English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

i married to a man who has emotional abuse problems. he has anger problems and i have been dealing with it for 2 years now..he has started classes but its almose to late..he is in mississippi and i live in KY with my parents now. he wants to make it work but i just feel that things are never going to change and that im throwing away my whole future. im only 23 years old...i just recently met a guy that is older and has his head on straight, and i realize that is what i want...Im not saying that this guy and me are dating or messing around..it has just made me realize what i need....has anyone ever had to let go when you still love someone so deeply..,.,

2006-12-13 13:39:52 · 28 answers · asked by leahr1820022002 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

28 answers

Do not feel bad!
You are doing the right thing by letting this guy go. Abusive guys rarely change, and it takes a miracle, A life changing kind of thing. If you found someone with thier head on right. go with that.. they will treat you right.

2006-12-13 13:47:29 · answer #1 · answered by Amneh 2 · 1 0

Marriage is really hard to maintain. There is nobody that can say marriage is easy. YOu have to ask, "yourself why did you get married to this guy?" Why did this guy change to be the person he is now?
I was an abusive person. My wife and I were totally different when it came about living conitions and communication. It led to fights in a physical and emotional abuse. We have been married for almost 10 years.
One day, I actually walked away from a problem. My wife somehow felt threatened and called the cops. When I returned home, I was arrested. I could of challenged.it. My wife did not press charges but the state did. I pleading guilty and accepted to do go to counseling. I tell you that going to counseling did help. Knowing my experience, what others go through, and getting taught to cope with problems has helped me this day with my wife, my child and my workplace.
What I am trying to say is people can change. You say when or why he does it. There are times it is too late to change and then again it is not.
You have to follow your heart. Be true to yourself. If that other man is good for you, make sure your heart is telling you that and not try to find someone that was like your first man on how you guys started.
To say good-bye, you just got to let go if you want too. Put your foot down, file for divorce. Do not try to lead him to another direction.

2006-12-13 13:51:55 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0 0

yes i had to make the decision to get a divorce when i still loved and always will in a way. we must leave the abuse, the unhappiness, if we are lucky enough to find someone else, who will treat us better, than we shouldn't stay just because we still may have feelings for the one who hurt us. someday your husband may be that man, but he isn't now, and hasn't been so it's okay to think of your future, and your happiness. u have no guarantees that your husband will change, u are only 23 and need a life without abuse, can't blame u if u aren't willing to invest anymore time in something that has caused u great pain.

2006-12-13 13:50:07 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0 0

Honey just do us all a favor,go with what your heart tells you to do,life is to short to worry about trying to make other people happy before yourself,do you like this new guy??does the sparks fly??well than,take these sparks and make a big fire with them to dry out the tears from all the OLD emotional abuse,start fresh..I lost the woman of my dreams by me doing the same to her.(my anger was that i never had any money) I still don't,but Ive leaned to except the things that the big man above gives you and deal with it.

2006-12-13 13:58:07 · answer #4 · answered by J.B.1972 6 · 0 0

The way I managed to say goodbye was to tell myself that it was the end of a chapter - I wasn't closing the book. That was the only way i could go through with it - if I left the possibility that, one day, it might be different and we'd start a new chapter. So I divorced him while I still loved him and then gave myself time to recover.
Turned out it actually was the book that was shut that day, but that's ok now.

2006-12-13 13:55:09 · answer #5 · answered by carokokos 3 · 0 0

Letting the person go even if you love them deeply is maybe the best thing to do not only for yourself but for him also. You are still young.. realizing what you want in life is the best thing yet you have to figure out.... don't let emotions get in the way of your future... you already did that once... don't let it happen again.

2006-12-13 13:47:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

I believe if you made the commitment to get married that you should stay married. I would suggest stying seperated and give him milestones and timelines. If he makes it to the end, then you need to get back with him. You say you love him so why dont you act like it instead of just giving lip service to strangers on the internet.

If on the other hand he does not make progress, then you can think about leaving him.
In the meantime, you need to stay away form all others and give it a fair shot instead of lining up your backup plan.

2006-12-13 13:47:36 · answer #7 · answered by MrWiz 4 · 0 0

Abusers don't change they just pretend to long enough to get you sucked back in.. he only cares about his ego and losing control over you and you are just an object if he has been abusive. Leave him now it is the SMARTEST move and most positive thing you can do!!!! (I tried 3 times to leave mine.. then found out he was hurting my kids so I left.. So leopards don't change thie spots.. you are not wrong to love him.. but loving someone doesn't mean Allowing them to hurt you. When you love someone you don't stay and put up with that. Good luck! )

2006-12-13 13:46:01 · answer #8 · answered by enquiring mind 2 · 0 0

Yes. There comes a time when you have to put your self respect and sanity above the emotion. I divorced mine whilst still very much in love, but there was simply nothing else I could do.
Am now remarried to a very stable and loving man - whilst ex, despite all the promises, has gone from bad to worse.

My heart goes out to you.

2006-12-13 13:45:21 · answer #9 · answered by granderprix 1 · 0 0

I will love my ex husband for the rest of my life. Leaving him was a difficult decision, but I knew that it was better for me to be alone with my dignity then together with someone who doesnt love me the way I deserve to be loved. It would have made it so much easier if I hated him, or if there had been a huge fight or something. But at the end of the day I knew what I had to do for myself

2006-12-13 13:44:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

fedest.com, questions and answers