how do you apalogize for?

Question

i hurt someone and dont know how to apalogize for it!
I had an addiction I was hiding and he found out! I went thru rehab and we r still married as of now! We will get thru it, but he doesnt trust me how do I tell him I am sorry and that I mean it? And how do I get his trust back?

Answer 1

Take it from someone who has a loved one whom is an addict.Words mean nothing once the trust has been broken.Actions mean everything.You have to just take things on step at a time and follow through what ever promises you make be sure to keep them.You taught him to not trust you because you showed him you couldn't be trusted.Now teach him how to trust you again by going through with things now.You cant stop at rehab you have to have after care to.You will need the support especially if your relationship is rocky you need the extra help to stay strong and stay away from you addiction what ever it maybe.You can do it if you really want to.You just have to decide which is more important your addiction or your marriage.You took the biggest step by going into rehab.But just because you started getting help doesn't erase the past.I think that is one of my brothers problems with staying clean he thinks that just because he went into rehab and have been off drugs for a short time that everybody should just forget the crap that he put them through in the past.Please don't make that mistake you have to understand that you can't get angry with him if he can't or won't forgive you.You are the one who wronged him not the other way around.If you just take things slow and don't let your relationship problems get to you.You will succeed.And in time you will regain his trust.Good luck I wish you the best.

Answer 2

TIME, TIME, TIME, TIME.
Making sure you show, not just say, in everything, all the time, that you are sorry and wont do it again. He has to be shown over a long period of time that what you tell him, he can take to the bank. You have to prove to him by what you say and what you do, that if you told him you had a busy day, went to the moon, visited mars, had coffee in Brazil and then got home and are now cooking dinner, he has no reason to question it, other then did you have a nice time and does mars look like you thought it would.

It really is that simply and it is also the only way to do so. How long it takes, you really dont have a right to question or crank about either, so keep that in mind.

Answer 3

Trust has to be earned. And for you that will be hard, because you've earned & lost it once already. ...But it's not impossible. You need to use actions, not just words. Let him know how deeply sorry you are for causing him pain, & tell him you will do everything you can to SHOW HIM that you have truly changed. Also be sure to explain that you hid what you were doing because you knew it was wrong, you were ashamed, & fearful of his reaction/rejection. It is normal to hide addictions. Maybe he would consider a meeting for family & friends of addicts; I'm sure that would be helpful as well. Good luck to you!

Answer 4

Same story as mine, except my boyfriend was the one hiding his addiction. We've gone to addiction counselling together (I went to know what it does and how to help ease off the addiction) and went through a lot of crap. Now he is about 3 months clean and the only way I feel that brought my trust back was that he changed his ways. He was home more, helped out with the kids more, wanted to spend time with me more and changed his range of friends.
It's just gonna take time honey, Let him know you love him and appreciate that he is there for you. Maybe suggest that just the two of you take a little vacation or night just for eachother. Believe me it helps.
Take care and God bless.

Answer 5

Time heals. There is not really anything you can say to make this situation any better. All you can do is stay away from the addiction and by this ACTION you will show him you are sincere. I'm sorry I wish I had some magic words for you that could make him see in your heart but I don't.

Answer 6

You just have to show him that you want a life with him. Cook him dinners, do the things a wife is known to do. Actions speak louder than words. Give him lots of lovin. Good luck to you sweetie. You didn't cheat on him with another man, so you will get over this situation, it's not the worst thing you could have done.

Answer 7

not only should you go to rehab, but he also needs to attend some kind of family support sessions. they will help him understand the situations you've been in and how you are trying to cope and gain his trust back. simply, you and him can go to marriage counseling...and that will really help. And take him out, surprise him with a special gift, do things you would never do, to gain his attention and humor....good luck

Answer 8

Once trust is broken it has to be earned and that takes time. You can say you're sorry and that you mean it but for him only time will heal all wounds. If he loves you he will hang in for the long haul to see if you really mean it or not.

Answer 9

Consistent appropriate behaviour. In time, with hard work and consistently not falling prey to your former addiction, your husband will forgive and trust you again. Give him time- men like to be everything to their wives and when they find out something like an addiction has been hidden from them, they feel like they weren't good enough for you to share it with them. This is a hit to his ego as well. Be patient. Time will fix it, and be consistent in your behaviour by not going back to your addiction. Prove yourself to him and you'll be fine.

Answer 10

Trust is a funny thing, once broken it can almost never be replaced or fixxed. It really does upset me how people throw the word trust around like it is so simple. Honestly he will probably never trust you again