We just got married in October, and it seems like everyday it is something else, and its been going on pretty much since the engagement started. We hadn't been together that long when we got engaged (about 3 months) and now we are married, and its just one fight after the other, its getting old real quick. What to do?
2006-12-13 10:26:15 · 18 answers · asked by TOO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We fought before the wedding, and i almost called off the wedding. I was trying to reason with myself that it was just nerves, but Im not so sure thats what it is anymore. He lives 5 hours away, and we don't get to see each other very much. I miss him when he is not here, but when he is here we are always aggitated or yelling. He wants me to quit my job and move with him, but I make a lot of money, and would never be able to get a comprable amount there, and it seems like he doesn't even care about my job... or anything i care about.... I don't know what to do about all this. I feel ready to give up, and we just started. Please no PRAY TO GOD crap, Im not christian or any form of christianity. Thanks
2006-12-13 10:42:26 · update #1
Sounds like you are both frustrated. The dust is settling and each of you are finding out that the other is not perfect. It might be a phase and then it might be that you 2 are not evenly yoked. Hopefully you're relationship is based on more then sex. It's obvious that you went into the marriage with your eyes wide shut. You were fighting even before you tied the knot, that should've told you something right there. Marriage is suppose to be a lifelong committment and since you are married, if you like each other and have mutual respect for one another you should be able to get thru this.
2006-12-13 10:36:52 · answer #1 · answered by musicisme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want it to work, see someone that you can both talk to. Or ask each other what the prob is. Yeah you got married a little too early. Some people can make it work and some can't. I have been with my honey for 5 years and we just finally made the decison to get married. But we have fought a lot in between. But we both know we could not live without each other. Be paitent. Not every day can be lovely.
2006-12-13 10:31:34 · answer #2 · answered by Mz.H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I Love it when people tell you to talk with god here. Lets not assume she even cares. Get to a counselor fast. If your fighting already it's not the best sign. Your supposed to be a goo goo eyed at this point. You both need to communicate. Some one else said dump him. Nice advice if you never want to be married. Marriage is about pure communication. It's about being a team. It's you two against the world and it always should be. So go get some marriage help from whoever works for you, but make sure you both do it together.
2006-12-13 10:44:16 · answer #3 · answered by Evolving 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to him. But it sounds like to me you care more about your job then your marriage. You should living with your husband not 5 hours away. I get the impression that you are putting it all on him its 50/50. You need to look at the bigger picture,like, if you are not going to get paid as much 5 hours away is it cheaper to live there, that sort of thing. take the blinders off. If you are not willing to look at the whole picture you may as well just give up on the marriage.
2006-12-13 11:06:15 · answer #4 · answered by Pandora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first try to identify the problem. It's not just one person's fault but both of yours. Then try to fix whatever it is. If that doesnt work then go get marriage counseling. You guys may need a break from each other for a while.
2006-12-13 10:35:32 · answer #5 · answered by texastreasure 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go back to the beginning. Separate for awhile and date.You didn't even give yourself a chance to get to know each other before you got married.Has judge maybeline used to say look deep before you leap.I am not say divorce him.I don't want you to think that.You just should take time to get to know each other.Best of luck.
2006-12-13 10:38:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you let Him into your life, He will fix all the messes in your life.
He loves you, you know. And He wants you to know that. He doesnt want you to do what everybody else is telling you. He is just asking you for a chance. He can work this mess out for you only if you believe. He loves you.
2006-12-13 11:16:13 · answer #7 · answered by Nile Queen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness....you got married to someone you really don't know.
If you guys want this to work do now what you should have done before you got married.....get some couples counseling.
If you both work hard at it counseling can save your marriage.....without it I don't think you have a chance.
2006-12-13 10:34:04 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counselor .. Dr Phil
2006-12-13 10:30:19 · answer #9 · answered by nitenurse 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need marriage counseling, either with a therapist or through your church. You need to learn to communicate and resolve issues. Once you do, you'll be fine.
2006-12-13 10:33:42 · answer #10 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋