I've come into some money and we're doing well, I work to keep things as they are, I know he feels really bad because he can't buy me anything "great" for Christmas. Kind of a role reversal--I'd love to get him an ATV - his took a big crap 2 years ago and I know he misses it--so should I? He's always carried the major load of bills and money, we been married for 30 years, and I don't want him to think I'm taking over or anything (I've invested enough that I think I could spend a bit for him)
2006-12-13 15:13:44 · 11 answers · asked by fallingstar 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
He was starting to hang over my shoulder---in addition-bills are all paid and we get along wonderfully--I've just been getting the feeling his ego may be a bit bruised -- I never make a big deal of it if he needs some cash for lunch or whatever. I guess the question is--would any of you men in this situation be peeved if you found an ATV under the tree??
2006-12-13 15:21:54 · update #1
Really---we've been married for 30 years--together for 32!!!!! Geez!!!
2006-12-13 15:33:22 · update #2
Do it! Xmas presents are about expressing love.
2006-12-13 15:18:09 · answer #1 · answered by sudonym x 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough question because you know it always depends on the individual. I made good money but eventually the wife passed me up in about the last ten years of me working and she makes more part time than I did full time. It never bothered me because I looked at everything we do as something we do together. We are a team and everything goes to our combined efforts so what is mine is hers and vise versa. Heck I retired almost four years ago and she is still working and I don't feel guilty. I cook, clean, do the laundry and take care of things at home so it is just a role change, and I don't mind nice Christmas presents as long as it is somewhat equal.
If you are thinking it might hurt his feelings you are the one that would know better than anyone of us, so if in doubt go the light route and maybe suggest after the holidays when it is his birthday and it is all about him you would have a better chance of it working for buying the new ATV.
2006-12-14 00:36:38 · answer #2 · answered by John E 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that is a great idea - and so thoughtful. Esp. since is would not be something you could otherwise afford. And it sounds like you are totally okay with not expecting anything in return - so selfless! I know he will love it!
My husband of 22 years just lost his job about 3 years ago as well and we are living on about 1/2 of his former salary (and I am working part time now as well).
It has really taken a hit on his self confidence - esp. since he is not really"old", or ready to even think about retiring. We still have kids in high school - and need to put them in college.
It is tough - but it's made us stronger, and our kids, too.
Merry Christmas and all the best. -kb
p.s. - If I got some extra money of my own - I know that I would do something special for my husband - (not sure what) but I know that he needs it! I think your husband would deeply appreciate your wonderful gesture of love for him and not be offended!
2006-12-13 23:21:18 · answer #3 · answered by what's up? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should, After 30 years and a good provider,he deserves it. I"m married 45 years, and I would do it, He might be up set at first, but you explain to him this is for all the times you were there for me, and I just want you to know I Love You. Remember we are a team,
2006-12-13 23:19:26 · answer #4 · answered by lennie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We just passed our 29th anniversary. I lost my job 2 years ago, am partially disabled and haven’t been able to find work since. We’re living on our savings. My wife was injured at work 4 months before I was laid off and is unable to work at all but doesn’t have enough quarters to collect disability. Who does what for who is so utterly unimportant.
I can tell you this. If you’ve been married 30 years and have to ask this question then I just don’t believe you. Maybe you’ve been together for a few years, but 30, nah.
2006-12-13 23:25:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd say buy it for him. You and your husband are a team and have worked (paid, unpaid, low and high pay) for 30 years to support your family. Happy ATVing.
2006-12-13 23:23:18 · answer #6 · answered by Fred B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES! Just tell him since he always took care of everything and youve always appreciatd it ,now its your turn to make him feel good for once. You might never be able to do it again.
2006-12-13 23:18:45 · answer #7 · answered by tanat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get it unless he would become stressed because he thinks the spending would lessen the family's security.
2006-12-13 23:27:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do it, no question about it. He has provided for his family, now it is your turn to reward him for all his years of hard work!!
2006-12-13 23:24:11 · answer #9 · answered by thrill88 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, tell him he bought you so many wonderful things over the years and you wanted to make it up to him.
2006-12-13 23:28:54 · answer #10 · answered by auntynoall 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋