How do I experiment without getting caught?

Question

I'm an attractive guy, who wants to meet other attractive man to date and see if I'm gay. I don't want to put my picture online, or go to clubs in my area, since I'm not sure if I am gay, and I don't want to be "outed" before I've figured it out myself. How can I figure this out? I've tried looking at guys on dating services, but there are no attractive men in my area on any of them.

Ok, let me add, that I fooled around with my friend when we were teenagers, but I didn't like it. Well that was a long time ago and I got married, but I can't stop thinking about guys. Oh, and I'm not a freak, nor does God hate me, I'm a christian who believes in Jesus, and God loves me no matter what and if you think otherwise, you're the one that's going to hell, since the Bible says not to judge, it's the same as being a murderer.

I never said I wanted to have sex people.

You people are wack, I said I got married, I didn't say I still was married. Besides she knows all about me and knew what I did before we got married, so screw all of you who are reading more into this than I wrote. As far as getting caught by God, He already knows my heart and what I might be or not, and you know what, He loves me anyway!

Ok, I'm going to close this question now since no one really read my thoughts. I don't want to have sex, and I'm not currently married, so I'm not going to give anyone aids, you dumb *** ***** who wrote that, even after you said some ok things. I just wanted to see what I would do in an evironment where most everyone would be gay, and to see how I would react in a dating situation. Guys who are boyfriends tends to freak me out, and I've never kissed a guy, but I can't help being attracted to men. I'l give this question another few hours to see if anyone really gets what I'm saying, cause so far, it's not happ'n

Answer 1

Try a phone dating service! I understand your need to be discreet and there are other guys like you who are ' curious'. With a phone dating service, your voice is what you'll use (rather than photos where you run the risk of being seen before you're ready) to sell yourself.
Take a chance and try a phone service. There are still guys that flock to them. And most of them are either really affordable or even free. This way, you can scan and listen to profiles and if there's someone who sounds remotely interesting then leave them a message. Everything is done over the phone up until you feel comfortable enough to venture out and meet in person. Create a profile and specify in grave detail what you're looking for and explain that you're in that curious stage and just looking to see what happens. It's a simple as that and you're in control the whole time.
Give it some thought and give it a try. Have fun and good luck, man.

Answer 2

How can you possibly date a gay guy if you are afraid being "outed". You have to go to these gay clubs and places to find a date or something. Since you have not found any attractive men in your area why not go to on a vacation and look for guys in other places far from your town. In this way, no one would recognize you and you can easily mix with the crowd without fear of being "outed". Just don't use your real name or address. Set up a dummy email account incase some asks for it. You can also chat online like in Yahoo Messenger.

By the way, if you are really attracted to men, physically and emotionally, there is a high probability you are gay or bisexual.

Good luck with your experiment. Hope you get the right conclusion :-D

Answer 3

If you are in a large enough city, you can go to gay bars in your area since it would be unlikely that you would run into someone that you knew. If you do not know any openly gay people and you were to see someone you knew, they would be as afraid of being outed as you are and most gay people do not out one another. You could also go to a nearby city there is one that is not too far away. As far as dating services, you could check out nearby cities as well since you are afraid of being outed before being sure of your sexual attraction. You could also check some dating sites and talk to someone else who hasn't posted a picture and ask them to send one to you if you are willing to do the same (this way, your picture will not be seen on the site but allows you both to know what the other looks like). I can relate to your fear of being outed as I was once in that position, but I have learned that most people do not care about another persons sexual attraction unless it is someone that they are dating. As far as you being unsure of being gay, ask yourself who you are attracted to without any societal pressures telling you that one is better than the other, with the only question being which gender you prefer. The only real way to figure it out is to first admit to yourself what physical aspects of another person turns you on the most, and if those physical aspects are those of a girl or a guy.

Answer 4

I honestly dont think you would have a problem if you went to a gay club. Plenty of Strait people go to gay bars, and you probably wouldnt be recognized on the street the next day. Id pick a popular busy place, that has a lot of traffic. Take a female friend with you, if you have one you can trust.

Answer 5

First off, you ARE gay. Straight men do not have thoughts like this. Straight men might find himself having homosexual thoughts once or twice, but it would never even occour to a straight man to DATE another guy or have a relationship with him. You are definitely gay. If you need some anonymity, you should go to a gay club or something that is at LEAST 2 hours away. And if you value your life, NEVER have sex without a condom. Read up on HIV to scare yourself into protecting your life the best you can. And ignore the B*TCH that said gays are freaks. She is trash.
------------
Just read the comments you just added. So I am editing my response. Now I think you should keep your dick in your f*cking pants, you're MARRIED and you're going to give your wife AIDS. I don't think your buddy Jesus would love that. Do her a favor and tell her she's risking her life by being with you.

Answer 6

First of all please don't listen to the insults being thrown at you here, these people have no right to judge you. I think if you are asking yourself these questions you probably are gay, but if you want to find out for sure I think one of the other answers here was good, go to a nearby town and go to a club there. Good Luck and Blessed Be.

Answer 7

First of all, what are these "so-called" christians doing the gay section...weird, but I digress...I would be glad to offer my services for experimentation. I am a Christian Bi-sexual and am comfortable with it. Whatever you do, be very careful who you explore with. If you run across one of these really hard-core sex freaks that do you hard and say "see-ya", you're gonna be left with a bad idea of what man to man sex is about..Also, you're gonna want someone patient and kind....Someone you pick up in a bar might just be too fast for ya...Hell I don't know....BIG LOVE! Kevin

Answer 8

if you are married and assuming you are attractive then you must have children. you are taboo in the gay lifestyle you have baggage a wife that you took vows with. how you posible do this too your wife and kids if you have any?/ and your father in laws and and mother in laws. and if you have any brothers and sisters. your making onme hell of a huge huge mitake here. how can you look at your wife who adores you and play these stupidd games?? your not gay and admitt and think long hard. you may need psycharticc help fast.

Answer 9

think of something like try a dating service and look for someone a little farther away

Answer 10

If you even have to ask yourself "Am I attracted to other men?" then you aren't.

That's just my opinion. Take it with a grain of salt, because I'm a straight female.