I am 30 years old and have been married for six months. When does it get better?!?

Question

Sometimes I miss my own house, keeping my own hours, not having to cook/clean for someone else, blah blah blah

Answer 1

YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE YOU TIED THE KNOT!!!

Answer 2

Don't listen to these people...the first few months are very difficult, especially if you have been single for a long time. I am very happily married for 15 years now, but was ready to get a divorce after the first three months. My wife and I both were late 20's when we got married and both were used to living alone in our own homes. It was very difficult to adjust. I am not saying that you will have a wonderful marriage...that depends on what you and your spouse have between you, but I know for sure that for some people the first year or so is very difficult. It is a big adjustment if you are accustomed to having everything your own way and then suddenly have a roommate that you have to deal with 24/7. Good Luck and hang in there for a little longer.

Answer 3

At thirty years old you were not a young child going straight from mom and dads house into a married life. You grew into the person that you are, alone. Your spouse, I'm sure, has done the same thing. As we get older it gets harder for us to adjust to new things. Hence the saying, "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" (Not calling you a dog by any means) If you really want this to work out for you hang in there. The daily routine will eventually get easier as you get into your groove. Besides my Grandma used to always tell me that the first five years of marriage are the hardest. She'd say that you can never truly know how a person really is until you're married and sometimes it takes a while for people to adjust to this new person. Best of luck to you.

Answer 4

I think, like with most women, you had a fairytale idea about marriage. Even in stories with the fairytale endings, you never get to see what happens AFTER the "happily ever after" ending.

You need to stop thinking about the negative points of your relationship and focus on the positive ones. Sometimes it helps to sit down and make a list of the GOOD the BAD and even the UGLY side of your marriage.

Also, I would suggest not having children until you are happy with the relationship you are in now. Kids can complicate things in ways you can never imagine. Also, they shouldnt be stuck in all the drama that comes when either mom or dad is unhappy. Having a child wont make thing better (if you were thinking along those terms), they will only magnify the problems.

Answer 5

If after only 6 months you don't like marriage, then marriage probably isn't for you. Most people are still in the newlywed stage, were all is very good, and that stage lasts typically up to a year or two. The "newness" of marriage keeps people very content during that time.

If you, after only 6 months, are not content that it is possible that you simply are the type of person that shouldn't be married. Maybe you like your independence and doing things your own way.

Not everyone should be married.

If you want it to work, tell your spouse how you feel, and get marriage counseling if needed....or go your seperate ways now.

Good luck!

.

Answer 6

Sweetie you are a newlywed.This should be the good times.If you aren't having fun now than you will probably be in big trouble later.You know marriage isn't for everyone.Some people are just happier being single.I took to marriage like a duck to water but I know not everyone does.Then again you could just be going through an adjustment period which is most likely the problem.Did you live together before you were married.If not it is hard to just suddenly be shoved into a house with someone else and be expected to cope with things has they are.If you haven't lived with him before then you just need to give yourself time to adjust to your new way of life.You should talk to you new hubby and tell him how you feel.He may be having troubles himself and are just afraid to say anything.Marriage is supposed to be a journey the two of you take.Not a chore.Especially when you are newlyweds just starting your life together it should be an adventure.You guy's have to figure things out together if you want your relationship to work.Best of luck to you both.

Answer 7

You have only benn married for 6 months and are asking that already? I have been maried for 9 years (Dec22) and once you get into a rotuine it will get eaiser. As for better in my case is is not better every day but it is good and i am content. It does not go all downhill it takes 2 to work on a marrige. You don't like cooking and cleaning maybe you can ask him to take over some of the chores. Good luck

Answer 8

Marriage is like wine. The older it is the better it gets. If you are overwhelmed with cooking and cleaning, outsource it. Keep your own hours, what is preventing you from doing it? In fact, marriage is all about compromise. Be prepared for 100% compromise from your side and expect 0 % from the spouse's side. Be aware that it is normal to be ignored and not appreciated for all the efforts you put into marriage. So have your expectations to the minimum and you will be fine. Have a wonderful married life.

Answer 9

Sorry, the cooking and cleaning never ends but it does get worse as you have kids!

Set some rules down about cleaning and cooking, but don't get mad at him if things aren't done exactly the way you want them done. You two are getting use to each other and you need to set up some ground rules now or you'll be doing everything from here on out.

Remember you love him or you wouldn't have married him!

Answer 10

Try to keep in mind love is a verb.

Actively love your spouse. Create that energy of love.

Also make sure that you are both doing what you can to contribute to what I call the "monkey work" of life -- all those little chores that must be done, but aren't always.

If necessary, try to make it a positive ritual. Wash/or load the dishes together after dinner.

Use that as a remember to know each other as a person time. there is a book called the BIG BOOK of IF after a game. It has lots of interesting questions to discuss -- no wrong or rite answers, just questions.

also try the websites below:

best,

cez

Answer 11

sally, it may sound bad to you. but I'm 30 and I would trade places in a hear beat with you right now. do you know how agonizing it is to not know if you will ever find a husband and have children with him? I do not want to be old and have children, but it seems like I'm headed down that road. i wish I could be married so I did not have to pile through all the horny losers I'm finding now. plus sharing some health insurance!

if you are doing all the cleaning and stuff. if you are not working. stop whining, that is your job! if you are working on top of that then get a back bone and tell him to help!