Depressed? Advice Please...?

Question

I have a friend who i think is depressed, or she might just be really tired from school and working a lot. She's really quiet when she's around a group of friends and wants to be alone. She is actually a quiet and reserved person but it appears that she's losing interest in things that she onced loved to do, for example, hanging out with friends, playing her guitar, and afterschool clubs. She seems to want to always be sleeping and avoiding things.Other times it seems like she's forcing herself to act happy and like nothing is wrong, but in reality i think something is bothering her. I have been fortunate enough to be one of the few people she still confides in but she doesn't tell me as much anymore and I'm worried that something worse might happen if she keeps acting this way. I'm not really sure how to handle this and some advice would be appreciated.

Answer 1

Maybe she just needs someone to listen.

Answer 2

If she still coinfides in you, ask her if there's a problem.
Do you think she may be doing drugs? Marijuana can often have this sort of effect on people.
Depression is a real nasty but with friends to be there for you, you have a better chance of pulling through.
If it is depression, simple things like getting enough sleep can help reduce the effects and many of the girls I know who suffer from depression find that a regular exercise routine REALLY helps but getting through the first 4 weeks of the routine need someone along to keep pushing.
If she seems a little tired and out of touch suggest maybe seeing a doctor because there are MANY possible medical causes eg vitamin B deficiency etc., and the doctor may be able to assess if depression or drug use are factors.
Look for signs of abuse, eg bruising, bleeding, often acting scared or extra timid when a particular person is near, however be careful about your conclusions because there may be a plausible and not too bad reason for what you observe, eg timid behaviour around a particular guy might just be she's in love.
Also consider financial hardship. If she and/or her family are having a tough time with money she may not have enough to go out as much. so suggest things that are free like a walk in the park or the beach and see if she takes the bait. However, if they're realy having a tough time, it could be down to poor nutrition if they can't afford food so also look for signs of weight loss. (but all the above mentioned reasons can also cause weight loss.)
The fact that you have noticed and are trying to find out how to help shows that you are a good friend and are doing what you can.

Answer 3

Some of the major symptoms of depression --------gasp, it's not crying all the time- is pulling away from activities that once brought you pleasure, and sleeping alot, or not enough. If you are in school still, I would talk to the guidance counselor or her parents or yours. She sounds like she needs desperate help. Don't let her go years (I went 15 years before seeking help) without seeking professional help. She may also be displaying other symptoms that aren't that easy to notice. Do you ever see her when she is changing (gym class, at her house after school, etc)? Or does she always wear long sleeves and pants? If so, this could be a sign of her cutting herself. Some people when depressed cut themselves to release physical pain. Watch her closely for anymore changes, and get help for her immediately. Good luck, and she is lucky to have a friend like you.

Answer 4

I've dealt with depression since I was probably 14. It sounds like your right. She probably is suffering from depression. It may be short term or may be something that lasts a while. Either way it sounds like your doing a good job by looking for the signs. Keep talking to her try to get her to open up. Don't worry about making it worse. Be there for her and let her know that you will never judge her. Let her know you would like to talk about what's bothering her. Eventually your efforts will pay off. People with depression usually don't just start blabbing about what's bothering them. It takes time. Just keep being her friend.
If you find that it's really bad. Don't try to fix her yourself. The goal would be to get professional help. But that doesn't work for everyone either. Sometimes it's a combination of cognitive therapy and medication. There's so many variables. Never give up and hopefully she wont either.
Just my 2 cents...

Answer 5

If she is seeing someone, maybe the relationship isn't going like she want's it to go and she's a little ashamed, even to talk to you , her main friend.. Just be there for her, but dont be afraid to ask her,, Tell her you know there is something wrong, and you would feel much better and she would probably too if she would just confide in you. Ask her what can it hurt . If she's already feeling down, it might really help her to talk to you about it.. She just might not see it that way , until you approach her about it. So Nice to see friends caring so much about each other,, Now that's what it all supposed to be about .. good luck

Answer 6

So you've decided you need to see someone for your depression. Now what? Your first visit should be to your family doctor for a thorough checkup. There are several medical conditions that can cause depression symptoms, such as vitamin and mineral deficiencies, female hormonal changes and thyroid conditions. In addition, several medications may have depression as a side-effect. If your doctor does not find any of these factors as a cause of your depression, you may then be referred to a mental health professional. It is very important - especially if this is your first time seeing someone for depression - that you obtain a referral. Your family doctor may mean well in offering to prescribe you an antidepressant, but he is not the best qualified doctor to treat depression. He cannot offer you psychotherapy nor is he experienced in the nuances of prescribing psychotropic medications. Psychiatry is very much an art rather than a science. Treating depression is not quite a simple as giving someone a prescription for Zoloft and sending them on their way. Some will need several trials of different medications to find one that best relieves their symptoms. Some will need more than one medication to counteract side-effects or boost positive effects. Still others might benefit from adding psychotherapy to the mix. In addition, you may have a completely different disorder. Bipolar disorder is one such disorder which may be initially misdiagnosed as depression, but requires a very different course of treatment. There will be a tendency for some new patients to visit a counselor or psychologist for their initial evaluation rather than a psychiatrist. This can be beneficial for many, but for others it is not enough. Only a psychiatrist is a medical doctor and therefore able to prescribe medications. If your depression stems from a chemical imbalance, talk therapy will not be sufficient to treat you. It is best to make your initial visit to a psychiatrist, who can both prescribe medications and offer you psychotherapy if it is needed. This two pronged approach of medication and talk therapy is often the most beneficial to patients. Although your psychiatrist is qualified to offer you psychotherapy services, do not be surprised if he refers you to a second, non-medical professional for your therapy while he concentrates on fine-tuning your medications. There is some debate within the psychiatric community as to whether the role of psychiatrist as a talk therapist has become outdated as we learn more about the biological basis of depression and mental illness. Some argue that therapy can be left to the psychologists while the psychiatrist concentrates on the complexities of the patient's medical care. At the present time, however, psychotherapy is a part of the psychiatrist's training and he is fully qualified to offer it to patients if he so chooses. The most important thing to remember about seeking depression treatment, however, is simply to speak up and ask. Depression is not a sign of weakness or laziness. It is a sign that something is out of balance. With proper treatment, you can feel well again.

Answer 7

That's tough. you are a very good person for trying. I have had 15 years of this. People do not know how to help, that's why there are professionals.

For now, your friend might need a card in the mail, regularly. A phone call, them move up to get her out of the house for a walk and a sunny day. Also we forget that when we feel helpless, we need to feel needed. Call her and ask her for help with something she can handle right now. We all need to feel love and be feel useful. Maybe she will open up to you.

Answer 8

She seems like she is depressed she could be going through something. About handling it you should talk to her privately and say things like your not the same as you used to be are you okay if you need anything or help just ask me becuase im here for you. Maybe that will work she could be going through stuff like her parents are divorcing, her loved one passed away, or shes being abused, or even she wants to change. Settle down with her and move into a conversation. GoodLuck

Answer 9

shes depressed but have her see someone before she goes off the deep end and does herself in.. your a good friend of recognizing this.. there are school counselors. that can guide u. working can tire her. she can be anemic too tell her to take a multi vitamin to keep her immune up and energy.. if she is anemic she would be exhausted and lifeless. maybe shes not eating meat enough or perhaps something is hidden in her life like, sexual abuse or manic depression inherited. go to a health food shop look these symptoms up in a book with her.. least get the vitamins and talk seriously before its to late.tyrosine si good for mental uplifting its an amino acid people lack in the state of depression. it is used in many health clinics for depression and it cant hurt u get it at gnc

Answer 10

You need to talk to an adult about her. Depression takes many forms, and you have mentioned several of the signs. Her parents need to know, and she needs some kind of therapy--either talk with a therapist, or a medical doctor for medication. Don't wait on this. If she shows any inclination to suicide, call the suicide hot line. See link below.

Answer 11

I had a similar point in life where I was the same way. Although I wouldn't call it depressed, it could surely lead to it. Perhaps try getting her to go out more - perhaps social events? - maybe a concert or party. No one wants to remember their teen years in a bad way.

And as for school counseling - perhaps it was just the school I went to but they didn't do jack and seemed bothered even when a schedule mishap were to occur. Gotta love public schools! =)