Well, my fiance and I had a very ruff begining... but everything ended up for the better. My parents never really liked him from the begining, and a very long time ago i thought he wasnt good enough for me.He ways toward me in the begining weren't "so great"but anyway, I ended up giving him another chance and here we are 3 years later as happy as can be and we're engaged... I have no doubt in my mind that he loves me, I know he loves me because he has done everything to prove that to me. Now my parents are the ones who dislike him and the tell me he is no good for me and that I am going to unhappy with him. I am so scared because I know that most of the time parents are right. But, they dont know my relationship... the only see whats on the outside.. but now I am thinking twice about things and I dont know if its because my parents have put so much negativity into my mind.... I am so confused!!
2006-12-13 13:34:50 · 15 answers · asked by Carla A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree dear. Your parents are "wise" it only comes from experence. Beware! If your parents usually are right I would be scared too! Find out exactly why they don't like him. Your probably makeing excuses for his actions.
2006-12-13 13:42:31 · answer #1 · answered by BonBon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you know if he truly treats you like a queen. If you can picture him getting your slippers when you are 40 and don't feel well, or telling you to stay put while he goes and gets you dinner, then you have found a winner. No one wants a bad boy husband when they are 40.
Parents are almost always right, so listen to what they say. If they think he's such a bad guy, as him what he's done to give them that impression. Tell them to be candid with you because you truly care about their opinion. Start a long dialogue and hopefully you can get to the real heart of the matter.
2006-12-13 13:49:51 · answer #2 · answered by luscious_pineapple19 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, you may feel that they don't know what your relationship is really like but sometimes all it takes is appearances. I was with a guy for 4 years, my parents disliked him the whole time. In the end, I realized what they were saying and I moved on with my life.
Parents aren't always right but the majority of the time they know what they are talking about. Have you sat down with them and asked them exactly what it is that they dont' like about him or your relationship? Don't be one sided when you hear the answers. Really think them through and step out of the box. I'm sure your parents have good reasons for disliking him. Love, even puppy love, is blind.
2006-12-13 13:43:25 · answer #3 · answered by Bran 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people say--and they're probably correct--that every job in the world is a sales job. No matter what your profession, you have to sell yourself, your ideas and your skills. The same is true when you meet your sweetheart's family. In a perfect world, they would instantly recognize your refined character and sincere qualities. But do you really want to chance it?
Instructions
•STEP 1: Wait until the time is right. Try not to meet the family too soon. Be sure you're serious about the relationship so that you can deal with them sincerely.
•STEP 2: Find out whom you will be meeting. Memorize their names. Addressing people by name is absolutely vital and an easy way to make your social skills and manners visible. Know the expected form for addressing the parents ("Mr. Snodgrass," "Sir," "Buster").
•STEP 3: Meet at a neutral location, if possible. This should be less stressful than going to their home. A restaurant familiar to you is a good option. However, be prepared to defer to the parents' preference. If you initiate a restaurant meeting it will probably be your obligation to pay.
•STEP 4: Absolutely be on time. If you're late, it will almost certainly be viewed as disrespectful to them and your mate. If there's any chance that you will be late, notify someone as soon as possible. Be sure your cell phone is charged up and you have their number. If you can't make the appointment, and you can't notify them, plan to be either dead or on life support when they locate you.
•STEP 5: Bring a small gift. Find out from your mate what would be appropriate. A bottle of wine, especially at a family dinner, is almost always a tasteful offering.
•STEP 6: Dress for the occasion. Have your mate tell you exactly what to wear. Don't rely on subjective descriptions like "casual" or "dressy." If your mate tells you to wear your dark suit, shut up, put on the suit and make the most of it. You've got the rest of your life to show what a slob you are.
•STEP 7: Show an interest in the family. They will probably want to know about you, but try to steer the conversation to their interests and activities as well. Avoid talking endlessly about yourself.
•STEP 8: Tell stories that highlight the fine qualities of their son/daughter. This will elevate you to worthy status due to your ability to appreciate such quality family traits.
•STEP 9: Avoid sensitive issues. Religion, politics, race relations, foreign affairs, and the behavior of kids today are all issues guaranteed to start trouble. If you initiate a discussion on one of these topics at a first meeting, you probably deserve to be single. On the other hand, if asked a direct question, you have no choice but to answer honestly. State your position once, and avoid being drawn into an argument. Remember not to swear.
What To Look For
•The right time
•Neutral meeting place
•A small gift
•Safe conversation
Overall Tips & Warnings
•Above all, be yourself. If you're not naturally the life of the party, don't try to be one now.
•Don't put too much pressure on yourself. No one expects you to be perfect. Thoughtful and polite is good enough, no matter what else happens.
•Avoid groping your girlfriend or boyfriend in public. Keep physical contact to a minimum to show the folks you love their child for more than just her or his body.
2006-12-13 13:42:54 · answer #4 · answered by Christine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes parents can be wrong as well. maybe they only remember the bad times when you two were fighting. if they see now the good things he is doing and still doubt then why dont you and your fiance sit down and have a heart to heart talk with them.sometimes it takes time for people to get to know each other.if you love him and he treats you good then you may have to overlook your parents because they already lived their life and now you will have to live yours.
2006-12-13 13:43:31 · answer #5 · answered by jbearbooboo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have the same problem but im not engaged. we aswell have a very rough start but my mum moved away after that so she only met him when we were fighting all he time.
i think the bes tthing to do is sit your parents down with you and him and try and get them to know each other. thats the only way they can see he is a good guy. if they still cant after youve tried (more then once) then i dotn know what else you can do. but just try to get them to know the guy you know.
2006-12-13 13:37:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone at some point needs to live their own life according to their own feelings. I suggest trying to distance yourself from your parents opinions if they are not allowing you to be you. Find something other than your relationship to discuss with them to keep the family close. Otherwise it's just time to live your own life and deside what you want out of it and with who you want to do that with.
2006-12-13 13:47:07 · answer #7 · answered by streetlevelinfo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try having your fiance over for dinner. Have him bring a bouquet of your mothers fav flowers, and something nice for your dad. Have him dress nice, but not TOO nice, and let them all talk. If they really want you to be happy, I think they will accept him. Also, don't tell them. Let them be suprised
2006-12-13 13:38:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
they're only looking out for your best interest. don't be mad at them. i think that it's kinda cool that your parents care enough to even say something. they are probably going off the fact that you weren't too interested in the beginning.
2006-12-13 13:40:16 · answer #9 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't help with negative thoughts thrown at you when you honestly believe you are happy.
Parents aren't always right.............they just think they are all the time. :-)
IF your happy, I'd suggest telling your parents that you know you and your heart! Then, take the plunge!!
2006-12-13 13:40:19 · answer #10 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋