I went out tonight to a local bar & I almost got my butt kicked. Everyone was minding their own business like they should until this person(man) walked in dressed in womens clothing. The woman next to me shouted oh my God so I said whats the matter? She said look at the woman in the red shirt so I did & said yeh so what? She said are you an idiot thats a man? I said first off all I'm not an idiot & second of all who cares? The man next to her said I can't believe you're ok with that. Then I said well I can't believe you're such an ***hole. Then the woman asked me to step outside. Thank God the Bartender asked her to leave but is this really what you guys go through everyday & did I handle the situation right? I just didn't want them to hurt that mans feelings but I couldn't just agree with them out of fear. Please tell me what to do if that situation arises again?
2006-12-13 12:50:25 · 10 answers · asked by gitsliveon24 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
PS I'm not a very strong person unless I have a weapon but as small as I am I don't want to hear bigotry but I feel I'm helpless to stop it because I'm not strong
2006-12-13 12:59:43 · update #1
Well done, buddy. I'm a gay man--not only that, but I'm a gay BLACK man. I've been lucky in that, I've had very rare circumstances in which I've had to defend my right to be and think what I want to be. I never wish that on anyone to have to defend your beliefs against another person's ignorance. I think you did a fantastic job and it says a lot about your character.
Once again, well done, buddy....well done for sticking to your beliefs.
2006-12-13 13:30:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't have resorted to calling him a name after he called you an idiot, but you were right to stand your ground and say that you did not find anything wrong with it. After the man said that he couldn't believe that you were OK with it, I would have just said that how someone else dresses doesn't impact your life and that you do not need to point out a difference with someone else to make yourself feel better, and then simply walked away and maybe go up to the man wearing womens clothing and just have said hi so that others could see that you were not afraid of who he was and to give him a bit of reassurance.
Although gay people confront hatred everyday, it is not always a face to face encounter. Most hatred that we face is against us as a group of people and not individually, although I have had a few face to face encounters.
2006-12-13 21:14:21 · answer #2 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, you handled it poorly. And you should not call someone in a bar an ***hole. Alcohol removes inhibitions, which sometimes can be good, but most of the time not so good.
Instead of saying, "So what?" You should have said something like, "Oh, I see." That is not rude, not approving, nor is it condemning. Then she could not have made the next statement, because you didn't endorse or condemn. If they had continued to question why you weren't upset like they were, you could have said, "You know it must be really sad to be completely uncomfortable with your own gender." Which is true and is not confrontational.
2006-12-13 21:03:39 · answer #3 · answered by plezurgui 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yes, you did very well. I'd have done the exact same thing. Of course, with the woman wanting to fight you, I'd have had to ask her why, she just got through making fun of a guy dressed like a lady now SHE is the one trying to show how much of a man she is by threatening to beat someone up?
2006-12-13 21:22:55 · answer #4 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I applaud you for standing up for your fellow Happy Person but please don't get yourself hurt. You may have a weapon but the person in front of you may have a bigger one. (and this is how wars start, gentlemen....whoopsie, bad, Otter...) perhaps the use of the word a r sehole had something to do withb the hositily. I'm certain you could have chosen something better such as "I am okay with it, if you don't like it shut your eyes and leave." Of course in a volitale situation anything might have been misconstrued. Thanks for standing up for him though. Blessings.
2006-12-13 21:31:09 · answer #5 · answered by Mama Otter 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well don't cuss at the bigot that only brings you down to their level but yes you confronted a bigot and I am glad you did. Never escalate to violence. Just try to let people know you are offended by all bigotry be it racial, orientational or economically motivated. Bigotry it hatred and hatred can not stand in the face of righteousness.
2006-12-13 20:55:12 · answer #6 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Well Done !! I am so glad you came to no harm
Kind regards, Rose P.
2006-12-13 21:11:46 · answer #7 · answered by rose p 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You handled it perfectly! If I was there I'd give you a big hug!!!
2006-12-13 20:59:01 · answer #8 · answered by Eat At The Y 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you did great, I'm proud of you. and thanks for standing up to idiots we all appreciate it
2006-12-13 20:57:47 · answer #9 · answered by Ron N 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think u handled it well. thanks!!!
2006-12-13 20:56:07 · answer #10 · answered by RAINBOW 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋