I was in a relationship for 3 years with a guy and we are both straight acting. He recently started to talk about not having a future together. I was already insecure about losing him, but said Ok when he came back and said he had a girl interested in him. I didnt want him to leave but he finally left last month and now he says he is committed to the girl. I really love him too much, but think that he wouldnt have dumped me had it not been for the girl, only on the pretext that he didnt see a future together as lovers, but as friends between us. I really want him back in my life, but he refuses to come back to me stating that I shouldnt try and get things back to square one. He also owes me money and a few other things. I am hurting, wanting to let go but still hope he will come back to me someday to be able to share our beautiful moments together. What should I do? Should I reach out to his new gf and tell her that she stole my bf? But he wanted it too. How do I deal with this?
2006-12-13 09:18:14 · 24 answers · asked by Fast C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First of all...whether it would have been this girl or another one he would have left. He is just too chicken sh1t to leave without someone waiting. Second.....NEVER SETTLE AS SECOND BEST!!! He has already declared you, in his mind, as second best.
You hurt because you feel betrayed..that is crappy but it will pass. You should really move on, he had proven himself to be incapable of treating you the way you deserve to be treated. This new girl may not have integrity enough to tell you EXb/f that she will not see a guy who has a g/f BUT..she made no promises to you, he did. So really it is pointless to say anything to her..she didn't steal him...he left by his own choice. She might have made his choice a little easier but it was his choice. He will get his and so will she..so don't worry it will happen soon enough.
As for you...time to move on. You deserve to have someone who will not be on the lookout for some other chick.
How to move on...look back on your relationship, cherish the good memories and find what you have learned from this guy. Figure out what exactly you are willing to and willing not accept from a future relationship..this will give you internal power and strength. It won't happen overnight but it will make the transition easier. It sounds cliche but every time a door is shut...really it is just a new one opening,
I wish you luck and DON'T SETTLE AS SECOND BEST!!
2006-12-13 09:29:42 · answer #1 · answered by yidlmama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea I'm not gay, but uhh relationships are pretty much the same either way as far as I know... It always sucks bro losing someone you care about, but you can't blame it on the girl as far as him leaving. He was going to leave one way or another, it seems like that was his plan reguardless. So as far as that goes it's really all about moving on. At this point you should get out of the house and stop giving yourself reasons to feel bad about it. In reality you only want to expose your relationship to this new partner because you're hurt and jealous, if you feel that will be the best way for you to heal then do it! You have to do what's best for your emotional state, if you feel you're more mature then petty things like that (I'm not) then just party, get a hobby, buy a pet..something to distract yourself 3 years is alot of time to spend with someone to have them give it all up....most likely if you just keep your cool have some fun and make your life worth living , He'll come back or see you sometime and see how well you're doing and how much better your life is without him. at that point he'll want you back but hopefully by then you won't need him...Good luck!!! and remember no matter how bad life sucks...theres always beer....or winecoolers...
2006-12-13 17:28:10 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you definitely should not go to the girlfriend! That would only cause a pointless fight in which you would end up looking like a complete idiot and the guy wouldn't want anything to do with you. If you want him back than all you can do is wait and see if he ends up wanting to be with you. Be yourself and have fun and just try to move on. If he ends up regretting his decision he'll let you know. But don't waste time on this one. Just let him go. Go out with your friends and have fun and find some healthy way to release your anger over this.
2006-12-13 17:22:01 · answer #3 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've told him how you feel, and he has still made it clear that he is happy where he is. It may hurt - but maybe you should just let sleeping dogs lie. Move on and find another beautiful relationship and share new memories w/ him.
You're better then some guy who can't commit to you and who leaves you for a woman.
2006-12-13 17:23:42 · answer #4 · answered by Niko 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a guy. Honestly, if I was you bf and we had just broken up the last thing that I would want is my ex trying to ruin things with my new gf. Just see if you two can be friends for a while and then after he breaks up with her, if they do, then try to get back together.
2006-12-13 17:25:12 · answer #5 · answered by Zach D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's like the old saying goes. If you love some thing then let it go, if it comes back to you, love it forever, if it doesn't, then it was never meant to be.
And as for telling the new gf about what he has done, i wouldn't. changes are she wont believe you any ways, and you will come off as the physco ex gf. but if you believe in karma then don't worrie he will get what's coming to him.
2006-12-13 17:26:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all its not going to change allot if you do tell her about yourself EXCEPT this--you will loose him forever as even for a friend--so if you don't care about that then go ahead and tell her He will get mad and they might break up but he WONT come back to you --so you then have a loose loose situation --I personally think you need to move on and think that maybe someday you can at least have a friendship
2006-12-13 17:25:10 · answer #7 · answered by skizzle-d-wizzle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time to move on and get yourself a new life. He has already and, has let you know, you are not part of his future. As hard as it is, move on. No reason to even talk to the new firlfriend. He was not happy with you,else, he would not have moved on to another woman. Good luck, and keep your chin up. The right one for you is out there somewhere.
2006-12-13 17:23:16 · answer #8 · answered by debo3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Exposing him is not going tio make him come back to you. He will hate you and resent you. You can ask for your money back, but then you will seem scorned and trying to get his attention. He will ignore you and push you away.
So, at this point, your best bet is to let go. If you really love him and care for him, let him be and remain friends.
Good luck
2006-12-13 17:23:30 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Three years is a long time for a 'relationship'. I hope you got your money's worth because it is over. Start your life over and next time be very careful about having a 'relationship' without a
meaningful 'commitment'.
2006-12-13 17:28:06 · answer #10 · answered by Dinman83 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋