2006-12-13 10:27:42 · 18 answers · asked by Barrett G 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay, hands up anyone here who has 1ST HAND EXPERIENCE with swinging or open marriages?? Lots of opinions about it being thrown about, saying how you'd never do such a thing, yada yada yada... But not too many who have actual experience.
My husband and I have had experience with swinging and have had much success with it. It's a common misconception that SWINGING ruins marriage. It's not the swinging that does it; it's the people who bring their emotional baggage and poor communication skills and intolerance and insecurities into the mix that cause the breakdown in their relationships.
Also, I get upset with folks who compare us to cheaters, or say that it's just cheating with permission (IMO, that's more my definition of an "open marriage"). What we do we do with complete honesty. There is no deception. No lies. No hiding and sneaking around. It means being 100% truthful with your spouse about your sexual fantasies and attraction to others. This requires a level of trust that goes beyond the ordinary. It's scary as hell and it's not for wimps. We're branded as immoral, unethical, stupid, and bearing NO respect for marriage or family. This is patently untrue. We understand the risks involved, and we respect marriage and one another enough to be truthful and to never go behind one another's back and betray his or her trust.
It's not for everyone, and it's certainly seen its share of failures, but that doesn't mean that it NEVER works. Sorry for the rant, folks. I just get tired of everyone hearing only one side of the story.
2006-12-19 07:16:55 · answer #1 · answered by intuition897 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The :official" meaning of marriage is defined - marriage n. the joining of a male and female in matrimony by a person qualified by law to perform the ceremony (a minister, priest, judge, justice of the peace, or some similar official), after having obtained a valid marriage license (which requires a blood test for venereal disease in about a third of the states and a waiting period from one to five days in several). The problem with "open" marraige is that both parties have to concent to bring in others. When you add to a two situation and both dont agree completely, and agree on ground rules then someone gets hurt. So why bother with mariage if you want to add others. Just not a great concept to me. Most people dont have that great of communication skills...if your stepping into open marriage you need to be able to talk openly about anything, and be able to live with what you say yes to.
2016-03-29 06:15:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Barrett, you have to decide what it is you're looking for. If you just want to experiment with sex, why get married in the first place? If you are married and want an "open marriage", get divorced and then begin your playing...and if you decide you want a permanent relationship, then get married. It seems to me an "open marriage" is just "being single". Today you can live with anyone (of legal age) for as long or as little as you want...under any rules or conditions you can both agree upon. Why get married and add the complication of a legally-recognized relationship? As for whether an open marriage works, it works as well as any other relationship works, some do and some don't.
2006-12-13 10:32:55 · answer #3 · answered by judgebill 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I know 6 couples that had a swinging lifestyle. Or should I say they use to a couple. Everyone ended in disaster and they went theoir separate ways.... It may be totally acceptable and they might even survive in their marriage, but lets face it.... Vows never include...more than 2 people....
I could never do it. Some people just can't let a fantasy stay a fantasy and then are surprised when it blows up in their face.
2006-12-13 10:31:56 · answer #4 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
except for a select few an open marriage or swinging can profoundly destroy the trust and commitment that marriage is founded upon so do not do it, if you want screw around all you can before marriage EXCEPT FOR WITH UNDERAGE GIRLS mr sexy underwear but do not do an open marriage
2006-12-14 02:48:37 · answer #5 · answered by bartleyrose 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I could never to this--i know it would destroy my relationship with my fiance, and he never would let another man in our bed or in our house if he were there for sexual purposes, but i think he fantasizes about my best friend and also my sister---don't even ask about my mother---but i think that this is the fastest way to ruin a marriage/relationship/engageng. So i would never to this and i would not recommend it to anyone!
2006-12-13 13:10:39 · answer #6 · answered by SuzyBelle04 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
We have had numerous threesomes and would consider moresomes in the right situation. We have been married for a long time and our relationship is phenomenal. The threesomes have never hurt our marriage at all and if anything made the relationship stronger.
2006-12-13 11:11:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
i have been or still am what i call the 3rd wheel in 6 different marriages
and it has always been a blast
we are all still friends and it ruined no marriages or friendships
my buddies or buddies wifes know i am unreal in the sack
yet am not interested in the wifes except for sex and never will try to steal one of the wifes away
the women have a great time, they get to cheat on their hubbies, even though the husbands know about it
and everybody walks away unharmed and with a huge smile on their face
2006-12-13 10:39:27 · answer #8 · answered by seven_ms_man 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Yep..
Most swingers & open marriages wind up in divorce..
The only thing that is reasonable safe is a 3some..
Wife, Another Woman and Hubby..
Wife only and always invites the other women..
Hubby never contacts other women outside of bedroom...
Never had an problem or reprecussion with 3somes done with these rules...
Never ever bring another couple or man into your bed.
2006-12-13 11:12:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
I just had to share that I suggested to my husband that we welcome another woman (I had a close girl friend who was willing to) but he wouldn't because he said this would open the doors to having other men, which he would never be open to as he considers that gay/bisexual and he is totally homophobic.
2006-12-13 10:31:30 · answer #10 · answered by E! 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋