Been married for 6 years, Im a very happy father and husband. Thats why this shocks me so. Someone from my past whom I had strong feelings for just started at the same place of employment as my wife. When we were introduced, I felt very "strange" inside. My wife would like us all to go out together, but I cant, because I think Im still in love with this woman. This female from my past emails me and has been leaving voicemails to me, letting me know that I have the green light to go ahead with whatever.
I *cannot* loose my family, but I cant shake this feeling either. Ive been Dad and Hubby so long, I have forgotten how good it feels to be "a guy" again.
I know if I was left alone with this woman what would go down. But If I were to loose my family I would /slice.
Why am I even asking this question then, I already know what I have to do. Hah, its good to just type out your feelings sometimes..
Thanks for listening!
( I did seperate paragraphs in here, but they didnt show up, sorry
2006-12-13 10:58:28 · 20 answers · asked by Anonguy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do what you feel is right,hope it all works out for you! :)
2006-12-13 11:00:22 · answer #1 · answered by Bridgeridoo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your wife about your history with this woman, and tell your wife you are having strange feelings now. Your feelings might simply be the mutual chemistry you had years ago raring it's ugly head, which isn't necessarily a sign you are still in love with this woman, it's simply a sign that you are a member of the human race which at it's base is animal. Also, please remember that this other woman knows you are married and is still giving you the "green light". This sends a very strong message that she does not respect relationships, therefore she will also not respect any relationship she has with you. Don't be fooled. Your wife can make you "like a guy" again, trust me. Get into counselling before the temptation makes you lose everything you have. Don't respond to this woman- in fact, tell her you are not interested in any way and don't wish to correspond. Tell your wife you do not want to hang out with her- she will understand, especially if you share the news that you have been given the "green light" to go ahead with whatever. It sounds like it's time to get more interesting things going on in your marriage so that temptations like this are not temptations at all. Be strong and cut the temptation out of the picture completely. You will not regret it.
2006-12-13 11:18:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep your self together. Do not fall for this woman. I know it is temptation, but think of what you have to loose (and you have a lot to loose). If she wanted you, she should have stayed with you the first time so please leave her alone. Ask her to cease the calls and voice mails and emails. If you have to change your email address. You two should only speak to one another in passing (hello, how are you? good. goodbye). Imagine your wife finding about this and how hurt she (as well as your children) would be. Continue to be that good father and hubby and don't let no man (or woman) put asunder (remember that). Hope you make the right decision.
2006-12-13 11:54:24 · answer #3 · answered by Shay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is great that you are looking at this before something happens.
The best course would be to tell your wife everything about this woman from your past. Even let her know that the woman has been contacting you. Your wife can take care of it from her end at work.
Trust me, if you ask your wife to help you stay true to your family she will fight like a pit-bull dog to keep her family safe. You will not have to worry about the other woman having any contact with you, and you can then focus on making your family the center of your world.
2006-12-13 11:22:39 · answer #4 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do everyone a favor and stay away from this woman. Love is not a feeling. Love is a decision each and every day that you will live up to your promise and that you will be there for this person you've given your life to. Don't blame whatever you end up doing on feelings because that is just rubbish. Everything that you do on this earth is because of a decision you make. Now stand up and be the man you've always wanted to be and love your wife.
2006-12-14 04:21:54 · answer #5 · answered by question asker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said it yourself: you cannot lose your family. If you love your children and your wife, you have to let this other woman go. You wouldn't actually make your entire family, your children, suffer for a "potential," would you? You've got a good thing going.
Tell you what: if you want to feel like a "guy" again, be "Da Man." Get a sitter and arrange a romantic dinner for your wife. Go all out: flowers, candles, soft lighting, music (even if it's at home, chicks dig it). Treat her like a queen. Tell her the things you know you want to say. Sweep her off her feet! You ARE Da Man, ya know? Wives spend so much time being "wives" and "housewives" and "mothers," we need to feel like lovers, too. We crave it. I'll bet you reignite some of the passion that drew you to your wife in the first place. Go kick butt!
2006-12-13 11:16:27 · answer #6 · answered by KD 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay strong. Focus on your wife and family. They love you more than you know, even if they don't show it as well as you would like. This is just a passing infatuation, a glow from the past that means nothing.
If you must tell your wife that you don't feel comfortable being her friend. Tell the young lady that you are a dedicated husband and father and you would NEVER disrespect your family by betraying their trust.
Good luck and do the right thing.
2006-12-13 11:03:53 · answer #7 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do yourself a huge favor and break communication with this other woman ASAP. I made this mistake. Trust me if your as happy as you say you are your heading for a world of pain. That other feeling your getting.....it's most likely glorification of memories. Man, even just typing this out I'm getting sick. Do not talk with her any more. Pain pain pain. Danger Will Robinson DANGER. Go hug your wife. Kiss her and tell her how much you love her and kick that other chick to the curb and don't look back.
2006-12-13 11:11:23 · answer #8 · answered by Evolving 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's common for men to feel that way. we are a species that is natually driven to dominate many of the opposite sex. take solice in knowing that it is normal and should actually be expected of men but is not because of the peramiters that are put on us. all in all i would imagine what you truly miss is the hunt. the reason most marriages die down and lose passion is that the man does not have to seek to obtain his mate any more. the thought of the affair is not really what is exciting it is just that sensation of being put into man mode and our natural instincts come out. it's just a survival technique that it built into us. my suggestion it to find a challenge outside the family and attempt to tackle it. not like clean the garage but like run a marrathon or hike a mountain, go for the big promotion. not only will it fill that void but will also take your mind off the other women.
2006-12-13 11:09:23 · answer #9 · answered by salverai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't act on temptation,your gonna have that your whole life at some point or another.Think with your heart and your head,not the head in your pants.You should really do something nice for your wife or work on your sex life with her somehow.Family is everything ,cherish it,make the most of your time with them,and do whatever it takes to make your family a happy one.
2006-12-13 11:13:08 · answer #10 · answered by Uncertain 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dem's have taught them that it is easy to live off the tax payers dime, and that the nanny state will take good care of them with all kinds of free stuff. 800 black babies are aborted a day. Dem's don't talk about responsibility or accountability or teach family values.
2016-05-23 21:42:10 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋