things the way they are. I know i dont need to get so worked up. Its just a very emotional time. Its only been 4 days and I want to know if he has made a decision. How long is good enough to wait before i try again? oh this is just nuts. i feel so immature lol :)
2006-12-13 22:12:59 · update #1
we basically seperated cause our excuse was we fell out of love for each other. but after all said and done, it was because I let myself build up walls so when he tried to love me, i just pushed him away. My reasoning behined this was to give him what i thought he wanted. freedom. to do what he wanted when he wanted. and we would still be friends. well friends is ok. sometimes. but there are just soo many emotions there esp where my daughter is concerned. and when she is upset. of course i am going to get upset. I just have not got a clue. The "old" me would just say. forget it. and move on. but the "new" me with my emotions on my sleeve wants to wait and wait and wait. I guess im still so stumped over the him crying when we kissed. to me that really means that he loves me. or thats what i believe :)
2006-12-13 22:13:27 · update #2
WHAT DO YOU THINK HIS CHOICE WILL BE? TOGETHER OR SEPERATE?
2006-12-13 23:30:38 · update #3
Wow.....it sounds to me like you both still love each other....perhaps some counseling would help the two of you sort out your feelings and help you get back on track. You are very conflicted about things and he probably is too....also sounds like he might be a little embarrassed about the back and forth...may have told people it was totally over and perhaps shared info that makes him feel that people will think badly of him if he gets back together....you need to get beyond that....people today are just too quick to split up and too reluctant to take advantage of the help that is available....a good marriage doesn't just happen...it takes work, commitment, open communication about feelings etc. you have a child and she is obviously affected by all of this.....Talk to him, try to get some help and try to make this work....you owe that much to each other and to your daughter....good luck to all of you....I hope you can figure it out
2006-12-13 22:25:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He still loves you
You love him too
dont go making it public like he asked you not to.
Give him time to sort out his feelings.
He will come back
Just keep the line of communication open.
Its normal for you to be so emotional especially if no other man is singing songs to you yet.
Get your self together, dont go nuts.
Its gonna get better,maybe on xmas day.
And both of you shoul keep whatever committee of friends out of all this.
2006-12-14 06:43:51 · answer #2 · answered by lace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a job for a licensed professional therapist. Best wishes to you all.
2006-12-14 06:24:38 · answer #3 · answered by bill a 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's not scared! He wants you to know he still cares about you but isn't ready to get back into being committed.
2006-12-14 06:22:00 · answer #4 · answered by UseMyAnswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confused and scared, probably.
2006-12-14 07:24:23 · answer #5 · answered by Jack P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u guys need to sit down and talk it over....mayb counselling should help u...
2006-12-14 06:17:14 · answer #6 · answered by pembanboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
scared.
2006-12-14 06:15:33 · answer #7 · answered by Nikki W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋