Okay....Was having a casual relationship with a man for 7mons. i found out i am pregnant 2 wks ago and he told me he didnt want anymore children (he already has two from previous marriage). He seemed cold and unavail. ( as it is not a priority) when we planned to hook up to talk so, i told him I would not him anymore and to do the same. I want the baby and am keeping it. Chances are he will not bother anyway since "does not want anymore children" should i tell him my intentions or move on and say nothing ?????
2006-12-13 18:36:40 · 19 answers · asked by Princess Cintia 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
He has a right to know that there will be a child that is his, so that he can choose whether or not to have that relationship. It is admirable that you have decided to keep it and raise it no matter what his intentions are, but you have to think about questions that will be asked later on down the road. Eventually this child will ask who it's father is, and it will only be traumatizing for everyone involved if this is a surprise years down the road. If he chooses not to step up in any way, then that is his choice and no fault of yours. Atleast you will have an answer to give when that question is asked. Honesty is the best policy in this case, because it avoids confusion and hurt later on. He may say he doesn't want any more children, and then be hurt later that he missed out on many milestones because he wasn't given the opportunity. The child will be hurt by any deception you would have to uphold to keep them from finding out.
2006-12-13 18:49:37 · answer #1 · answered by dragonlady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hm. First of all, if getting pregnant is your idea of what you call a "casual" relationship, then you prolly should look for an radical cult that supports it. Second, you should really be on birth control after this baby. That is, of course, if you're planning on having sex before commitment AGAIN. Third, save up some money for the unborn for education and health welfare and save extra for a future needed DNA test to proof to your so called boyfriend about his kid. Fourth, yea just go ahead and tell him. Don't make it sound like you're hoping for his involvement though, coz as you said yerself, he just won't bother. Fifth.. just be on a healthy pregnancy and don't hook up just yet :) Take care.
2006-12-14 02:53:20 · answer #2 · answered by Zenithia Victora 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel that the father has a right to know, But then move on. I am SO thankful that you are going to have the baby. Abortion is not the answer, as a few people said. Depending on your age, adoption can be an option. God bless, and keep you and your baby safe.
2006-12-14 11:12:04 · answer #3 · answered by AdoreHim 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a right to know. If he says he wants nothing to do with the child, you need to decide if you will need his assistance financially or not. If you don't have him sign over his parental rights so that he can't come back latter and mess up you're child's life. If you do need the assistance you are going to have to put up with him for the rest of your life and you need to figure out a way to do that without creating a negative environment for your child.
2006-12-14 04:35:10 · answer #4 · answered by Sweets 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know that there really is a "should" about it. Here are my thoughts. He forfeited his right to know when he had casual unprotected sex. It seems to me like it is fair to tell him, mainly for the child's sake, unless you think he will cause you problems. I think I would tell him after the child was born, because his response will be much more genuine and less selfish then. There is no reason to tell him now that I can see, unless you are going to try to get his support during pregnancy, or just because you want it over with.
2006-12-14 03:12:53 · answer #5 · answered by zilmag 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If the child is to become a foster child, then he/she will have a 50% failure rate at high school, and will have a 2/3 chance of being on welfare for the rest of his/her life. Criminals are 8 times as likely to have come from single parent households, than two parent households. Do the right thing: abort it.
2006-12-14 03:09:48 · answer #6 · answered by united_nations_pilot 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Be honest with him and let him know you intend to keep the baby - and that he does not need to be involved.
Seeing as it is a choice you are making you cannot expect him to stay involved or be responsible - he has obviously already it very clear he does not want to be involved.
Just make sure you tell him you are keeping it, and that is that.
2006-12-14 04:53:00 · answer #7 · answered by yummy_mummy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations! You need him to sign over his parental rights the minute that baby is born. After that you don't have to worry about this guy and you can just move on! Best of Luck. I know it's hard but I'm sure you can do it!
2006-12-14 02:48:18 · answer #8 · answered by .vato. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would move on. He is a prat who should have used contraception or had the snip if he reallly felt his family was complete. I would`nt allow him the option of having a say with the baby. Sorry but some men just dont deserve the pleasure. Tell him you dont need him anyway.
2006-12-14 02:46:41 · answer #9 · answered by Bubbles 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
yes, move on, work geet enough money for child and wait a while for mr right to show up, i respect u for taking responsibility for ur actions u will make a great mother, but though if u change ur mind and get abortion, i wont think nothing less of you, but remember now your a woman its your right,but being mother takes more guts. a ******** like that should only be the biologicial father, find a better father and husband
2006-12-14 03:25:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋