I find him interesting. I'd like to hang out with him, but most advice I've gotten says not to because it's bad for my marriage. Well, what if this interesting person was female? Am I required to only start new friendships with women for the rest of my life, just because I'm married? If it's platonic, I don't think that's fair. It shouldn't matter, it sounds like gender discrimination! And if this guy wants more that doesn't mean he will get it!
2006-12-13 12:22:43 · 10 answers · asked by advicemom 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i can see where you are coming from, you only want to be friends and yeah if he was female it wouldn't matter one bit.
But see it from your husbands point of view what if he was spending all his time with a female, you wouldn't be too happy??
Why dont you just invite him over to dinner while your husbands there, if he has a wife invite her over 2. Ask him to do stuff while your husbands around and he should see he has nothing to worry about.
2006-12-13 12:25:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, where are you getting advice not to be friends with this man?
First question, did you ask for this advice? If so, why? If you are sure it's only platonic the question shouldn't even be coming up ...
The only advice/answer I can give is: What does your husband think? In a good marriage you should be able to talk these things over with your spouse if there is any question or doubt about how they would react.
2006-12-13 20:36:25 · answer #2 · answered by laurie888 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you don't need anyone's permission to be someone's friend no matter what sex as long as it's for friendship and nothing more. But it's always up to you on what kind of friendship you want to have with a guy or a girl. No matter if your single or married just depends on how the friend relationship goes. SO ahve as many friends as you want and don't listen to lonely, depressed people. Who can't find any friends.
2006-12-13 20:32:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Everything that you are saying about your friend that's he's interesting and you like to hang out with him. Why don't you feel like this towards the man that you are married to? You should be doing those things with your husband not this other man. Your husband should be your best friend. You need ask yourself these questions: what is lacking in my marriage that wants me to spend time with another man?, do my husband have time for me?, do we both communicate with one another?, Are me and my husband growing? If you answer those questions with a NO then something is wrong in your relationship. SOMETIMES WHEN THINGS ARE NOT RIGHT IN OUR OWN RELATIONSHIPS WE TEND TO FIND SOMEONE OTHER THAN ARE SPOUSES THAT WE TALK TO ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIPS. AND WHEN THERE IS A ATTRACTIVE GUY THAT IS WILLING TO LISTEN BEWARE!!!!! YOU ARE SETTING YOURSELF UP TO LEAD TO OTHER THINGS. IF IT IS PLATONIC (USING YOUR OWN WORDS) THEN WHY THIS MALE FRIEND NOT HANGING OUT WITH YOU, HUBBY, AND ONE OF HIS GIRLFRIENDS?
2006-12-13 20:48:42 · answer #4 · answered by jamaljamila 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay well from dis ... i hang wit mostly guyz i mean dont get me wrong, i have a ton of friends but it just most girlz gotta big mouth so i dont need drama in ma life! it shouldnt matter if you hang wit men because my boyfriend knows that my best friends are guyz soooo as long as he trustes you... dont take it up the a$$ or tell him not too HOPE IT HELPS or if that was yer question at all
2006-12-13 20:26:59 · answer #5 · answered by JASsMiiN. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So what is the point of seeking advice from people on ANSWERS
if you've already rejected MOST(your word) of the advice you've already got? The people you've already consulted have clearly detected something about you when you asked them this and it tells them that it means a relationship is going to present problems.(they are mirroring what you really feel yourself). So don't you see that you are really telling yourself that you are courting trouble if you pursue a relationship with him?
2006-12-13 20:27:46 · answer #6 · answered by Mukunda M 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
although you are married you are still entitled to have male friends. as long as the friendship doesn't interfer with your marriage there is nothing wrong with being friends with him.
2006-12-13 20:25:45 · answer #7 · answered by S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you and your husband would know if your marriage can handle it. If you are comfortable, and so is hubby, do what you think is right.
2006-12-13 20:33:09 · answer #8 · answered by knowitall 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
only thing i can say is follow your Heart
p.s if this advice helps you send me a email about how great my advice was at mrfine09@yahoo.com
2006-12-13 20:25:35 · answer #9 · answered by mrfine09 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's o.k. with you and your husband, then it's o.k. with me. I see nothing wrong here.
2006-12-13 20:26:02 · answer #10 · answered by classic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋