I was married for only a year and got divorced, I have a few friends in marriages of 4 years and they are misserable.
2006-12-13 09:39:20 · 11 answers · asked by we_r_nd1000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
depends on whether or not they have children and how much they tried working out their problems... :o(
2006-12-13 09:42:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Younger people do not seem to realize that marriage is not a throw-away institution. Marriage is a very serious commitment and it should not be something you rush into to "play house."
Too many people are willing to toss out the spouse when things get a little difficult or the fun fades away. Marriage takes a huge amount of work from both people. You have to sacrifice a lot to keep a marriage going.
Many people today are used to "instant gratification" and are not willing to work to keep the marriage going. They also are self-centered and do not want to give up their fun times to help their spouse. A night out with friends seems too important to give up for an evening home with your spouse.
To finally answer the question about how long to consider whether a marriage will work, just search your heart. Have you really given 100% to the marriage? Have you put your spouse's happiness ahead of your own? Have you really communicated with your spouse and tried to work on the weak areas of your marriage? If you answer "yes" to all of these, then the marriage has run its course.
2006-12-13 18:15:12 · answer #2 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All marriages will work, as long as there is no abuse or cheating and both are willing to work hard. Successful marriages don't just happen, they have to be worked at continually. Some days one will have to meet the other over half way, some days the other will have to go more than half way and some days they both meet in the middle. My parents have been married 53 years and I've never heard them cross with each other. I've been married nearly twelve years and still happy. Don't get me wrong, sometimes you will dislike your spouse and want to thump 'em over the head with a big heavy object - just don't actually do it! The spouse will obviously have the same feelings occasionally, too. So, how long? God says forever or until death. If you don't agree with him, then how long is up to you. There are no set answers to your question and really - no right answers!
2006-12-13 18:20:07 · answer #3 · answered by Shadow Dancer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question is a bit hard to understand, but I think you're trying to ask how long should you stay married before you give up? Hopefully I am right. In my opinion, if you commit to a marriage, it is a life long commitment unless something drastic happens to alter the course of your lives or you have given it your all and the two of you agree it is not working. In my opinion, adultery, abuse and mental incapacitation are some of the reasons marriage should end, and in those situations, there is no time frame- it's just whenever it happens. If it is simply being miserable and incompatible and you want to know how long you go on before getting out, then I feel you should do everything in your power to make it work- you go to counselling, you put 100% effort into it, you do everything within your power to make it work. If, after you have given it your all, you are still miserable, then it's time to get out and only you can say how long that will take because only you know the limits of what you can do.
2006-12-13 18:10:06 · answer #4 · answered by Peace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, 16 years is a long time to still not know the answer to this question. I think people who marry young have a harder time making it work after you mature some. What seems like a "good match" at 17 is not the same as what you would consider at 30 or so.
2006-12-13 17:47:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on who youre judging yourself against. You say you have friends in miserable marriages but they are still married and youre not after 1 yr for whatever reason. There are alot of us out here with marriages approaching 30 yrs or more so marriages of 10 or 15 yrs are still honeymooners compared to us and many with alot of married yrs are divorcing so whose to say if and when a marriage will last or work, but enjoy what time you have together because none of us knows what tomorrow will bring
2006-12-13 17:55:00 · answer #6 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am married 26 years. The first 3 are tuff. My wife and I, all have parents, grandparents, great grandparents, all married over 50 years.......... divorce is not an option from the beginning.
2006-12-13 17:44:46 · answer #7 · answered by IcanfeeltheRain 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
been married for 10 years, its only as misserable as you make it for yourself. Gotta choose one, cannot be married and try to live a bachelors life, most guys make that mistake.
2006-12-13 17:49:59 · answer #8 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should no if your compatable with a person, but i don't think a year is long enough, personally i don't think you gave it enough time, did you consider counseling.
2006-12-13 17:49:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
one to two years of hard work an dedication. then if it is still not working , it is time to quit kissing a)ss and get out!
2006-12-13 18:26:46 · answer #10 · answered by Gayisha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋