What is the best way to get over a woman who turns out to have never loved you at all?

Question

I've been friends with this girl for two years, I developed feelings for her and over the summer we had the startings of what I thought was a relationship. When the summer ended, we got caught up in the college process but I still thought there was something there. We still hung out like really good friends with the potential for something more. Now she admitted the other day that she does have a boyfriend (not me), and yet despite the heartache I feel, she still acts how we used to act. I realize now what I should've long ago, she's never really had any of the reciprocal feelings that I had for her. I have no way now of telling her how I feel because I know she'll reject me and then our friendship will be ruined. So how can I move on? Keep in mind, I live in a small town and it's hard to meet people. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Answer 1

I think the first thing is to remind yourself of that every chance you get. She never had those feelings, so she never really hurt you. It doesn't sound like you are capable of maintaining a casual, friendly relationship with her, so until you are, occupy yourself with other people. Small town or not, I am sure you can make another friend or too.

G' luck.

Answer 2

....and then I go and spoil it all by saying something
stupid like, "I love you"...
That's a phrase from a '60s song by Frank and
Nancy Sinatra. You should hear it. It may help you.
Listen, since you don't make the cronology of this
relationship very clear, it's difficult to understand
how this happened to you.
You infer that you two were close friends.
I can't understand why she didn't tell you about
her boyfriend.
When did she pick him up?
Was it before you met her, during your friendship
with her, or after the college business??
Two years! Geez!! You didn't know she had a
boyfriend??
It's hard to tell. I can't even begin to tell you why
she kept that important aspect of her life from you.
Did you ever ask her if she was involved with some-
one?
I seem to have more questions to ask you than
answers. I don't want to ask anymore!
Here's the deal.
You're on the outside looking in.
You don't like what you see.
You need to change the picture.
I don't know how you feel about her now, but
you need to resolve this soon.
Find a way to tell her how felt about her without
hurting her feelings and her feeling sorry for you.
Maybe you didn't express you're desire for her
soon enough and she got tired of waiting. Who
knows.
Your dignity and self-respect are at stake here.
Be the gentleman that I know you are, and be
happy for her.
If you still want her friendship, you must respect
and honor her feelings. Be there when and if
she needs you.
Only time will tell if this relationship she's in will
last.
In the mean time, you need to accept the current
situation as it is and be kind to yourself.
Take what you've learned from this experience
and move on to something new.
It's not the end of the world.
Eventho, like you said, your choices are limited,
love is every where. You just need to look beyond
the box you seem to be in.
Once you do this, you will find that you will be a
stronger and better person for it.Your confidence
will be renewed and you will assert yourself to
whatever it is you want. There is more to you
than you realize.
Please don't forget to ask your next prospective
girlfriend if she's involved with someone.
It will make things much easier for you to declare
your feelings for her. Don't forget!!!
Best of luck and wishes to you.
I hope you fare well.

Answer 3

i mean.. it would not hurt to tell her how you feel. are you sure that it would ruin your relationship with her? if so, she does have a boyfriend. if you tell her how u feel about her.. then some of the weight would be lifted off ur shoulders.. if it were to ruin ur relationship/friendship with her.. then it really should not matter because you ARE trying to move on. in order to move on.. you need some space. if u keep on talking to her, then it will be worse on ur part and a lot harder to move on. just pre-occupy yourself with old hobbies or something.. maybe go out w/ friends.. usually friends are there to help you and help u have a good time. good luck with that. hope everything is well in the end.

Answer 4

Keep busy and meet new people. Avoid hanging out with this lady friend of yours for awhile, and just explore the opportunities you have right now. You have this whole college experience in front of you, and there's so much to do. Join clubs, form study groups, etc., and just make sure you're so busy having such a good time, you won't even have time to think about her.

Answer 5

well sweetie i'm sorry to hear that ur going thur ur hard time .. but it will get better! well i live in a msall town(BFE) ha ha and its hard to meet new people but thats what the net is for .. i cant met anyone from here in my lil peeon town cuz either i'm kin to them or i know them too well.. ha ha i hate gossip! ha ha anywasy i would try the net and then go to different places like thur ur churhc or whatever else there is to do .. just MOVE ON!

heres some webcites that might help..
friendfinder.com
friendsation.com
okcupid.com


Good luck and if u need more help feel free to im me

Answer 6

Start making other friends. Slowly do things with other people or maybe in groups.

Answer 7

i am in a simaliar bind at this moment, i the only real thing that helps me is knowing that there is always hope. remember that you are her friend, and that you at least have that. maybe you will get lucky and she will have the same feelings

Answer 8

the best way to heal a broken heart is to look for another love.. you need to start looking for another lady friend. and who knows, things might get better this time.

Answer 9

You are a fool.You are luck it lasted so long.Women like her are too smart for naive men like you.