parents going through split?

Question

Well hi this is my first time on here and i guess for the last three months i have been keeping everything in.
So i guess i will start. I am 15 and my parents have been split up for the last 3 months. You see the way it was done was kind of abandonment by my mother. See at the beginning of the school year around september she one day just left me and my father. She left a note to him and kind of didnt talk to us for about two weeks. i was so scared cause i had no idea what happened to her. At first i was angry and didnt care about what happened but now i miss her. The problem being is that she went to a different state (Florida)and is with her family there now. It has been established that she is never going to live in my current state (New York) I know i have to talk to her to let her know how i feel about what she did but it is hard. My mother and I used to be best pals, and i never really had a relationship with my dad. I am realy upset by this whole thing and do not know what to do

Thank you, and yes your right her actions are very selfhish and i am still puzzled over why she would leave you see that is not even the whole thing, i think the real reson why she left was over money because she always felt it was my fathers money and not hers and thats why she left to go to school and to make her own business. It also doesnt help that my sister recently got married and lives in Florida and my brother also followed my mother when she left. So i went from ahving a whole family to having just my father and these holidays are gonna be rough. I mean i never had a relationship with my fathe rso talking to him is hard and i honestly do not know how to comfront my mother. But thank you for your input

Answer 1

I know how you feel. I was 16 when my parents split. Seven years later things are better.
I would try to get a hold of your mom. Tell her that you need to talk to her but don't push her. Try to understand that she is hurting too. Leaving your family behind is never easy in this kind of situation. Divorce/separations are hard and painful for everyone involved. This may sound cliche, but time will eventually heal it. You need to make sure she understands your feelings, but also that you understand hers. If you need help in the mean time, try to see a counselor to work things out. I saw one after my parents split and it made the biggest difference. It was nice to have some one to sound things off of and get a different point of view on. Good luck, and happy holidays.

Answer 2

I am very sorry to know ur state, guy. But u seem to be a brave and mature lad. Keep up the strength!

It does feel wrong of ur mom to have left u without saying anything especially since u were very attached to her. But then again, could she have good reasons for doing so(considering ur best interest)? May be she was threatened not to talk to u, or may be she was very hurt and upset, that she didnt want u to get upset or may be(there can be many explanations).

But considering u love ur mom and u r upset that she left u without saying a word, I think, u should call her over phone and speak to her alone? Do it from a public phone without ur dad knowing so that u will know her side of the story.

Good luck! Be brave always!

Answer 3

oh hun, i am so sorry about ur pain...yes u do need to tell ur mother how u feel...i dont understand how a mother could even think about leaving her children...if she doesnt want to hear it then u need to tell ur dad that u need to get some counceling to try to get over the trama ur mother has put u through...ur mother is a selfish person and maybe u would be better off not going with her...good luck and happy holidays.