After a year she had affair, lied about a job that didnt exist, claimed she was in univ. but she wasn't. I left her then. I missed her, she claimed she had new job (also didn't exist I recently discovered) and we started to meet casually, including sex. She had lost friends and was bored at her mom's, I think she was meeting out of convienience, also she didn't want relationship then. Now we discovered she's pregnant, she started to live with me, and we were "together. I set the condition of she get a job of some kind rather than sit and watch tv, and not one more lie. She does some housework( minimum unless I ask for something), she is looking but still no job. She says she will return to univ in feb, but baby is due in June, so I have doubts. She has no money, few posessions She chronically lied before and doesn't admit when caught. I caught her in another one yesterday. I am never married and really want a family. She frustrates me. Should I send her back to her mom or keep trying?
2006-12-13 20:08:26 · 22 answers · asked by Nick N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, due to her history of lying, Id get a paternal test done to make sure youre the father. It may cost you now for the test but itll definitely save you alot of money and grief later. If the baby is yours then you might try working things out, but if not then you have your answer spelled out for you. This girl is all wrong for you and this relationship has disaster spelled all over it and youre not happy either so if it werent for the baby, Id send her back til she grew up. Good luck and Merry Christmas
2006-12-13 20:18:27 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off are you sure the baby is yours? She has cheated and can't tell the truth, you may want to check on that.
Also how can you trust her completely? She won't even tell you the truth about a job.
Can you live like this just because you want a family? You can find someone out there that will be truthful, loving and faithful but you have to let the losers go first.
Even if the baby is yours you can still be a good father and not be with her.
Take care, good luck and congrats on the baby.
2006-12-13 20:16:35 · answer #2 · answered by LC 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off, if you knew all of this about her before, then why in this world weren't you guys taken some kind of precautions to keep from having a baby, sounds to me like you both are a little immature... second, you now have not only the problems that she seems to be "causing" for you to worry about, you also have a baby to worry about. Its time to either try to work things out and grow up, or start talking when you will get visitations to the child and move on.
2006-12-13 20:13:56 · answer #3 · answered by emtb9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all...How do u know the baby's yours. YES you need to tell that girl to take a hike BUT you know dang well you're not going to until your ready..and NO ONE including me is going to convince you otherwise. GOOD LUCK...especially if the baby is yours....Regardless; you can still be a great single parent. Ive been divorced for 7 yrs now; because my ex was also an unfaithful liar; and I have a wonderful 10 yr old son.
2006-12-13 20:21:29 · answer #4 · answered by shaylea29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She lied to you for a reason. Does she want you involved in the childs life? If not, why not? She didn't get pregnant on her own so I'd suggest that you talk to her in a mature, adult and understanding way and express your feelings towards the upbringing of the child. If you want to be involved, suggest it. If you don't, its your choice, but from a moral point of view you should contribute financially. x
2016-05-24 00:44:17 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a really nice guy and she doesnt deserve you. If i can be honest; ill tell you to dump her. You know why? Once the TRUST IS GONE, THE RELATIONSHIP ISNT GOING TO WORK OUT. Trust me on this. Now sit down and think. Are you sure that you are going to be happy FOREVER with her? 2nd question: Do i really love her that much? 3rd question: Can i learn to trust her again? If all of the questions above are yes: then TALK to her. Tell her that you have problem to trust her, you arent sure where its going & find out what you both want to do about it.
All the best
2006-12-13 20:15:39 · answer #6 · answered by AlisonJonshon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I'm reading your letter, I get feeling that you do not love her, so the only right choice in this case it to leave her. If you both decide to keep child, then I hope you will take care of baby when she/he is born, you can stay friends and raise a child without being a family.
2006-12-13 21:32:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
toss her back,my man is the same way ,an 17yrs later still is,it aint hurt anyone but me,once a lier always.once a cheat always a cheat,we have alot in common.i work,got 2 kids,an hes always gonna make money,ha ha.they are comfortable we make em comfortable.they do what they want,an we catch em when they fall,get out before you have kids.if you stay an become a dad it may not be yours,so you hurt double
2006-12-13 20:29:42 · answer #8 · answered by pooh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
U knew everything about her and still put up with her. It is time u realize that she is not worth it and is only taking advantage of ur weakness & feelings towwards her,
She does not deserve your love or kindness.
If u dont do this now; u could regret ur entire life. Take it from someone who does like me.
2006-12-14 09:12:57 · answer #9 · answered by jax_jax_jax_jax_jax 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you crazy? How low is your self esteem and how little self respect must you have to want to deal with this non sense.
Get you self some help and stay as far awaty from the triffling hefer as possible
2006-12-14 01:36:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋