Abortion?'?

Question

Ok. Here's the deal. I just found out Monday that I am pregnant. For one, I'm not sure how to feel about this. I am only 18. I have a super sweet supportive boyfriend. We just told our parents today and they didn't freak, surprisingly. I've always wanted kids, now that I'm going to have one, it just doesn't feel like it should be happening, ya know? Abortion keeps popping in my head. I'm totally against abortion but I keep thinking about it. It would make everything so much easier. I think Im also being selfish. We always use condoms. The condom broke so I took the morning after pill. Which obviously did NOT work. is it wrong that I keep thinking about having an abortion. Its not a baby yet...just fluids andstuff. But i still feel like I shouldnt be thinking it. Is it normal to have mixed emotions about this whole pregnancy thing?

Answer 1

I'm against abortions, but I don't know what that morning after pill does to the "baby" (I know you don't think it is a baby). All the same. Birth control pills have caused birth defects so I am concerned about the morning after pill. Certainly if you choose to have an abortion you better decide quickly. You will never be happy about it. Talk to your Mom. She loves you and will help you with this one. After you sort it out some talk to your boyfriend, he deserves to be involved in your decision. Help him to understand your concerns. Good luck with what ever you decide. Only you can decide if you want to have a baby at age 18 and settle down with a family. If you don't and you want to go full term, there is always adoption.

Answer 2

I was adopted as a newborn. While this worked out great or me (my adopted parents are wonderful), my birthmother (who I found when I was 20), wasn't so fortunate. She NEVER got over the trauma and loss of giving me up. She said that not 1 day went by that she didn't think about me. It also tore her family apart.You would think that I would be anti-abortion, since I suppose I could have been one myself. However, I am not, in some cases. I am in NO WAY suggesting that you have an abortion, though. If your gut is telling you that isn't right, then you should try to figure out why that is. Whether you are pro-choice or not, that is YOUR decision, and just don't let other peoples opinions on the subject (which can be quite passionate), effect your decision, confuse you, or make you feel guilty for even having thought about it. I just know that had my birthmother actually kept me (she was a teenager as well at the time), her life and mine would have ended up quite differently, and not for the better. She and her boyfriend were in NO WAY equipped nor ready to raise a child at that age. Even though she never got over giving me up, she did fortunately, have the opportunity to go on and become a doctor (which she admits, she would not have done had she kept me). She and my birthfather eventually broke up, but she did marry later on, had 2 sons (my half brothers), and a very successful career. Although I did have a relationship with her, I don't anymore, for reasons that actually relate my being adopted. (If you would like details of why, for any reason, email me and I will share them with you). My point here is this, whether you keep the baby, give it up, or abort it, there are serious lifelong emotional ramifications. You need to decide what matters the most to you, and what is best for everyone. Every option has it's negatives and positives, and you and your boyfriend need to go through all of them and decide which option will have the most positive results in the longterm. This may very well be the most important decision you will have to make, so consider all the options and possible outcomes very carefully. So, to answer your main question, YES, it is totally normal to have such mixed emotions about this. I know my birthmother struggled with all the options as well, and admitted that had abortions been easier to come by back then where she lived, that too had been a serious consideration. You are NOT being selfish, simply human. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 3

Abortion does not make things easier. I counsel at a pregnancy help clinic and talk to girls/women all the time that are in your situation. By the way, did you know that your baby's heart is beating at 3 weeks? Fluid stuff does not have a heart, does it? You probably are at least 5- 6 weeks- the organs are developing- Mixed emotions are normal. It seems like you have supportive parents too, which I do not always see. Be grateful for that and a sweet supportive bf. I can tell you know that abortion is wrong, It not only takes the life of the child, it causes long term physical, emotional and spiritual risks with you. Talk to someone at a pregnancy clinic before you make this decision,

Answer 4

Here's my advice:
First, it's COMPLETELY normal to have mixed feelings. So many hormornal things are happening in your body, and it is a very new thing for you to think about.

I think you should talk to someone about your feeling and circumstances other than YahooAnswers, a face-to-face conversation with some who can explain the full extent of each "option". I do understand it is probably very difficult for you, and I'm sure you are unsure who to speak with. But it will be better for you in the long run.

Personally, a friend of mine from high school (I'm in college) became a Dad recently. Obviously, his girlfriend became pregnant at 17 or 18, and they decided to keep their baby. They both stayed in school until they graduated. Now they have a beautiful baby boy. They are so happy together as a new family.

If you are "totally against abortion" like you said you are, think about what you're saying: it can't be just fluids and stuff. I know it's got to be the most difficult thing you've ever been faced with, but I have heard so many awful stories about women that were going to be mothers that decided to have abortions. Not to be graphic or specific, the abortion experience held so much more than they were ready for. It created so much traumatic stress on them, even after it happened because they didn't realize the psychological part of it.
I just don't want that to be you.

If your boyfriend is supportive, that's wonderful. And your parents didn't freak out, then so many girls your age are wishing they were you right now. That could be a sign to welcome the developing baby inside of you. Please research. Talk to Centers and the Health Department in your phonebook. There are countless programs that are there for you to use to help you. Also seach on-line. It can be a great resource. I wish you the best with your decision.

Answer 5

Of course it's normal to have mixed emotions. You have three options. You could have an abortion and carry on as before. However, there are moral, spiritual and emotional implications and you should consider very carefully how you really feel about this, because you may regret it later. Or, you could give the child a life and give him or her up for adoption. Adoptive parents are screened very carefully, and there is always a shortage of babies up for adoption, so you could make a childless couple that has been waiting a long time very happy, and know that your child will be well cared for. Or, you could have the child, which will radically change your life, but it is worth consideration if your parents are very supportive and willing to help raise him or her. Please discuss it with them. You need all the support you can get to make the best decision.

Answer 6

At such a young age it is totally normal to have those feelings. What worries me is the fact that you said you were against abortions. That makes me think that after it is done, you are going to go through some extreme emotions regarding the loss of the child. Mainly, guilt. I’ve heard many women (men also) state that they regret that they ever ended the life. On the other hand, I have never heard someone say that they wish they had had an abortion after they have a baby. Bottom line, a woman should have the right to choose what happens to her body, but a father should have some input as well. Just remember, you decision will affect you emotionally/spiritually for many years to come, especially when you decide to start a family. Good luck with your decision.

Answer 7

Thoroughly normal. It's even mentioned in the majority of pregnancy books I've paged through. Even if you'd been planning on getting pregnant, there're still good odds of just utter confusion when it does happen.

I suggest picking up some books on the topic. 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' is, in my opinion, crummy (see http://www.epinions.com/content_240437137028 for a bit of the whyfor there). 'The Mother of All Pregnancy Books' is good, but perhaps hard to find if you're not in Canada. Hit the library and get a variety; a lot have substantial biases; some good, some bad, but it's worth reading as much as you can stand to figure out said biases and find out where you stand.

It should clarify a lot of things -- stuff you might be worried about will turn out to not be a big deal, and vice versa.

It's not 'wrong.' Good luck with whatever you decide to do. (Though from the wording of your question, I suspect you've already decided... Congratulations, then!)

Answer 8

It is normal to be feeling all scared when you find out your going to be having a baby and that you will be tied down for the next 18 years of your life. In the beginning it is a shock. I was so shocked and my pregnancy was planned. I was also scared. But once you have your child and hold him/her in your arms you will think "how come i thought that way in the beginning of it all".
There is no love unlike any other than holding your own baby in your arms and knowing you made it.

I am for abortion. I feel every woman has the right to choose to have an abortion for whatever reason. If you are really going to get an abortion you need to do it now and don't wait until way later. I have read alot on the net about abortion and you can take the abortion pill if your 8 weeks or under. Go to http://www.abortion.com and click on any clinic or one near you and read about it.

But i do think if you truely did not want to have a baby you wouldn't have told your parents so i think this is just fear. Don't worry it will pass.

Good luck
http://www.americanpregnancy.com

Answer 9

of course its normal hunni, its a very shocking thing to hear especially if youre not expecting it. i would only advice that people go for an abortion if theyre 100% sure hun, but i dont think you are, i think the only reason youre feeling like this is shock and you feel overwhelmed by everything thats happening at the mo. things will settle down soon enough and when you see your expanding tummy and feel little one move, itll be out of this world. it takes time to get used to it hun. if you are absolutely sure that you want an abortion, make sure you have loads of support hun, abortion is harder than having a child in the long run, you'll never forget about it. either way, i wish you all the luck in the world. xxxx

Answer 10

I was pregnant at 17 with my first child, I got an adrenaline rush when i found out I was pregnant. If you have unsure feelings about where this will take your life you are not the only person. you need to get advice from others about the abortion if you wish to do it you absolutely should or if you are worried about the life commitment to a child and that is why you have a problem gather a support system around you to figure out what can be done. there is also adoption. You have the right toget an abortion but there will be emotional consequense. Also you are a woman life is not easy you must remember recognize the joys when they happen