ok my best friend is pregnant. the father left. she turned to me for support. but i dont know what to do. she wants to move in and me to help raise it and all!!! what do i tell her. i dont want a kid but she needs help!
2006-12-13 12:53:20 · 12 answers · asked by * Miss Thang * 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
turn her down and get a new friend.
2006-12-13 13:01:10 · answer #1 · answered by masteryoda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i see your dilema. on one hand, she's your friend, and you want to help. on the other, well, too much help for someone can turn them into a burden on the helper. it could put pressure on and even damage your friendship. there are many places she can go for help, even though most people look down on it, such as the welfare office. in my opinion, if a woman (or any person) uses welfare only so long as as they NEED, not abuse it by never trying to get on their own feet. there are also programs for housing for pregnant women who the fathers have abandoned. most welfare offices can tell her her options in all this.
this may sound callous, but since it isn't your baby and you aren't the one who made the mistake of getting pregnant by a guy who was an @$$, you shouldn't have to raise the baby unless you want to. this is an opinion coming from someone who was once in your friend's situation. i never expected anyone else to help me raise my first child, nor did i really want anyone else to, especially not another man (i know you aren't a man).
maybe the way you can be there for her is to throw her a baby shower or be the one to convince her of her options or research programs for unwed moms for her.
2006-12-13 21:05:42 · answer #2 · answered by Mommyof4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help her get her feet on the ground and help her understand she can be independant with a child and a really great friend just be there for her you and the child could have a really great auntie relationship which is a very nice thing. But maybe have her there for a few days there is always welfare to help her, some mothers need the help till they can manage and having friends is very important
2006-12-13 21:04:29 · answer #3 · answered by hingebrigtson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the best thing your friend needs right now is the support of some one who she can trust to be there for her. If she came to you then you should be proud that she feels that she can trust you to be there for her. If I were you, I would help her out until she is confident enought to get her own job and her own apartment. We ll have to do things that we do not want to do. But trust me, in th end, it will be worth it!!!
P.S. if you agree to help your friend, tell me how it goes!!!!
2006-12-13 21:03:01 · answer #4 · answered by Nightfurry3000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do Not Feel obligated to help her. If u really dont want to help her just tell her. I would just walk away and not look back, she should of though about this before getting pregnant. She's pregnant not you.!!!
2006-12-13 21:01:46 · answer #5 · answered by RUDY THE RUDE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You job is only to give support... not to help her raise her child. She needs to learn how to do it on her own. It's not fair for her to ask that of you, it will only build resentment between you. Offer her whatever help you can, but this is up to her now.
2006-12-13 21:02:38 · answer #6 · answered by naenae0011 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is your BEST friend, then you wouldn't have a problem helping her out. I know that I would do it for my best friend. Would she do it for you? Don't just think about yourself, but try to help her. She really needs you right now.
2006-12-13 20:56:22 · answer #7 · answered by Mommy To Be in April 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her be truthful. Tell her you love her but you aren't ready for that kind of responsibility. you will be there for her but not 24 / 7 in your own home. Good luck Hun!! This is a hard one.
2006-12-13 21:02:39 · answer #8 · answered by luv3dbb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so explain to her that you are not ready to be around a baby that much....and tell her you can only help a little....Try to be there for her emotionally if nothing else=c) Moral support is very important in pregnancy...Help her to believe in herself and be sure to keep mentioning that she looks good!!! We allways like to hear that=c)
2006-12-13 21:07:51 · answer #9 · answered by butterflykisstangel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her the truth and tell her to try to get help from her family member. here my email address if your friend need a friend. efrain78223@yahoo.com
2006-12-13 21:09:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋