i just found out one of my friends, celena is not a virgin anymore. she lost it on friday to one of my other not as close but still friends trey, and it grosses me out. celena is only 12 and she is cheating on my other friend logan. logan doesnt know it yet. he is in 6th celena and trey are in 7th. trey is really upset that he did it and regrets it. if my mom finds out i probably cant be friends with celena anymore. i found out at recess today. it freaks me out because i was just talkin to her at lunch. im really worried and i dont think i should be friends with her anymore. if we stay friends and my mom finds out ill get n sooooo much trouble. help!
2006-12-13 14:34:42 · 15 answers · asked by Rita 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I'm still trying to get past "recess" and "sex" being used in the same paragraph. I would say, if you don't think you should be friends wih someone, and you think your mom would be upset with the friendship, then you probably should end the friendship.
2006-12-13 14:42:16 · answer #1 · answered by ♥N,K,E&DJ'§ Mommy♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't stop being friends with someone because of their sexual behavior. Sex is not a dirty nasty thing and you shouldn't look at your friend any differently. She is still a person. But if it makes you uncomfortable just let Celena know that. So she won't talk about it in front of you. Give yourself a chance to process the information. And if her having sex makes you that uncomfortable that you cannot see Celena for the person she is, then maybe you should move on.
2006-12-13 22:38:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all there should be no reason that you should get in trouble for your friends actions if you had not part in planning it or making it happen. If your parents as you about it tell them your true feelings about it and the fact that it grosses you out.
Sex is not something to be taken lightly and at her age should not be going on.. but that is not for you to take care of. Also cheating is WRONG and your friend needs to own up to her boyfriend about it. He has a right to know she is not faithful. However neither of these things is your problem. You were not involved or helped plan it so you are are not responisble to clean it up.
If you cant live with the fact that you know and her boyfriend doesnt I would suggest that you tell him you found out some disturbing news and he needs to speak with her. I would leave it at that.
As far as friendship goes, that is up to you to decide. People make mistakes and live their own lives. If you cant be comfortable with someone who is sexually active and you find yourself unable to be around her then you need to tell her that you cant be friends anymore.
Be honest with her about the reasons you cant and try to tell her as openly and honestly as you can. You do not have to remain friends with someone if you dont want to.. but you do have to remember that how you end it, how you act afterwards and the way you treat that person DOES reflect on you. The more class and grown up actions you show the better it is for you.
Do not talk about her behind her back, do not spread the information around and do not act in a mean mannor towards her later. Just treat her as you would a stranger you havent met. Nice but not interested.
Good Luck.. hard choices.
2006-12-13 22:45:28 · answer #3 · answered by Frenchie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think that she is a bad influence to you, best to stay away from her. It is possible that your mother will command ytou to stay away for your own protection. She may be concern that you will follow Celena's footstep and bring home baby. Your mother is not ready to be a grandmother yet.
Hope someone else offering a better answer for you.
2006-12-13 22:40:27 · answer #4 · answered by codeworx7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can stay friends with her but always be firm on your ground, fight for what you believe in. Do not be influenced in doing things that you don't like. Develop a strong personality. You can't judge your friends as good or bad by just doing that. You should remember to be responsible for your actions or pay child support later.
2006-12-13 22:40:07 · answer #5 · answered by Mike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. This is young to be losing your virginity. I guess just keep your distance from this girl. She is in some deep trouble if she is losing her virginity at the age of 12. Try to make some new friends, and steer clear of this group of people. Good Luck!
2006-12-13 22:38:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
does what she is doing go against YOUR values? while what your mother has to say is important if you are still under 18, it is really about how YOU feel about it. it is your life and your friendship. personally, i think sex at that age is way too soon. i did not have my first sexual experience until i was 19. but how does she feel about it? i think you need to find that out and then ask yourself how you feel about the whole situation.
2006-12-13 22:40:50 · answer #7 · answered by darthchaosdelicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well thats a tough situation. Talk to her about it, see what she thinks. Be careful with the time you spend with her. You can still talk to her but you dont need to be soo close.. Set up boundaries and stick to them. Let your mom know and tell her what you think. Let her know how you feel about staying aqaintaces with her. Of coarse if your friend needs someone to talk to you need to be there for her, but dont let her influence you. Be Blessed!
2006-12-13 22:39:09 · answer #8 · answered by Mighty4theLord 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what your friend does is really her own business, and it's best to just keep yourself out of it.
If her actions really bother you so much or she is trying to get you to go against what you believe in then yes move on. It's pointless to sit there and pass judgement down on her, won't change anything.
2006-12-13 22:41:16 · answer #9 · answered by gypse76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you value her friendship, stay friends. Talk with her about how it bothers you that she's taking these actions. If you think you're falling apart and value the relationship of your mother, distance yourself from her.
2006-12-13 22:37:36 · answer #10 · answered by Rewind 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋