When I met my husband, I had been accepted to the college I had wanted all through HS as well as their ROTC program and intended on earning my commission in the Army. Instead, I came Active Duty so that we could live overseas together and sometimes I regret it. What is the best way to get over this? It's worse b/c he gets promoted quicker than I do b/c I was national guard at first and do not have as much "time in" as he does and he likes to rub it in my face...when in actuality, he could be saluting me! How do you get over the things you regret in your past?
2006-12-13 18:45:46 · 13 answers · asked by ashley b 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i dropped out of college so i could marry my husband and i dont regret it at all we have a great marriage and 3 wonderful sons and about to celebrat our 29th anniversary my mom still say things like yu could have done so much with your life i fill i have done alot i raised 3 great sons who are educated and well mattered and they have great carres and two have wifes and childern which isw awsome to be called momo i teach sunday school and childerns church for over 30 yrs i get the privale to teach gods word to gods lil ones i am content becacsue i know that god is control of it all
2006-12-13 18:55:31 · answer #1 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is "going over to the dark side" an option in the US army (your use of the word "college" suggests you are American, not Australian)? That is, is there a program for talented privates & NCOs to go to officer training school & do tertiary education? Check and see what the current options are.
Is going back to the National Guard, and studying full time and soldiering part time an option? This might make it a bit easier for you to move around whilst studying. Then, when you've finished your studies, you can rejoin full time, as an officer.
O.K., that's the easy bit. The next bit is negotiating with your husband about how your career is going to take precedence for the next two or three years.
I would suggest that you need to consider the nature of your relationship carefully: it sounds as if the career issue is one that is really festering with you. Have you discussed the issue at all with your husband? If you haven't, you may find that he would be more willing to help & give you the room to move that you need. Are there other issues as well?
2006-12-14 03:02:01 · answer #2 · answered by Spell Check! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ashley, you can't change the past. All you can do is re-consider how you look at it. So, what can you do now? First, there are probably correspondence courses you can take that will improve your overall standing. Can you apply for OCS where you are? Take the long view. Do you both want to make the military a career? If so, consider how you want to serve. Any assurances you will be stationed together? Is he an officer? Does he want to become an officer? Can he go to OCS also? Is he interested? Will the Army send you back to school to get your college degree and take ROTC and become an officer? Look at your options...and have some serious talks with him about how he is treating you and what kind of relationship you two are going to have in the years to come.
2006-12-14 02:52:36 · answer #3 · answered by judgebill 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
one way of getting over the things you regret from your past is to retrace your steps,you can choose to go back to college now and you should sit your husband down and remind him of the sacrifices you made for him and tell him you are hurt when he rubs such in your face as a marriage is not a competition it is a union of two people who mutually love and respect each other.
you also need to forgive him and let go of any bitterness before you will be able to move on easyily.
i wish you all the luck gal,but people always say marriage is about sacrifice for the person you love and you have proven that you love your husband by sacrificing for him so dont have any hang ups about it now.
2006-12-14 02:58:02 · answer #4 · answered by modee m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, let me thank you for your courage and strength in this man's army. i have been there, i know.... as for your husband, you know and he probably knows too, that he should be saluting you. that's why he rubs it in your face that he doesn't have to. if he had to salute you, in reality it would kinda suck for him. as a guy ya know? don't hold it against him, he's a guy. just know it in your heart...it should be enough. as for your commission, that's too bad, in a sad kinda way. the things we do for men huh? don't be too hard on yourself or start kicking your own ***, it's okay. you'll still go far in this life, so many people look up to you as it is. i hope people tell you this on a regular basis. if you really think about it, how many MEN can even make it through army basic training without crying? i'm not saying this in a bad way, just that you are a very strong woman, and deserve to be commended as such, but you don't really need the bars on your collar to prove it. thank you for your service.
2006-12-14 02:58:28 · answer #5 · answered by iwondersoiask 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if he's rubbing it in your face, then he is no "man". He should be grateful that you put YOUR career on hold for the betterment of the family. Very few women this day in age are willing to do that. You should be commended. Good luck to you.
2006-12-14 03:16:34 · answer #6 · answered by texrad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now past become history and you have no control over , better ignore & forget the past , restart / reworking on your future plan to get in the lime light . Spend some time , putting evrything on a paper to evaluate the mistakes .
2006-12-14 02:51:02 · answer #7 · answered by your noon 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
TRY 4 giving your self. Then 4 give him. BITTERNESS is not good.
2006-12-14 02:47:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wish I knew. I did the same thing.
2006-12-14 02:47:19 · answer #9 · answered by -- 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Do what you want to do now,,if he doesnt like it,,oh well.Also,,he should not feel like he is competeing with you his wife.
2006-12-14 02:48:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋