I have tried bribery, taking away privileges, guilt, reality check by showing him how homeless people survive. When he does participate in school, he achieves "A" work. I try to advise him to challenge the teachers for more intense work, as it seems like he is bored. But, it appears he doesn't wish to excel, or perhaps be recognized as one who is capable of such work.
I had him tested at Sylvan, and at age 9 he tested in language skills of a 35 year old, and math skills of a 22 year old. He is a very positive person who is very considerate of others around him, (a Mom's dream) I just worry for his future.
2006-12-13 14:50:03 · 13 answers · asked by dbatesalbrecht 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Since he is only 13, the work option isn't available. Girls still kind of freak him out. I have shown him what the good life is like also. (I should have mentioned that too, sorry).
2006-12-13 15:06:12 · update #1
Unfortunately, I cannot put him into the higher classes as his grades are so marginal, it is completely not an option.
2006-12-13 15:07:10 · update #2
Eh... I really wish I could talk to him in person. I was a similar child myself, and wish I had cared a little more. It takes a lot of work to get through to a person like that. Overdo it and you might just push him away. Eventually he needs to realize that he is in charge of his own life and his parents are not always going to take care of him.
However, since I know nothing of the situation, my best suggestion is make him get a job, if he is of age, at a place like Walmart. There is nothing smart people detest more than being forced to do monotonous work under the supervision of less talented bosses.
My second best suggestion is that he needs to realize how priviliged he is to be in that situation. It happens so often in life: the star high school athlete, the most popular girl in school, the richest kid, never realize their fortune and develop a sense of entitlement. Such arrogance usually leads to some sort of downfall eventually in life.
Or bring him by my house sometime. I used to be a physics grad student, and I will definitely give him some problems that will not be boring.
By the way, this does not mean he is abnormal. Young people are of course evolutionarily designed to care much more about other things (sports, girls, friends, etc) than school.
Maybe girls still freak him out, but does he play a lot of video games, or watch TV, etc? Our capitalist society has become very good at figuring out how to focus in on the desires of young people and get them "addicted". Quite depressing.
But of course I really do not know your son; it is dangerous to give too much uninformed advice.
2006-12-13 15:02:58 · answer #1 · answered by s_e_e 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem as a kid too. I retained some info in class, but had trouble keeping interest in some classes that were too hard for me or I just wasn't interested in. I hated and was totally stubborn about doing my homework.
My mom wanted to kill me at times I think. I frustrated her soooo much. I actually frustrated myself too.
I didn't get better until Highschool, then the reality of wanting to go to college kicke dn a little, but I still had some issues in certain classes.
Because of my "not -so-hot" grades I only could get into a community college at first. There is where I finally woke up and got to working really hard in all my classes. I got a perfect GPA my entire first year and made the deans list the whole time I went there. I then went to UNO(Omaha, Nebraska) and got my B.A
in Interior design. I guess you have to want it bad enough. Not much of a solution...I know.
I guess I basically wanted you to know that no matter what happens with his grades, there is always still hope for him....Especially with that positive attitude.
Maybe he just needs to find something he can put his heart into, that he genuinely cares about and something that inspires him. Maybe that will motivate him? I have always been a big optimist myself. Even when my grades were poor I was always really great at being a good-hearted person , and a good friend to people of all ages.
By the way I don't work in Interior design anymore. I had a change of heart and decided my positive attitude would do a lot more good in childhood education. I then got a job as a special needs aide for handicapped children. This job is perfect for me and I am positive I will stay doing it until I retire. I love my job and my kids are awesome! Just don't lose hope, I bet time is the ultimate answer for a kid like him.
2006-12-13 15:14:50 · answer #2 · answered by Cuppycake♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is not in highschool his grades do not matter. So long as he is passing let him be. Actually it is really only your last year, maybe two in highschool that count. And often in the US it is just SATs.
He will work hard when there is something in it for him. And if there never is (like a desire to go to college) he will never get A's. Also if after he graduates highschool he decides he made a mistake he can apply as a mature student after a two to three years.
Encourage him to pursue his education in his own time based on his own interests. Try to foster a love of learning outside the school environment, that will follow him the rest of his life and have far more effect on his ability to suceed in life. He who learns and adapts to new things gets promotions.
School is really just government funded babysitting. Let him be.
2006-12-13 15:02:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to relate to him in terms of him being smart and the rest of his classmates being idiots. Something like "I remember when I was in high school, I thought all of my classmates were so dumb." Then let him know that if he doesn't work hard, he will not get into a good college, and will forever be in classes with a bunch of idiots. We all know that dumb people are everywhere, no matter what level you are at, but this might help. Getting away from dumb people can be quite the inspiration.
2006-12-13 14:56:25 · answer #4 · answered by siegrisj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's getting straight As, isn't in legal trouble, not doing drugs,and is a good kid... leave him alone. He needs to be a kid for now and have some fun. He will find his own motivation in his own time. Pushing him too hard could backfire on you. He sounds happy, so let him be. The right "thing" just hasn't lit a fire under his butt yet. Congrats on having a good kid.
2006-12-13 15:45:41 · answer #5 · answered by ihave5katz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that in this world you cannot waste youur talent, it is the biggest sin you can commit against yourself. He should also know that even though money isn't everything, you need it to survive. Also he should know that persuing a life of education and academic achievement can be very rewarding if he really is that smart.
2006-12-13 14:55:56 · answer #6 · answered by adrixia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably depressed because of a GIRL problem. Try talking to him about that. But don't try to force it out of him. Instead give him examples of problems you had with girls growing up and how you got over them.
Or maybe he just needs to skip a grade because the schoolwork is too easy.
2006-12-13 14:55:34 · answer #7 · answered by Agent Smith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should just let it be... By the time he reaches grade 11 he will be more concerned about the future and probably pull his act together... I know I sure did...
2006-12-13 15:31:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have heard of stories like this...maybe he is just bored with all the easy work...i would suggest getting him in higher classes with more challenges
2006-12-13 14:53:11 · answer #9 · answered by amyw7313 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe he would be motivated after doing some voltunteer work somewhere
2006-12-13 15:04:35 · answer #10 · answered by desert_rose1274 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋