I am seeking advice as to how to help a very close friend of mine (I was her bridesmaid). She has recently married and had a baby boy. She loves both her husband and her son dearly.
She is, however, feeling unstimulted and a little upset, and I am unsure as to how to help her. She is studying uni externally, however she has taken a break this semester while she had the bub. She has tried to get a head start on next semester's work, however she is finding it very hard. She tells me that she sits down at her desk to work, but the the baby wakes up or cries and therefore she has to stop her study to attend to his needs. (An occupational hazard of having a 3 month old around, I imagine!)
She and I both understand that some of this frustration is normal after a significant life change, and she is adjusting to having bub around. We live ~1000km apart, so I cannot provide practical help such as looking after bub, cleaning etc.
She has made friend with other mums in the area (cont..)
2006-12-13 14:48:43 · 4 answers · asked by a_friend_25 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She has made friends with other mothers in the area, however she has significantly different interests and views on life. Whilst she is perservering with these frinedships (also so bub will have friends to play with), I feel that these social outings are more a source of frustration for her more than relaxation. Many of these women are content to watch daytime TV and are not ambitious or forward thinking. As I said, my friend is perservering but she misses the intelletual converstations, challenging ideas and cutting edge issues she used to have much greater contact with.
I have given her pamper packs, wine etc (which have been well received!) and as I mentioned before, it kills me that I cannot help her out in a more practical way by looking after bub or taking her out for coffee.
At the moment, I am continuing to do what I have always done-be a friend and have long chats on the phone. Does anyone who has been in a similar situation have any advice as to anything else I can do
2006-12-13 14:56:42 · update #1
Thanks for advice, I should add that she lives in a small country town (thus the external study). There aren't many services there, and she delivered the baby in another town.
2006-12-13 15:01:57 · update #2
I guess you can pray for her and tell her you'll always be there for her?
2006-12-13 14:53:43 · answer #1 · answered by G K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have her contact a new mothers support group. Perhaps the hospital where she gave birth could help.
Another great way to handle the stress of juggling all her roles is to sign up for a "Baby and Me" yoga class, swimming class or exercise class. She will meet more new moms that she will have a lot in common with. From there they could plan group outings and babysitting to help her out.
You could send her a gift certificate to a local salon for her to get away for an hour and pamper herself.
2006-12-13 22:57:00 · answer #2 · answered by Patricia D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can provide an ear for her to voice her frustration. If you are not a bride and mother yourself, you cannot presumably help her alone because you cannot relate. But if you are a bride and a mother yourself, you can share the things that helped you get through your tough times. Try to make her laugh whenever you can. Send emails (email jokes) whenever possible. Call to check up on her, send her gifts through the mail that can help the whole family. Like a gift certificate to a spa. Encourage her to talk to those other mothers!
2006-12-13 22:55:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should try to get a suspension for her studies. It's too much to deal with at the same time. Usually, universities will allow you to take a break at times of overwhelming circumstances without cancelling your degree.
2006-12-13 23:10:38 · answer #4 · answered by John 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋