Can any one tell me why why love marriages fail?

Question

Can every one share their point of view so that i may try to prent those situations and conditions in my life...

Answer 1

Mine is love marriage 25year old now but it did not fail. What is the real mantra for successful marriage is understanding between the two if you follow it you will be also successful.

Answer 2

In a marriage there has to be communication,compromise, trust, understanding, space, time, love, and patience. In a marriage there will always be arguements so you have to get use to it. You need to take time out and do seperate things from each other because if your alway together the relationship will get stale and you will be at eachothers throats. But you do need to still date. So you have to find at least one day a week to do something together. Also try to avoid arguements. If its something so minor dont fret about it. Because if you ignore this a small thing can turn into something major for no reason. Sex is another reason marriages fail. You have to work a little harder to keep this part of your relationship interesting. Once in awhile dance for him. Do something special. Add variety between the sheets. Don't fall into the same ol' category because that will become boring for the both of you. Money also can cause barriers in a relationship. But if you both work together and make compromises then there is no stopping you, the sky is the limit. Good luck!

Answer 3

It is not only love marriages that fail, it is arranged one's too.
The problem is lack of communication, lack of trust, lack of equality, after all everyone is an equal with feelings of their own. Lack of respect for each other's wants wishes and feelings. No one has the right to dictate or demand anything from another person and too much of this goes on. Then there is physical and emotional abuse, no one has the right to do that either. People these days, whose marriages fail, have failed to sit down and work at the marriage. However, victims of a marriage are the one's that have had enough of their partners abuse of them and quite rightly so. A relationship, a marriage has to be worked at, every day of your life to keep the love and laughter alive it is a two way thing and if only one is working at the marriage then it is doomed.

Answer 4

I am starting to think marriages fail because humans are just not designed to be monogamous. A food analogy would be eating pasta every day for the rest of your life. Even if you really really love pasta, sometimes you need a little streak...
Marriage is like that; a promise by two people in one specific stage in their lives that is supposed to hold for all the other stages in their lives. Humans are inherently jealous and find it hard to share, and so betrayal is usually the beginning of the end.
I often ask myself what the world would be like if things were not like this. Imagine a world where no one betrayed another, where love and family can exist side by side with open sexuality. Where there would be no suspicions, no secrets, no betrayals, no affairs...and it is with this Utopian image in mind that I say farewell.

Answer 5

Not all love marriages fail and not all arrange marriages are successful. I think the greater failure reason , may be is that both partners knows each others weakness during there affair time. This may lead to exploitation during conflicts. More ever most of the time affairs occur not from mind but by from heart so we tend to step aside incompatibilities which surfaces later on after marriage and become bigger issues.

Answer 6

Partially because when we are young we mistake passion for love. When the passion startes to decrease and it ALWAYS does we tend to think the love has gone.

We meet someone when we are young and we are intensely attracted to them. We hook up with them.

Our lives are busy, busy , busy. We have so many demands on us! In todays world there is no such thing as job security. Kids! Now kids need to read, write and count before kindergaten and all grades of kids routinely bring home 2 hours of homework every night. On top of full time jobs parents are expected to teach theire children all the stuff they are not learnig in school! WE all own too much "stuff" but that means we have all this "stuff" to take care of. At least two cars, TVS, steros, cell phones, cameras , waterpiks etc

On an on our time is used up. We are tired, worn out and on our last nerve. We don't have time for the passion we had for our partner to turn into mature love. WE are too busy to really get to know them, to see all thier good qualities. Most of the time husbands and wives see each other only at the very end of a long day when they are totally exhausted and certainly not at thier best.

As the passion declines we think the love has gone. When in fact the passion has gone and love has not replaced it.

Answer 7

Alot of times, even if you live together before marriage, you truly don't know someone until you're married to them. Not to mention that everyone changes as they get older and sometimes, they don't grow and change in the same direction. They start wanting and needing different things in their lives. It's not so much as love failing as it is just growing apart emotionally. Love can fail for so many reasons - abuse, infidelity, emotional abondonment, etc. It';s really hard to say what all causes marriages to fail. A lot of the time it's something as simple as lack of communication though - people underestimate the power of marriage counseling to eatch them how to communicate better.

Answer 8

First, it takes work. Secondly, and just as important, keep in mind people do change over time. When you first start out with someone, you both are different people than you are going to be in 20 yrs later. Communication is also another key. I wouldn't reccomend midway into a marriage for one party to start talking in the single form of "I" (when it used to be we) and then saying, well I meant "we". "I" by itself means one thing and one thing only, they don't view you two as a couple anymore.
There is no way you can possibly ever prevent each and every scinerio, try as much as you might. Thats why I said, it takes work (something too many people are allergic to, I feel)

Answer 9

Also people dont realise that marriage is more than attraction. It's plain hard work. You need to put your partner first and be prepared to comprimise what you want for the sake of a relationship. When you have two people who are prepared to take a relationship seriously and discuss and deal with problems as they arrive I believe the relationship will have a greater chance of success and can lead to happiness in a relationship.

A friend of mine also suggests that having outside interests helps also to keep the relationship fresh.

Answer 10

I think it all has to do with change.
People fall in love at one point in their lives...say at the end of college for example and people change over time. at the point when the couple falls in love, each person has certain traits, ideas, beliefs, attidues, habits and so on, and those aforementioned things are what people fall in love with. Yes, looks are important, but looks don't create a strong marriage. The man at 20 whom a woman loves partially because he is a neat freak and always keeps his apartment hospital clean might 'have a revelation' or just get busy with other priorities and only clean once a week. She can't stand clutter, this grates on her nerves, and she feels cheated because he is not acting "like the man she fell in love with." She tries to change him back into the man she met, he gets fed up and leaves. He looks the same, his name is the same, but his traits are not those previously associated with him.

People change. Think about who you were 1, 5, 10 years ago and look at how your attitudes and so on have changed. It's easy to say after the honeymoon that you will love this person no matter how they change...the key is to understand that in 1, 5, 10 years, they could and probably will be a completely different person in some or many ways. They might have the same job but they could affiliate with a different political party. Or they could wake up and realize that the CEO job that they have is running them into the ground and they want to rid themselves of a money-driven life and work in a volunteer agency.

In order for love marriages to work, among other things, you have to think through all the things you love about your significant other and decide if you can handle them changing one or any of those facets and they have to do the same for you.

Answer 11

A misunderstanding of love. Many people today think love is just a feeling. Feelings change so love changes. Actually, real love begins with a feeling but includes a commitment and selfless service to that person. Commitment is becoming a thing of the past and not many people value it so they easily back out of marriages.