ok. Please dont judge, because I know some will, and im not looking for that.
Since my husband and I got married, it has been nothing but hell. He was mentally and physically abusive, very controlling over everything I did. My husband used to have a drug problem, but told me he had quite. Two years went by, and I recently find out he's still using. I was so depressed, one night I ended up using with him, and to say the least I had an anxiety attack and ended up in the hospital for the weekend. We also have a 2 yr old son together.
When I got out of the hospital, I did alot of thinking, and felt for the sake of our son, and myself, it was not healthy for us to be together. We tried working out a schedule, but he said himself he had not planned on giving my son back to me when his visitations would be over.
I got a parenting plan and filed for divorce. Ive been going to counceling, im clean, working, doing everything I can.
2006-12-13 21:21:45 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the weekend he was late, and left early for visitation (i requested supervised visitations due to the drug issues). Monday he never showed. He claims the papers mean nothing.
Tonight I get home from work, and he had shoved my mom into the wall to get in the house to my son. His dad threw a restraining order at my mom (which he filed against me apparently to protect me from my son). They were NOT served to me. The cops were called, and he was arrested for burglary and assault on my mother, and pushing his way into the house.
The cops said I needed to get a lawyer because once hes out of jail he could come back with the papers
Hes trying to claim im on drugs, and have been for a long time (and i havent) and that he has no clue where im living (im living with my parents and he knows that). Hes a convicted felon as it is from before we got together, and I fear he will take my son, and I honestly dont think hes clean.
Does anyone have any advice?
2006-12-13 21:25:07 · update #1
also, hes trying to claim i asked him for drugs a few days ago... LOL.. which never happened. And he refuses to let me have anything in the house. Hes not taking care of our sons turtle (which is prob. dead by now) and hasnt gotten the cat cat food in a few weeks.
He wont even give me any of our sons belongings, and claims he did the restraining order because im using our son as a tool. Ive been more then willing to let him come see our son, but i feel its best with supervised visitations with my parents here at the time.
Also, my mother went to serve him the parenting plan earlier this week, and she said his house smelt of dope.
He went to church one sunday and claims hes a new man. Hes acting like he wasnt doing drugs with me that night i ended up in the hospital (although he admitted to it on the 911 tape).
I fear he will take my son from me.
2006-12-13 21:29:00 · update #2
and i am seeing a drug councler (although I did drugs that one night, im still seeing one for the sake of my son) who is UAing me every week, so there is no issues with that.
2006-12-13 21:31:15 · update #3
Get a lawyer and you both should have to take drug tests every month or neither of you should be with the boy.
Oh...don't blame your husband for your own drug use unless he shoved it down your mouth. You are JUST AS GUILTY as he is for using drugs. He chose to use just like you did.
2006-12-13 21:26:47 · answer #1 · answered by catnrawdog75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing I would do is contact an attorney.I would set up supervised visitation at a "parent center" or somewhere other than with your parents...call your local Friend of the Court and ask them about somewhere to have supervised visits.Here in michigan we have the Child/Parent Center.This will also alleviate his wanting to disregard what the orders say.i would get a restraining order/personal protection order against him.Do this while he is in jail...they will serve him while he is there.Try to set upi the visitation while he is there also.
Make a list of things that you want (household items etc)give that to your lawyer.
Agree to submit to drug testing for yourself and ask them to make him take drug tests.
Keep doing what you are doing to better your life.This will also help your child.Have as little contact with the husband as possible.Keep your chin up..it will be a long road to travel,but will get better as time goes on.
I left an abusive man and life has never been better.Good Luck!!!
2006-12-13 22:06:56 · answer #2 · answered by justme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
35 years ago a lady I admire left an abusive marraige with 5 kids and a greyhound bus ticket. She was the firdt to graduate from high school in her family, she began working 2 jobs to support her kids. She lived in a rural part of Kansas City Missouri so that her kids would have a decent education. Now she has 6 grandchildren 4 of 5 happily married children all college educated, she retired and takes care of her mother who helped save her life. I asked my mom, what was the turning point? She stated she looked at us one night and decided that if she did not do something different then we would have no mother and would think this is ok. My mother is now reaping the rewards of leaving a turbulent marraige. You are on the right track, surround yourself with family and friends who will be there for you. Record your husbands threats and then seek advice from your local National Domestic Violence Abuse Advocacy center. Stay strong in your faith and remember you will reap the benefits of your good deeds. Peace be with you.
2006-12-13 21:33:09 · answer #3 · answered by Tonne B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you've done everything right this time and it's great that you are choosing to take care of you and your child first. You should seek advise from a lawyer about your husband , his behaviour and visiting rights. You may need to get a restraining order against him if you are still afraid of him hurting you or taking your child. Good Luck to you.
2006-12-13 21:27:33 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear! I think you've got the wrong leg of the horse, Jack. I reckon she means you are not to play with Valentine. Maybe you'll just have to sit in a corner and play with whatever comes to hand.
2016-05-24 00:56:31 · answer #5 · answered by Sandra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! what a mess that is. your son deserves two parents. his father should clean up his act for his son, if not for his own good. get a lawyer to protect your interests. volunteer to get drug tested. it will be a good step for court. good luck.
2006-12-13 22:09:00 · answer #6 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HONEY DONT LET HIM FOOL YOU. GET A ATTORNEY GO AHEAD WITH THE DIVORICE OFFER TO TAKE A DRUG TEST USING THE HAIR. DONT LET HIM HAVE THAT BOY. I HAD TO DO IT MYSELF, NOW HE IS CLEAN AND THE BEST DAD IN THE WORLD. FIGHT HARD IF YOU NEED HELP FIND AWAY TO GET AHOLD OF ME I WILL HELP ANY WAY I CAN. DONT GIVE UP, YOUR SON NEEDS YOU.
2006-12-13 21:55:27 · answer #7 · answered by AMY W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take good care! All I can say is that the best you can do is to pray for you, your husband, your child. You're family, try to understand that nowhere is better, pray for yours, please! May God help you with what you need best!
2006-12-13 21:27:27 · answer #8 · answered by tatal_nostru2006 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's such a slime...
you r doing the right thing....
and if u need more help...
write to OPRAH....
2006-12-13 22:11:47 · answer #9 · answered by richard k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well just keep going to counseling is he go to counseling just maybe you can get your son back may God bless you
2006-12-13 21:30:36 · answer #10 · answered by EVA J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋