2006-12-13 10:01:24 · 37 answers · asked by Hook-em Horns 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is nothing wrong with you and don't blame yourself for her going outside of your marriage. First of all. Next, she needs to figure out what she wants out of life, out of you and out of your relationship, and you need to sit down with her and talk about this, in order for you to determine if you even share the same goals and interests, because that is extremely important in a marriage and in any relationship. If you get past this, and decide to stick it through, at least you both will have goals to approach in your marriage, and you need to work on getting the trust back. It's not impossible. Actions speak louder than words, that's how a trust is gained back. If a person truly shows you that they are willing to live a life with you and are truly sorry for their mistakes, it will ultimately show with their actions. Only God can judge. Good luck to you!
2006-12-13 10:24:52 · answer #1 · answered by E! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't just give it up like that without giving a chance. Talk to your wife and seek counseling from a professional. Save the marriage if you can unless if your wife clearly wants to let go of the marriage. It is easier said than done but there is no guarantee in everything you do. So, try to work things out. You will never know the end result unless you try.
2006-12-13 10:06:18 · answer #2 · answered by nomamalin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well a lot of this is up to you, of course. I suggest that you take sometime to yourself and figure out what was climate of your relationship in the past. What I mean by this is do you think that she is really worth working things out. People are human and make mistakes, but remember you caught her. She didn’t come up to you with a guilty conscious. Remember that she could have given you a disease or she could be pregnant by this man. She didn’t care about the consequences and therefore she didn’t care for you. It’s going to take some time for you to grieve over your relationship, if you decided that you don’t want to reconcile. Remember to stay true to yourself and do not hurt the next person you come across. The woman who cheated on you… well it’s her problem, her drama, her issues not yours. I suggest that you keep yourself around good friends and get involved in some positive activities and move forward. Depending on how old you are or if you guys have kids will definitely influence your decision. Personally, I say let it go and slowly move on with your life. Please, don’t waste your time if it’s not necessary. I hope you find some reason in these words and feel free to e-mail me.
2006-12-13 10:13:30 · answer #3 · answered by heavenly_bluestar1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOOK!!!
Please do not listen to all those negative people out there!
Do you love her? Do you treat her good all the time...
Love her
Be sweet
Appreciate her
Sometimes woman cheat because they are week in some emotional area, most of the times its an area that the hubby is not giving in as much as he used to, please do not be discouraged. show her how much she hurt you but also show her that you love her, if you have been good to her I'm sure she is regretting... Sometimes it takes a bad situation like this for you both to know what you have and might loose, keep your head up and be the bigger person, she fell in temptation but that does not mean you need to throw away your marriage! Work at this and restore your marriage pray and ask God to come into your lives and change it. you can move mountains if you have FAITH it in the bible, also look up Philippians verse 4 chapter 13 it say "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me"
2006-12-13 10:20:28 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counselling, counselling, counselling. Get to the bottom of the reasons that she had the affair. What exactly did she get from the other person that she isn't getting from you? What need is being fulfilled within her? Is this about your marriage or about her fulfilling desires within herself? Remember that what other people do is all about them, and not about you. This is not your fault no matter what anyone says. People do not have affairs because they are miserable in their marriage- people have affairs because they are looking for something they can't give themselves and (typically) haven't expressed the desire for it to their mates. How many people with great self confidence do you know of that have had affairs? (I'd be willing to bet zero, because no one with great self confidence is going to put themselves in that position) Some people simply have extremely low self esteem and go towards anyone that will compliment them and build up their self image. Stay strong, take care of yourself. Keep your mind busy so you don't obsess on the issue at hand, and get into counselling whether she will go or not.
2006-12-13 10:18:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know it really doesn't seem fair. Why is it that we seem to hurt the people that we love the most. sorry to hear that your wife hasn't been true to you. The way I see it is, if she wanted to be with you then she would have, and wouldn't have seen the need to find some one else on the side. regardless if she thought she would get caught or not. But seeing as she is with some one then she must not just want to be with you any more. She just didn't have the guts to tell you to your face. move on with your life, and find some one who will be true to you and make you happy.
2006-12-13 10:08:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ofcourse your heart will be broken it is normal, when someone steals something that is ours, we feel betrayed and hurt. but she couldn't have been stolen had she not agreed to it. she wanted to be with him, and atleast u know where u stand, atleast u don't have to go through years and years with a cheating mate, and not know it. best to know it, and get the hurt over with, and move on. what u should do? depends on if u still love her. depends on her response to it all, depends if she still loves u. depends if you all have children, and depends on if u think u could forgive her in time. sometimes it is best to just get the hurt over with, and the rejection now, rather than invest anymore into that person who didn't value u in the first place. betrayal is something that takes time to get past, it is up to her to regain your trust, the entire thing is up to her, and how she handles it, if she know's or cares how hurt u are.
2006-12-13 10:13:46 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to sit down with her and have a civilized talk. Tell her how you really feel about the whole situation and find out if you can what she is feeling. See if she wants to try to work things out with you or just don't want to loose you becuase of the security she has with you. Maybe you should try spicing things up with her too. Do things you never thought you would do.
2006-12-13 10:04:39 · answer #8 · answered by outnproud27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she asks, forgive her but once you do, don't use it against her when you argue. That isn't love.
If she doesn't ask, you may be the only one in love and you will be opening yourself up to more heartache because she is just going to continue cheating. Make a clean break and remember, she obviously is not your soul mate or wouldn't have to be asking this question!
2006-12-13 10:10:34 · answer #9 · answered by Shadow Dancer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont do anything yet... talk to her.. find out why she did it? Tell her exactly how you feel dont hold back.. That will take a weight off your heart.... the pain will still but nto hold ing back will help you release...Also, dont raise your voice that will lead to an argument and you will make it worse. I know you are hurt and angry but yelling will not solve anything. Sorry to hear..TIme will heal your pain... It might not take it all away but it will put a bandaid on it.
2006-12-13 10:08:45 · answer #10 · answered by PinkPrincess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋