im 17 and getting married the day i turn 18?

Question

is that too soon?

im in college and we have been together for 2 years

quit saying i need to experence life


i have gone through more than people 3 times my age should go through.

Answer 1

I think that it is possible for a woman to be ready for marriage at a young age, but there is one thing about marriage that makes it hard (THE MAN). I am just assuming that your fiance is probably the same age as you and I can not stress enough the fact that HE IS NOT MATURE enough to handle this responsibility. I don't think men are ready until about 29 maybe 28. I bet you the men on this site will even agree with me. It isn't their fault, they just mature later then us ladies.

You say that you have gone through a lot and that you have experienced life. Make sure your partner has done the same. You don't want to be married to someone that eventually comes to you and says, "I need to discover who I am."

If you are bound and determined to get married...at least do this:

Sit down with your fiance and have the following conversations.

1. Have an open conversation about sex. What do you like? What do you expect in the future? What is your definition of fidelity? Are you satisfied with our sex life? (side note...if you are too embarrassed to have then conversation then you aren't ready for marriage.)

2. Have an open conversation about money. How much do you make? How much do you expect to make? How do you spend money? What are your future financial goals (ex. own a home, buy a car, go to college)?


3. Have an open conversation about family. Do you want children? How many? How do you expect to raise them? Where do you expect to raise them? How do the two of you feel about your perspective in-laws? How big of a role will they play in your life?

4. Have an open conversation about your life up to now. What have you gone through? What baggage are you bringing to this marriage?

If you can't have an open conversation about any of these issues then you are NOT ready or your partner is NOT ready. A part of being an adult is being able to recognize your motive behind an action and being honest with yourself about your decision process.

Just remember the only thing you have control over is your own actions. You can not control someone else and you have to have complete trust that you are picking the right partner for you. Nobody gets married thinking they are going to get divorced, but sometimes people don't evaluate the other person in the equasion enough.

Answer 2

Probably.

LOL ok babe everyone said no and you gave all of them a thumbs down rating. Why did you even ask if you weren't going to listen?
You are 17 now, been with him for 2 years, and have been through more men than most people three times your age? If you went through that many boyfriends by 15 that is pretty sad.
Yes you do need to experience life. You are 17. You have no idea. You can't. Ask anyone over 30 (except that burned out hippie or the 35 year old who hangs out with the teens out in front of malls) and they'll tell you the same thing.
You have no idea what you are getting yourself into. You are still pretty much a child. You have loads of growing up to do - that is clear even from the extra details you threw onto your question.

Looking back on your past questions tells us even more.
You took 6 midol at once.
You are interested in dropping acid.
You also seem to be pregnant. Not a good idea to be ODing and dropping acid while pregnant.

It is not an insult to say you are not mature enough. It is the truth. Sorry.

Answer 3

Wait!!! Its WAY to soon! We all think we know what we want, but the reality is, people change and grow. You think you've been through alot, wait until you take on the responsibility of a marriage. You will look back at yourself when you are 27 and say what the hell was I thinking.. And look at other 17-18 yr olds and see how much life they have before them... Take it from someone who went down that road, although I relish all the experiences I have had in my life. I wish that I would have had someone be honest instead of having people tell me what I wanted to hear...

The two of you are probably in love, but whats the hurry??? Your talking about being with this person the rest of your life... whats a couple more years.. Love is love with or without a legally binding contract....

There are many,many experiences you will be missing out on, regardless of what experiences you have had, you haven't even been alive a quarter of your life span, yet. If you think you've been through more than most people now give it just 5 years and you will have evolved into another person... It seems like you are convinced this is the way to go, but I implore you to give it at least until your 21, the world will be a different place to you...

Answer 4

I do not want to affend you, but it seems as though you have doubts yourself... 18 is very young. You may have been in many relationships in the past, but then again your past is very short. You are in many ways still a child, you don't realize it now but at 20, 25 , 30 , 35 you will see it. Life is so short and you haven't even lived yet. You should enjoy your college years and then settle down with a spouse and start a family. Can you imagine being 19 with a 2 month old and 40 credit hours worth of college, along with marital obligations and that's if you don't have to get job too? You need to ask the question to those girls/women out there who have done all of these things and accomplished their goals. Think about it. Its a huge step and responsibility. Look at the statistics. Good luck!!!!!

Answer 5

absolutely, way too soon. You are in college, on the right path, if it is real w/ this guy, it will be real when you graduate too which most likely you won't if you get married at 18...
Don't be another statistic, get a grip, that is way too young, been there, done that...ending up preggers and never got anywhere in my life for 20 years, too busy raising the kids and being put down by the idiot I let talk me into it....
It is hard enough to be married when you are all grown up, you aren't right now. Get your education, you may feel differently after that or the same, but be a smart girl, give life a chance before yu give it up...please...think long and hard...if you had a daughter is that what you would want her to do????? My guess is no, if it wouldn't be good enough for her why would it be for you????....take some time and good luck to you.

Answer 6

Well my first answer to your question would of been yes, but then I thought about it... Does it really matter how old the individual is at the time of marriage? Seriously I don't think so. If your gonna stay together forever I don't think your age is gonna have an effect on that. If you're gonna get divorced (hopefully not) then I don't think your age matters in that case either. How many ppl. got divorced because of the age they got married? They either cheated on each other or just got bored of each other. If you got married at 35, then trust me at 36 you will already be sick of your mate. I am 22. I have been married for 5 months. I love my husband and had a relationship with him for 4 years before we got married. Somedays I get really annoyed of him but I would never divorce him just for that reason. PPL have to know that marriage is a commitment for life not just until you get bored. If you believe that than you are not making mistake.

Answer 7

You asked, so I will answer. At 17 you still have a lot to learn. You say you have been through a lot already and that may be true but trust me when I tell you there's a lot more in life you have to learn, it is. My advise is take it slow. Go to college, get your degree, get a job and then get married. I know you may think that doing all of this will take a lot of years but trust me, 4 years flies by quickly. Enjoy your teen and 20's (at least half of them) because you will never see them again. I have classmates my age (late 20's) that married so young or had children very young who regret it because they feel they missed out on life and had to grow up fast. The bottom line, it's your decision. I hope you think long and hard about getting married at 18. Good Luck

Answer 8

Well me and my boyfriend were together 11 months and a few months after I turned 18 we got married. Im a senior year in high school right now and im in love.... i think that if your really in love its a great idea im totally happy and excited to share the rest of my life with this guy... when you find the right person you just know it.... no mattter how young you are it doesnt matter.....just make sure you guys sit down and talk about your future... but i say go for it!!!!

Answer 9

Well, since you have to ask, I think you should hold off on marriage. Asking a group of strangers is it too soon clearly tells me that you are not ready. You say quit saying you need to experience life, but the fact of the matter is, that is the truth. You do need to experience life more. Finish college, get a job and then get married. Marriage is a big step, so take your time, don't rush. If he loves you, he will continue to be around.

Answer 10

YES IT"S TOO SOON!!!!!!!! Go to college. See the world. Meet some people. Learn a language. Salsa. Eat weird food. Wear clothes that old people can't get away with wearing. But Don't get married!!! Not now!!! And if this is the absolute love of your life, it will still be there when you are all grown up and educated and partied out and ready to pay bills and make babies and argue over the toilet seat.