Funny TV News Headlines?

Question

The Ipswich murders are absolutley awful and they do indeed deserve the amount of coverage their getting. I am very saddened about what has happened and I can imagine the impact it having on communites in Suffolk, I used to live there myself

Before all this (and I am not complaining so don't misunderstand me) Look East and Anglia TV had a lot of lighthearted and funny headlines, in fact I used to switch over from Reporting Scotland (I live in Aberdeen now) to Look East it was more lighthearted and some the stories were a bit of a laugh. My recent favs are:

Cat receives poisoned pen letter - a cat was sent a letter threatening reprisals if it did not stop eating other cats food in the area. (The letter was sent to the cat not the owner)

a man attacked by a frozen sausage - a man was driving along the M11 and a frozen sausage came flying through his car window and hit him. They even gave him a 5 min interview

Do you know of any funny headlines?

Answer 1

Here is one, a man reportedly called police after someone stole his marijuana that he had planned to sell.
And one more, a hotel worker was charged with stealing a sleep number bed and a TV from where he worked to give them as Christmas gifts for his wife.

Answer 2

"Troops watch Orange march"

"Police disbelieve a man who says he is not dead"

"Police move in book case"

"Most Gay people unhappy"

"Foot heads arms body" (The British politician, Micheal Foot, chaired a Commons Select Committee on Arms Sales to South Africa)

"Choose choice cheeses choices chopped" (Advertising Standards Authority)

"Bacon states bacon is not kosher" (an obscure one - Judge Bacon giving judgement in a High Court case. Interestingly, Judge Bacon, like myself, is Jewish and a Lawyer). A related article stated that the entire case had been brought in a "hamfisted manner".

Seen at the bottom of a page - "The Editor cannot be hald responsible for any inoccuracies"

Crossword clue " Found at the top of a newspaper - a crease on the brow?" (7). The answer, of course is 'headline' (8 letters!)


A related subject - funny adverts

"We are not allowed to tell you anything about Winst*n Cigarettes, so here's a tart leaning on a bar" (the poster showed a jammie dodger resting on a chisel)

Answer 3

2006/11/28
There are plenty of funny excuses invented by those who didn’t want to go to work. However the one invented by a young South African is one of the most original and funny. He pretended to be pregnant to play hooky from work and tried to cover it with a fake gynaecologist's certificate.
A young South African has been fined by a local court for playing hooky from work and trying to cover it with a fake gynaecologist's certificate attesting he was pregnant and needed a week off.
A magistrate's court in Vereeniging, near Johannesburg, fined the 27-year-old man 1,000 rand (140 dollars/107 euros) for the brazen forgery, the SAPA news agency reported Monday.

The man stole a medical certificate from a health centre used by his pregnant girlfriend but was apparently unaware that only women consulted gynaecologists. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Magistrate Bruno Van Eeden jokingly warned Sibindana "not to walk around faking sick letters from gynaecologists."

Answer 4

yes, to dr david, what would you do if someone called you out at night saying a mr claus had become stuck in their chimney, and the police refused to attend, ?
headlines, i liked the wartime one , Monty flies back to front.
the swimming pool ine, where dry water was being used as a trial, to save laundry, and of course the notice on a coatbridge butchers window, Hot brides, fifty pence each.

Answer 5

they save relating Michelle Obama as a that even although she has no resemblance. There are stable thoughts of small creatures stated as Orang Pendek. They even in all probability have modern fossils stated as Homo floresiensis.

Answer 6

Many funny headlines I can think of, but I think more about the family's that are suffering after loosing loved ones, whatever their profession, than answering your question.

Sorry, but you should have put this question differently.