This is my husband's idea of fixing things: He "fixed" the leaking faucett in the bathtub by doubling the hose and securing it with duct tape. The faucett no longer leaks but I have to shower because the tub faucett has no water. He "fixed" the dryer exhaust by scooting the dryer to the middle of the floor instead installing a new exhaust hose that wouldn't collapse when slid against the wall. How can I get him to fix things right? We're not rich enough to get a handyman to do everything and I don't think I should have to learn to do everything while he sits and watches TV.
2006-12-13 12:17:55 · 22 answers · asked by ♥Pretty♥ ♥Kitty♥ 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you should to learn to do it yourself. look, i am a husband, and i know when my wife does something i haven't gotten to, it makes me feel bad. i should have done it ( be it right or ontime ) and these are things that she shouldn't have to do. be fixing his messups, he will gain the motivation to do things right.
2006-12-13 12:50:54 · answer #1 · answered by andrew646 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like what you want isnt just quality service, but for him to understand your values, your economy, and to buy into it and adopt it as his own.
The problem is that you are two different people, and to force something like that reduces the personhood of both. Some women dont like dirt, and will never love being in a garage and working on cars the way some guys do. Its an irreconcilable mismatch.
Sometimes, when made to clearly understand, it only takes a second and the change is permanent. That happens too.
Human beings are complex. There is no way that without understanding some human being can communicate to your husband your values in a way he can receive and adopt. It takes understanding, and insight that only come through the context of relationship.
My suggestion to you, check out a few books in the library that tell how it should be done, and read through and understand the problem, and the solution. Go to the hardware store, and price out the parts. Then present to your husband the solution ... that this is important enough to you for you to do it yourself, but that there will be places where you need his strength. Do what you can yourself, and where you cant, use his strength.
Do it completely, and it will both get you what you need in the way of repairs, and it will communicate to your husband the priority they have for you. This may or may not penetrate his heart, but its a way for you to get what you need.
Except for brute power, and some specific functions of biology, a woman can do anything a man can. Nuclear science was pioneered by a woman - Marie Curie. Watson & Crick stole the work of a brilliant young woman Rosilynd Franklin in discovering DNA. There is nothing at all that you cant understand about anything at all, if you are just willing to put your mind to it. That includes driers, showers, and home repairs.
2006-12-13 12:35:13 · answer #2 · answered by Curly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking to him and explaining to him that he is suppose to be the man of the house? Explain to him how you would like things decent. Ask him if he would assist you in doing so. Or simple ask him if he is planning on completing the job he started. If this doesn't work, then maybe I would bring up a friend whose husband has fixed something and explain how nice it look. Maybe this will spark some type of jealousy and he will start fixing things correctly. Good Luck!!!
2006-12-13 12:38:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with you-you should learn to do the repairs yourself. I used to do all the "handyman" things around the house while my so called "disabled" husband laid in bed and watched TV.
This training had me ready for the day that I was able to kick the lazy bum out and have the house to myself. I don't need a man to fix things for me. It is great if someone is willing to help, but I enjoy knowing that I am able to take care of things myself.
2006-12-13 12:37:35 · answer #4 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't afford a handyman but can you afford the repairs on the things he "fixed' wrong?
One time he's going to cause someone to get hurt.
Maybe if you pay someone a couple of times and he sees how much it costs he'll learn how to fix things....but maybe this just isn't something he's ever going to be good at.
2006-12-13 12:21:09 · answer #5 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell hubby to get up off his a_ss, and fix things right or don't fix anything at all,all he's doing is causing you more repairs
find a handyman in the local paper that will work with you on the repairs.
good luck:)
2006-12-13 13:13:44 · answer #6 · answered by msalb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a joint bank account? Withdraw some money, set it aside and tell him you did so because such and such needs to be taken care of and if he isn't going to then you will. And becuase he knows how and you don't, it will have to be done by a handi man. Maybe that'll light the proverbial fire under the butt!
2006-12-13 12:22:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him an ultimatum- either he fixes it the right way or you will call the handyman and he has to pay the repair.
2006-12-13 12:39:49 · answer #8 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This one is kind of hard. I guess if you get tired of his behavior maybe you should find someone who is more handy. I am not saying you have to leave him, but I do not think he is going to change much because people are the way they are.
2006-12-13 12:36:04 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain!!! My husband has "fixed" our toilet 7 times and I am still having to take the lid off and stick my hand in there to stop it from running!!
Good luck!
2006-12-13 12:21:27 · answer #10 · answered by deans_mom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him you dont want to have to treat him like a child and beg for him to do his house work. remind him of all you do around the house and plea for some help. explain you should not be the only one doing all this. if this fails to work ask him what its gonna take to get some help around the house. this is tough good luck!
2006-12-13 12:22:03 · answer #11 · answered by Lisa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋