my husband fought for joint custody and won. he has his kids every weekend , school vacation and summer, they are not sent with food or money or clothes, so this means we provide everything for them while they are here. recently we had to take the oldest one to the dentist to get her rotted teeth pulled out because the mom continuously said she was going to take her but the appts were cancelled or something else came up... i put them on my insurance because my husbands job does not offer ins. and their mother is neglecting some of their medical needs. the oldest one is deaf and she said it was a hassle to take sign classes, she can not even pay her light bill but she will buy movies, expensive clothes for her and the kids. he is paying child support but we are worried that it is not going where it needs to be and we have a 7 mo. old daughter. can he request a reduction and win or can we get custody (not to keep them from her) without a lawyer?
please help, they deserve more!!
2006-12-13 15:38:22 · 8 answers · asked by motherof3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
every state is a little different regarding these matters. the only sure way to find out is to contact legal aid office. they are in every state and almost every county. the courthouse should know their number if you cant find it in the phone book. they go on a sliding scale, so its free for most.
as for the medical, he should be paying for more then half (since he probably is making more then you do). as for sending food or clothing with them, they dont do that here in NJ, unless its court ordered to do so. hell, my ex wouldnt even change their clothes, let alone send any.
its going to be a battle (for with some men, money is their God), so just stand your ground for what is best for the children, period.
these links may help too; just click on your state, and find the child support section/custody section.
make your appointment with legal aid soon.
2006-12-14 15:23:02 · answer #1 · answered by Yvette B yvetteb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been through a lot of custody issues with a lot of people. I may not be a lawyer, but I am pretty well educated.
What your husband needs to do is to re-petition for primary custody. List all the reasons, but be OBJECTIVE about them.
Example: Due to X amount of cancelled appointments, we have had to pay for (child's name here) teeth to be removed.
Have the dentist sign a paper saying that if your step daughter had been taken to her appointments as usual, they would not have had to pull the teeth. Good luck, though, some people don't want to "get involved".
Example #2: I am concerned that the child support I am paying is not going for my children's benefit, as medical needs are not being addressed.
Example #3: My eldest daughter is not being taken to sign language classes, which will severely impede her social and personal development. Communication is an important part of development, and she is not being provided with the skills and teaching tools to develop correctly.
He can put in his petition that although the kids are being provided for, since they are buying new clothes for the kids, he is concerned about their living arrangements. You CAN petition that the courts force your husband's ex to provide utility bills, compared to entertainment expenses. However, the court may not approve of that.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to contact me, my info is on my Q&A page and my e mail address is one_lonely_one@yahoo.com
2006-12-13 15:52:25 · answer #2 · answered by Bachman-ette 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can file for a modification of support. Detail with documentation of all medical bills being paid, what you pay for the insurance, etc.
The medical/dental records of the kids could be important to show that you are doing that and she isn't.
I am very concerned about the neglect. Your husband should see about fill custody and giving her only visitation rights. It is obvious that you are very concerned for children who are not your own and it is wonderful that you have such a loving, caring heart. God Bless you!
If you can prove the neglect.... which it sounds like you may be able to..... it might help your husband get custody. Then the children will be cared for and she won't get any support.... but would have to pay him! I see that as a win-win situation for your finances and for the children to be loved and cared for.
God Bless,
Sue
2006-12-13 15:45:45 · answer #3 · answered by newbiegranny 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Something of this nature was on the Dr. Phil show recently.
I would address an attorney regarding the possible neglect issues.
You could go forward for custody of the children,
granting the Mother visitation.
Your husband can ask for a reduction in child support
but it does not mean it will happen, yet in this case it may.
I would move forward on this as soon as you can, realize his x is not going to like it.
2006-12-13 16:01:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't do anything concerning support or custody without a lawyer. The custody/support papers are a legal and binding contract and can only be changed by a judge. As for where the money goes. Child support for ONE child doesn't go to pay everything for that ONE child. I know, I have ONE child who's father sent child support but the amount the support was fell about $200.00 short every month. The rent for our apartment came out of my paycheck while I paid the rest of the bills (heat, hotwater, electricity, phone) out of the child support check as well as things she needed for school (school supplies aren't cheap), and extra cirricular activities. Once she got into college the child support was a JOKE. ONE book cost over $200.00! And that was for just ONE of her classes. I found myself dipping into my savings (there goes my retirement) to help pay for her books and supplies for college.
Face it you married a man with "baggage" in a court of law the children from his FIRST marriage come FIRST. Your 7 mo. old daughter is going to have to do without. If you didn't want life to be this way you shouldn't have married a man who was married and children prior to you coming along. That's the breaks.
2006-12-13 17:07:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can file for a reduction on your own just go to the clerk of courts and they can give you the right papers, as far as the support going where it should, well the courts does not care where the monies are spent as long as the spouse gets it. If you dont believe me ask my kids.....
2006-12-13 15:51:43 · answer #6 · answered by elmer b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you know how to file what is called a amended motion for custody or for payments. you can do it if its a simple formatte. custody is better with a attorney as they can do alot more by knowing not as much as the laws, but the judges. child cases are of the few in law that can be appealed to the supreme courts.
2006-12-13 15:48:56 · answer #7 · answered by hollywood71@verizon.net 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nO! newborn help is ordered in the time of the youngster centers courtroom. way different then the kinfolk courtroom. he needs to pass New Mexico and document for Custody and Visitation on the kinfolk courtroom interior the county the place his son is residing. this might get him visitation and a time table which the ex will could desire to save on with.
2016-10-14 22:03:29 · answer #8 · answered by didden 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋