I need some advice. Ive been with my bf for almost 5 yrs but am starting to feel unhappy with us. I have just?

Question

had a reoccurence of depression and have also been diagnosed with anxiety so i dont know if my feelings are real or not. I am feeling like im tired of us, we have so many problems and we're just so different i feel we will break up unless he grows up. but i really want it to work so does that mean i dont want to break up? I just want these thoughts to go out of my head. We are also going overseas for 2 months in the new yr and since we booked it 6 mths ago ive been feeling like im stuck, because even though there wasnt a problem i knew i couldnt go anywhere coz were going away together. now im questioning if i ever loved him or if he just made me feel loved, as my self esteem is sooo low. how do u tell? i want us to be together can i fix this?

had a reoccurence of depression and have also been diagnosed with anxiety so i dont know if my feelings are real or not. I am feeling like im tired of us, we have so many problems and we're just so different i feel we will break up unless he grows up. but i really want it to work so does that mean i dont want to break up? I just want these thoughts to go out of my head. We are also going overseas for 2 months in the new yr and since we booked it 6 mths ago ive been feeling like im stuck, because even though there wasnt a problem i knew i couldnt go anywhere coz were going away together. now im questioning if i ever loved him or if he just made me feel loved, as my self esteem is sooo low. how do u tell? i want us to be together can i fix this?

I still havent worked out how to get thru to him. when i tell him this stuff we go in a circle, bc i say it, he doesnt listen and says i nag him. i do only due to saying it so many times. but he does love me he just wont realise its so serious

And i've tried being honest and saying i think we could break up etc but he just sees that as me threatening hime to do things my way and gets mad, but all im trying to do is make him see how desperate i am. i want him to wake up and realise this is it, but he doesnt get it.

oh yeah and we have just a week ago come out of a 6 week break which i asked for. we had a break last yr same amt of time which he asked for and i felt awful the whole time, so miserable. this time i felt worse about us during the break. i didnt have any doubts about us until then.

Answer 1

talk to him, tell him what u want, and go see a psychiatrist

Answer 2

first of all, sugar, i am so sorry to hear about your situation. but the thing is, do you really want to be with him because you love him and want to spend time with him, or do you want to be with him because you don't want to admit you have spent 5 years with a guy who turns out not to be the right one.

just from hearing from your side, you don't seem happy with him, i would suggest you both sit down and have a mature talk about what went wrong, you should tell him how you feel, if you think he is not mature enough, you should let him know and work out a way to make the relationship work. if he loves you, and want the same thing as you, you guys will work it out.

don't worry about the get away trip too much, just relax and enjoy it, maybe a little get away together is just what you need to heat up the relationship again. so just don't worry and enjoy the trip, if you think 2 months away with him is too much, then cut it short, suggest some different activities to do for the two of you, you are going away together, but that doesn't mean you have to stick together for 2 whole months right?

so before you get upset, think about the bright side. and you should talk to someone about what's bothering you. if there is no one around to talk to, you are welcomed to email me =)

good luck sugar =)

Answer 3

i guess you should wait till the trip, he could totally revive your relationship by doing or saying something sooo romantic. you have been in the relationship a long time and i'm sure it is feeling stale. decide after your trip if you want a break or not. he may just be thinking that he's missing out on this great life being single or something. i'm sure he'll come around though because life is not so great and a fairy tale. you know, the grass always looks greener from the other side. when he comes back, all those problems may disappear because he'll realize what he's missing out on.

Answer 4

Its all about how you approach him when you are discussing it...Don't use terms like you this or you that make it more like we this and we that. You have to tell him in a calm voice and when the time is right ...There is a lot more chance of him listening to you if you are calm about it. Just say darling we are starting to lose our spark, maybe we should start to try and improve our relationship a bit before we start to fall apart from each other. I am not in the position to be giving relationship advice so just use this as a rough guideline. I am single so maybe you shouldn't listen to me i don't have much luck with my relationships. there u go anyway good luck
Merry-xmas

Answer 5

I study the entire element and it did not get any more effective on the end than it replaced into on the initiating. You had his decision the first nighttime you slept with him and also you let him pull one over on you good there and he's been doing it ever when you consider that. he's not something yet undesirable information and is going to proceed to be that way for whoever finally ends up with him. in case you imagine he's undesirable now, do not get him right into a wedding ceremony, this in no way receives more effective, it in problem-free words receives worse. on the instantaneous he's utilizing you and he's acquainted with a thanks to play you okay. in case you do not unload him so that you'll concentration on your baby who somewhat needs a at the same time as and ability, you'd be so sorry. i does no longer choose someone who has subsidized out of motives to get married, yet before I actually were given there i'd have shown any pig who had to dishonor me by calling me fat and different issues, the door. he's broken you so undesirable that you're feeling you'll have him to live to inform the tale. spoil out of it and bypass on.

Answer 6

it`s a pretty sticky situation...first and first of all what i think u need 2 do is 2 figure it out 4 yourself whether u wanna stay with him or not. i know it`s easier said than done, but if u don`t feel happy with him, if u feel like it would be better for u without him and/or u just don`t love him (anymore), u need 2 end it, since talking it over with him doesn`t do any good. staying with him would be unfair twords him: cuz if u aren`t happy and u feel stuck/trapped, sooner or later u will get enough of it and u will end it anyway, so until u do u`d only be giving him false hope&also u`d b wasting his time, time in which he could be getting over u, going on with his life, starting over, etc
AND it would only be torture for the both of u: 4 u Bcuz u aren`t happy and u feel stuck/trapped and for him, Bcuz he can feel it if u don`t love him (anymore) and that feeling suxx big time, 2 know that u r with smbody for so long, u love them to death, but they don`t feel the same...
all i can say is: try to make up your mind what u want and only stay with him if u have worked out this problem, if u managed to stop having doubts and u feel happy with him again...
PS: going away together might do u both good....it always wors for me and my bf, we always manage to work out all our differences if we go away together smwhere...
PPS: have u considered asking for a break until u can figure out what u wanna do? being away from him 4 a while might also help...
good luck!

Answer 7

you need to seek counselling and also you need to talk to him and make him understand how you feel. he will do everything to make you happy and lessen your problems. I go through a phase like that once in a while but i love my bf to pieces and i know deep down that i will not live without him, but sometimes when i am too stressed i feel like crying and move on with my life.

Answer 8

I think you are unhappy and don't know how to find your way out. I know it's hard and you probably don't want to be on your own but if it was me I would rather be on my own and happy than with someone that was making me depressed and unhappy. I hope this helps you.

luv to ya Kimmy

Answer 9

try counseling if you really feel you want to carry on with him. but if you feel in your heart its not the right person your with then be honest and move on . but you do need to talk.

good luck

Make it your new years resolution to make life better for some one less fortunate.

Answer 10

It's very important to start praying! Prayers can help, please try to go to church together, have those quiet moments! May God help you with what you need best!