My ex-husband divorced me in Febuary it finalized in July. Now I have an 18 month old daughter and a 4 month old. This Thanksgiving a nice looking guy I met through a guy I work with asked me to date him and now we are serious and he wants to marry me. The trouble is that he is getting deployed in Febuary on a dangerous mission and he has always wanted a family and isn't sure if he can have kids. My ex is stalking me and harrasing me and trying to take my kids from me and it would be a plus if we were married financially and for the support he can give. Should I take the plunge and just get married?
2006-12-13 13:29:50 · 30 answers · asked by Elizabeth B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He isn't getting xtra money we are both in the military. He is the nicest man iv'ever met and i'm falling for him just scared of love.
2006-12-13 14:25:47 · update #1
No offense but I wouldnt go with strangers' opinions. Thats a life changing decision. Follow your heart. ONLY you know the whole story anyway. Good luck in whatever you decide to do and dont regret anything because everything happens for a reason :) Let your decision be a life lesson whether it be bad or good, learn from it :)
2006-12-13 13:34:29 · answer #1 · answered by Fearfully & wonderfully made 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Should you JUST get married? Are you serious? You have known the guy for a month????? You are NUTS!!!! First of all, let me tell you if he is getting deployed in February, you will never last!!! Deployments only make bad or unstable relationships worse. My husband has been deployed a little over 2 months and our relationship was incredibly strong and it still is! But we got married because we were in love and we love each other. Not because of money!
P.S. Be careful because he could only want to marry you because he would then get extra money every month. DO NOT MARRY THIS GUY.
2006-12-13 21:42:09 · answer #2 · answered by His Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you just met this guy over the Thanksgiving holiday, that is way too soon to be thinking of getting married! Are you nuts? You need to take care of your other issues with your ex before you jump into another relationship..Your current boyfriend only wants to marry you now because he is going away and wants to ensure that you are only going to be his..Not a good reason..When he gets back and you two are in love, then maybe that will be a good time to start thinking of marriage..Good luck
2006-12-13 21:36:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love him or will this just be a business transaction? I think if you love him truly you should go for it and be positive... He will be back. He is trained or he would not be getting deployed for something dangerous. If you don't love him and do not have the same feelings, regardless of financial circumstances, you should not. It seems you have a lot of baggage with your ex and issues that need sorting out.
Really as much as advice from outsiders can provide you with some perspective, only you can answer this and sort this for yourself.
I wish you all the best either way you go.
2006-12-13 21:34:50 · answer #4 · answered by smile_girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you only just met him. I'd give it some time. sounds like you want to marry him only for financial reasons. You don't even know the guy. If the ex is stalking you you need to call the cops. being married is going to stop that. If my ex-mate was marrying so soon after meeting them I'd be trying to get full custody of my kids too.
2006-12-13 21:35:49 · answer #5 · answered by Babe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your asking does he really love me in the beginging of your question that's your answer right there! Marriage isn't about any of those things your talked about above! It's about so much more and if you get married without a rock solid base you will end up divorced. Good luck and go with what your heart is telling you! ~ Katie
2006-12-13 23:10:40 · answer #6 · answered by Katie S. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. You have made it very clear....you just need support. I did not see one time in there where you even said you loved him. As far as your ex, get his butt in jail. File a restraint against him. You have not been on your own long enough to really know what you want. I have been divorced 2 1/2 years and I still am not sure.
2006-12-13 21:41:59 · answer #7 · answered by c_my_blueeyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It souds like you are gettin into this for all the wrong reasons. Think about it, I didnt read the word "Love" in your blog not one time. What does that mean? You SHOULD have a mindset of never getting divorced and they way i see it, you are looking at another broken heart in a few years. Do yourself a favor and rethink getting married and ask yourself what is the defitnition of MARRAGE
2006-12-13 21:36:56 · answer #8 · answered by melinda g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marry him only if you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him. Will he be a good father to your children? Does he treat you like you're the best person in the world? Marriages of convenience never last, and only cause more pain then they tried to prevent. Look into your heart, and if you feel like he's the one for you, then marry him.
2006-12-13 21:40:47 · answer #9 · answered by kameka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, pure and simple.... You need some time to figure out who you are and what you need to do to take care of those two kids. Jumping on the first bean that walks by isn't addressing how YOU will deal with this situation. Give yourself and IT some time.
2006-12-13 21:34:32 · answer #10 · answered by gamerunner2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋